Don’t love your children too much. Love with boundaries is better for the parent-child relationship.

Soviet educator Makarenko once said: \”Give everything to your children, even sacrificing your own happiness. This is the most terrible gift that parents can give to their children.\” Many parents will give their children extremely heavy love, even at the expense of themselves. This is a way to reflect the weight of this \”love\”. The author believes that this is an undesirable way of getting along with parents and children. Recently, a photo posted by a parent on the Internet saying \”Mango meat belongs to children, I only deserve to eat mango core\” has aroused the attention and discussion of netizens. Some people say that this is self-motivation, while others say that the result of parents doing this will either make their children selfish or have low self-esteem. Re-examining this matter, what are the emotions and subtexts behind it? In fact, parents can express their love for their children more wisely, and the relationship between parents and children can be more open and equal, which is truly beneficial to the growth of their children. In sacrificial parenting, parents\’ needs are often ignored and children\’s needs are over-satisfied. Over time, this can easily lead to two results: First, parents\’ self-sacrifice makes children feel guilty and think about how to repay their parents\’ sacrifice and dedication. , thus carrying a heavy psychological burden; the second is to make children become self-centered, take whatever their parents have given for granted, deserve it, and have no sense of gratitude. It is a parent’s instinct to want their children to be happy, and it is also a child’s instinct to want their parents to be happy. If parents and children can \”love each other with boundaries\”, then under the nurturing of love, the needs of parents and children can be met, each other\’s personalities will be independent, and each other\’s hearts will be full. The latest and most complete 2023 [Kindergarten, Junior High and High School] premium VIP course catalogs from famous teachers in various disciplines on the entire network, click to view now! Chen Xingjia, the national outstanding county party secretary, recorded such a story in \”Life Notes\”: When he was a child, he found that his mother often ate while standing up, and always explained that \”eating while standing makes the stomach feel better.\” Later, Chen Xingjia, who is good at observing, discovered that his mother\’s habit of eating while standing had nothing to do with her intestines and stomach. The main reason was that the family was in a difficult situation at that time, and there were not many good things such as vegetables, fish, and meat. With the distance between dishes, children can naturally eat more good things. Chen Xingjia\’s mother silently expressed her love for her children through actions, and did not deliberately use self-sacrificial gestures to make her children feel burdened. This kind of white lie gained the children\’s heartfelt respect and love. Another person who received as much attention as the \”mango photo\” was a college student who cursed his father online. The reason is that his father used his scholarship to pay the tuition. In this college student\’s view, the scholarship is earned by himself and should be at his disposal. Since parents have raised children, they should pay for their children\’s tuition. What’s even more shocking is that this post actually received a lot of likes below. Although the family education background of this college student is unclear, if a child insults his parents in public, no matter what the reason, it should be a failure of family education. In fact, many \”white-eyed wolves\” are spoiled by their parents themselves. Many parents think that if they give their children special privileges or make them completely child-centered, their children will reciprocate.plum. But in fact, when a person treats privilege as a daily routine, he will take it for granted. There is a term in social psychology called \”Berber\’s Law\”, which means that after a person has experienced strong stimulation, the stimulation applied will become insignificant. There is an old saying in China that is very true, which is \”a rice makes a good friend, a rice brings a hatred\”. Many parents have always wondered how their children who have raised them through all kinds of hardships have become enemies. As everyone knows, spoiling a child without a bottom line will not make the child more loving, but will only make the child take care for granted. This is human nature. Similarly, when all sacrifices require rewards in some form, for example, some parents like to say \”I have given everything for you, you should listen to me.\” This will only create a gap between parents and children or push the children away. Getting further and further away. All in all, when parents love their children, please don’t love them too much. Please give your children love with boundaries. While loving your children, you must also love and respect yourself. This is not only for the sake of a harmonious parent-child relationship, but also a reasonable and reasonable relationship. The education of children’s love.