Russian writer Dostoyevsky said: \”The second half of a person\’s life is composed of habits, but his habits are formed in the first half of his life. In the first half of his life, the most important thing is the child\’s childhood.\” Childhood. Children during this period are in the initial stage of their lives, which is the best period for developing habits and character. If we always think that \”the child is still young, it will be fine when he grows up\”, thereby neglecting to discipline the child. Then, when you find something is wrong and want to correct it, unfortunately, the child has grown up, and it is almost impossible for his habits and personality to change much. Whether a child is spoiled or not can be seen from the external manifestations. When a child exhibits the following four behaviors, it is likely that he or she has been spoiled by his or her parents. Never be soft-hearted and indulge your children for a moment. You must know that the older a child grows, the harder it is to change. You must correct it in time when the child is young. There is a child who has been \”acquainted\” with others since he was a child. He is over 5 years old. Every time he goes to other people\’s homes as guests, he will rummage through their TV cabinets and drawers. Although the child\’s mother would give the child a few symbolic lessons, it was of no use. Out of sympathy, the host had no choice but to say with a smile: \”It\’s okay, all children are like this!\” Why do children like to rummage through other people\’s things? How should parents guide their children when they encounter other people\’s drawers? Children are naturally lively and active, with strong curiosity and desire to explore. They like to explore and discover with their own hands. Especially in unfamiliar environments, I am particularly curious and like to explore those hidden nooks and crannies, rummaging through cabinets and digging under tables like a treasure hunt. As adults, we all know from the bottom of our hearts that children who are young and rummaging through other people\’s things are just to satisfy their curiosity, not to take other people\’s things. However, a child\’s behavior of opening drawers and cabinets in other people\’s homes will be considered as lacking tutoring. Some people care about face and are embarrassed to express their displeasure. But as a parent, you must correct it in time. So, how should parents guide and correct it? First of all, we must strengthen children’s awareness of property rights. After the age of 2, after the child has experienced the sensitive period of self-awareness, he can distinguish the meaning of \”mine\” and \”other people\’s\”. At this time, he already has a sense of property rights. Parents should provide timely guidance to let their children understand which things belong to them and can be freely controlled; which things belong to others and cannot be touched casually without others\’ permission. Secondly, let the children understand the sense of boundaries. If it is understandable for a child to rummage around in other people\’s homes before the age of 3, but if it still happens after the age of 3, it only shows that the child seriously lacks a \”sense of boundaries\” in family education. In the minds of most parents, they feel that the closer they are, the more they should have no reservations. They would like to tell everything about themselves, and they can hardly tolerate any distance between themselves and their children. However, this kind of parent-child relationship without any sense of boundaries has become the number one killer of children\’s happiness. A child with no sense of boundaries will easily fight with other children in kindergarten or elementary school because he always feels that he is the best and everything should be his. When I grow up, I don’t know how to get along with others in order to maintain mutual respect.Comfortable distance. Zhou Guoping once said that a sense of proportion is a sign of mature love. It knows how to respect the necessary distance between people. This distance means respect for the other person as an independent personality. Children with a sense of boundaries can clarify the boundaries between themselves and others, including material and physical boundaries. They can also know how to guard their own boundaries, have rules and a sense of responsibility. Smart parents know how to teach their children a sense of boundaries in a timely manner, because the relationship between parents and children is ultimately a practice of \”gradually drifting apart\”. Swearing and being rude to the elderly. A few days ago, I met a little boy in the community, about four or five years old. He was lying on the ground rolling around and clamoring to buy toys from the store. The grandma beside her, with a hunched body, was holding several boxes of cold medicine in one hand and trying to lift up the little boy on the ground with the other. The little boy cried and scratched, and kept patting his grandma\’s neck and face with his little hands. In fact, the little boy\’s mother was also there, but she did not educate her child about this rude and willful behavior. She just said in a flattering tone: \”Okay, if you don\’t cry, mom will buy it for you.