Don\’t use material rewards to stimulate children to do housework, otherwise…

During the Chinese New Year, I had afternoon tea with my cousin. When we talked about daily parenting topics, my cousin suddenly asked me with a helpless look: \”You said, if your children help with housework at home, should you reward them with pocket money or other material rewards? My daughter Yesterday, she helped me with my rice bowl and actually asked me for 10 yuan. She said that her good friends from kindergarten would get pocket money for doing housework at home…\” This reminded me of a \”similar incident\” in my elementary school. At that time, I saw a Barbie doll in the supermarket and thought it was very beautiful. I wanted to buy it home. But my pocket money was not enough, so I said to my mother: \”Mom, I will help you sweep the floor for a week. Can you buy me this Barbie doll?\” My mother rejected me on the spot, and she was very serious. Criticizing me: \”We are all family members. If the floor is dirty, you are fully obliged to clean it. Why should you get extra rewards? For a moment, I was speechless. Looking back now, using material things to clean it up Rewarding children for doing housework will actually lead them into the misunderstanding that \”housework should be done by parents\” and \”everything I do needs extra praise and rewards.\” I said to my cousin: \”I can\’t give this 10 yuan.\” , you have to tell your children that there is no relationship between pocket money and housework. Housework is supposed to be done by everyone together. No one pays our parents to do the housework, right? If you don’t have enough pocket money, or if you particularly want to buy a toy, you can bring it up directly instead of using it as a condition for negotiation. \”There are too many parents around us who, in order to please their children to \”eat more,\” use all kinds of candies, chocolates, and mobile phones that their children like as \”exchanges.\” As everyone knows, these \”inducements\” will gradually disappear over time. The initial effect, and why the children don’t like to eat, is the food not to their liking or not delicious enough? Few parents pay close attention to these. Especially the elderly help to take care of their children. Because of the relationship between generations, the elderly Once you find that your child has eaten too little, he will feel distressed and anxious, so he will say something like \”Baby, eat this bowl of rice, and grandma will take you to the supermarket to buy candy/toys right away.\” \”The conditions are met. But the disadvantage of this is: once a child discovers that this is an adult\’s \”tactic\” against him, he will definitely be hurt in his heart and feel that the adult does not love him or believe in him at all. Every child starts from the moment he is born , slowly learned to raise his head, the proud smile when he successfully turned over for the first time, the first time he could sit alone for a few seconds, the first time he could crawl, the first time he stood alone, the first time he let go of his parents\’ hands and walked alone… …In fact, it is a process in which they are becoming independent and growing. When we always wonder if we have not spent enough time with our children, the love we have given our children is not enough, and we are worried about the lack of security for our children, We have neglected it. In fact, the contribution of children in the family is also part of establishing their sense of security. For example, many adults would rather work hard to feed themselves than give their children the opportunity to eat alone. Because they feel that they need to change their clothes if they are soiled. , it is more troublesome to clean the floor again when it is dirty, so we might as well feed it ourselves. For example, when a child says he wants to pour water for himself, we always say no because we are afraid of making it dirty.Wet clothes are afraid of causing extra trouble for ourselves, so we do the work for the children again and again… For example, we don\’t let the children help carry the bowls (for fear of breaking them), wipe the table (for fear of getting dirty the more they wipe)… You see, the children obviously Maybe during the sensitive period of housework, when interest in doing housework is extremely high, we reject their enthusiasm time and time again. We seem to be \”helping\” them, but in fact we are using our actions to hint to our children: You are still young and will definitely mess up, so let me help you. But later, when they gradually got used to having us do everything for them, we began to dislike our children for being \”too lazy\” and \”not independent enough.\” Our needs for them have changed again. We hope that they will become more diligent, be able to \”help\” us, and be able to \”understand\” us. How can we make children work hard quickly? Incentives… Looking back, if we had not rejected their enthusiasm, we would not have thought they were \”a disservice\” and would not have regarded them as a \”little trouble\”. For example, when they offer to help us wash the dishes, we don\’t drive them away, but let them try. If their clothes get wet, can they just change into another one? Even if you just pour the dishwashing liquid for us? So now, maybe your child is the hardest-working one among the people around him. \”Protect\” your child\’s sensitive period of housework! Whether he wants to put on his own socks, mop the floor by himself, wash the dishes by himself, or help his mother put potted flowers on the living room table, it is because they really want to feel these things during this period, and once they participate, they will bring Children must have a full sense of happiness and the experience of being \”valuable\”. Let children have the subjective initiative to do housework, because doing housework with parents is a kind of happiness that cannot be exchanged for any material rewards!