\” This mother may not have realized that a child who attacks grandma has neither the etiquette nor a grateful heart. . Just because a child is young and ignorant does not mean that he or she can be indulged indefinitely. On the contrary, the younger and less sensible the child, the more he needs guidance and education from his parents, and the more he needs to understand propriety and etiquette. Sarah Imas has a legendary story of successfully raising three children, which is the envy of many parents. She once wrote a book called \”Extremely Cruel, Extraordinary Love\”, which tells how she, in the face of adversity, made her children, who had nothing but clothes and food to eat, realize their dream of being rich in the world before they were 30 years old. Sarah wrote this passage in the book: \”The love that Chinese parents give their children is not too little but too much. They can\’t bear to let them experience the hardships of life from an early age, and they don\’t know how to ask for it at the right time. This ultimately leads to Children will have a hard life, and they will demand from them all their lives! \”Every parent should love his children. But many times, parents spend their whole lives working hard, and what they get in return is not gratitude, but white-eyed wolves who feel at ease. Filial piety comes first among all good deeds. The greatest achievement of a family is to raise a child who knows how to be grateful. They like to negotiate terms and will not act without rewards. Many children like to bargain with their parents and make various terms. Some parents take it for granted and think it won\’t be a big problem; others are choking while compromising. When your child starts to negotiate terms with you, do you compromise or refuse? Your child\’s future is hidden in your attitude and answers. Just because a child likes to make conditions does not mean that the child is disobedient. Children who like to make conditions are not caused by bad learning, but by the wrong guidance of parents step by step. You know, every time you give in, your children will feel that you have no bottom line, and they will naturally become more aggressive. The conditions mentioned by the child should be treated differently, and not all conditions must be met. Research on child psychology shows that many conditions proposed by children to their parents are \”tentative\”. That is to say, the conditions proposed by the child are sometimes not what he really wants, but just testing the parents\’ bottom line. The child said I would play for a while longerHe would do his homework again, and if his parents didn\’t obey, he would behave badly. So, in order to keep things peaceful, his parents chose to compromise. The child wants to eat while watching TV, but the mother says no, and the child refuses to eat if she refuses to watch. Many mothers are always thinking that their children are hungry, so they serve food and put the TV on for the children to eat. After a few rounds, the bottom line of the parents is Gradually broken by children. If parents have no bottom line for their children\’s requirements, they will definitely find themselves in the dilemma of bargaining with their children for everything. Therefore, if you love your children, you must stick to the bottom line of being a parent and cannot give in unprincipledly. Educate your children to stick to their positions and principles when they should, so as not to be swayed by their conditions. Only by synchronizing our love for our children with our rules can we ultimately raise good children. Living a sloppy life and having a good habit of procrastinating can change a person\’s destiny and determine a person\’s life. Psychologist William James once said: \”Sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny.\” Children develop bad habits ,very easy. Once a child develops a sloppy and procrastinating lifestyle, it will be very difficult to change if not corrected in time, and may even last a lifetime. Educator Ye Shengtao said: The essence of education is to cultivate habits. What widens the gap between children is often not IQ, but the various habits developed since childhood. In 1978, Nobel Prize winners from all over the world gathered in Paris. A reporter asked Kapitsa, the physics prize winner, \”Where do you think you learned the most important things in your life?\” he said. : \”I personally feel that the most important stage in life is not in university or in the laboratory, but in kindergarten.\” He continued, \”Here, I learned a lot, such as not taking things that are not yours. ; Wash your hands before meals and take a rest after meals; do what you promised others; put things back where you took them…\” The early childhood stage is the best time for habit cultivation. As long as a person develops good habits, Will benefit for life. Good kids can be managed, but naughty kids can be spoiled. Professor Li Meijin once said: \”Before the child is 6 years old, it is a very important period for character development. If some problems are not solved, parents will no longer be able to take care of them later.\” As the saying goes: \”To spoil a child is like killing a child\”, spoiling a child is not Love them, but harm them. Parents must pay attention to these four behaviors of their children.
You are Here
- Home
- Parenting knowledge
- School age
- Don’t indulge these 4 problems in your children. The older they grow, the harder it will be to correct them.