Don’t your children want to poop in kindergarten? If you know this, you won\’t be so anxious.

After Jie Zhe finished school, he met a young mother who lived upstairs and had just received her daughter for kindergarten. We walked home together. When talking about her child\’s situation in kindergarten, she told me a very troublesome thing. Her daughter entered kindergarten in September this year. She is almost four years old and is considered older in the class. Before entering kindergarten, adults do not need to worry about children urinating or defecating at home. They only need help wiping up after defecating. But since entering the kindergarten, the child wets his pants every now and then and never poops in the kindergarten. One afternoon after she picked up her daughter, before she had taken a few steps, her daughter crossed her legs and said anxiously, \”Mom, I want to poop, I can\’t hold it in anymore.\” Seeing that there was no bathroom nearby, I had to find a secluded corner, spread the plastic bag on the ground, and let my daughter pull it in the bag. The situation was extremely embarrassing. After my daughter finished defecating, she said, \”Mom, the stinky smell after defecation was so good that I\’ve been holding it in for a whole day.\” Afterwards, she asked her daughter that if she wanted to poop in the kindergarten, she could go to the bathroom next to the classroom, so why did she have to hold it in? The daughter remained silent. After that, I still wet my pants from time to time and still refused to poop in the kindergarten. During this time, she discovered that her daughter had gone from having a bowel movement once a day to once every two days or even every three days. As long as her daughter doesn\’t poop at home, she will ask the teacher on WeChat, and the answer she always gets is that the child didn\’t poop in school. She felt that her daughter must be holding in the stinky smell all the time, so that she was a little constipated. In this way, her daughter\’s urination and defecation problems became a concern for her. She couldn\’t understand why her daughter\’s bowel movements deteriorated after entering kindergarten. Why do children have to go home with a bad smell? My neighbor\’s mother\’s distress is not unique. This kind of behavior of \”Don\’t let the fat go to other people\’s fields, and you must go home to poop\” is a behavior that many children in kindergarten have. I once heard a mother say that because her baby refused to defecate in the kindergarten, one day he couldn\’t hold it in and pooped his pants in front of the class. Maybe some children laughed at him, so he refused to go to the kindergarten the next day. , I was dragged there crying all the way, and I was in a bad mood for several days. Speaking of which, why are some children so resistant to using the toilet in kindergarten? Not yet familiar with the environment Before children go to kindergarten, they spend most of their day at home. Home is the most familiar and secure place for them. Going to kindergarten means that children have to leave their familiar environment and relatives and stay alone in a completely unfamiliar place for a long time. This is quite a challenge for many children. Children have different personalities and experiences, and their ability to adapt to the environment is also different. Generally speaking, children who go out frequently and have the opportunity to be exposed to various new environments will adapt to the environment faster. But even children who often go out to play have family members by their side. They can feel a sense of security and can eat, drink, and defecate smoothly. Going to kindergarten means that children have to go through a process of establishing a sense of security and order in the new living environment. During this process, it is normal for children to behave abnormally. They are often so busy observing their surroundings that they forget to take care of their own physiological needs in a timely manner. When Zhe, a student who still couldn’t fully adapt to the rules, was more than 3 years old, we helped him switch to an English learning institution.Zhou Du sent him to study for a day. He also peed his pants when he first came to class. Chatting with him before going to bed at night, I slowly confirmed the process of him peeing his pants. It turned out that the teacher asked the children to go to the toilet before class and said that they could not move around during class. However, he felt that he did not want to pee at that time, so he did not go. As a result, I wanted to pee in class, but when I remembered what the teacher said, I didn\’t dare to say I had to go to the toilet. I tried hard to hold it in, but I couldn\’t. Kindergartens will use some rules and order to restrain children\’s behavior and guide them to slowly develop good work and rest habits. Because they are not yet familiar with these rules, children often do things that are \”counterproductive\”. For example, because they want to abide by the rules, they end up peeing their pants; because they dare not ask for help from a teacher they are not familiar with, they hold in their poop and ask for help. Pull home again. \”Recognize\” the toilet Many children who are in the sensitive period of order will have an almost paranoid pursuit of the details of life. I once met a little girl in the elevator who was crying heartbrokenly. Her grandmother explained that because her mother usually combed her hair, today her mother was busy arranging things and her grandmother helped her braid her hair, which made her cry like this. Children have their own familiar toilet tools at home. When mothers encourage their children to use the toilet, they may choose some fancy small toilets to attract their children, such as the shape of a deer, a duck, or even a car or a small airplane. Compared with the toileting behavior itself, children\’s attention is attracted more to the toileting tools, and they even become dependent on the toileting tools. At this time, it is difficult for them to adapt to the new tools immediately. Many mothers who have their own \”little mysophobia\” find that their children suddenly become very clean when they are two or three years old. They are not happy with the little black spots on their hands. They have to walk around dirty things on the road and sit on the toilet when going to the toilet. Or if there is anything unclean around the squatty toilet, even just a little bit, it will put them off. This kind of \”little mysophobia\” is an extension of the child\’s order-sensitive period. In a similar situation, if you are not satisfied at all when painting, you will keep painting until you are satisfied; when you are building blocks, if the shape you built is damaged, you will Especially angry; when playing the game, you must play it the way you envisioned. At this time, there is no need to reprimand the children for \”having too many things to do.\” Just calm them down in time when they feel uncomfortable and tell them, \”It\’s okay, we can do it.\” It is the most effective way to guide your child to go to the toilet smoothly in kindergarten. Now that you know why your child doesn’t want to go to the toilet in kindergarten, do you feel less anxious? Every mother has gone through the stage of struggling with pooping and peeing. From choosing diapers to training to take off diapers, from choosing a small toilet to training to use a small toilet, and then to training to use the toilet outside when older, everything is tiring and tiring. But ultimately every child can handle their own potty issues, and as parents we just have to do the right thing at the right time. Let your children become familiar with the toilet tools in the adult world as early as possible. Regarding children\’s dependence on their own small toilets, a mother in the group once complained that her baby started using a very kawaii-looking car toilet when he was less than one year old. Learning to use the toilet went very smoothly. But when I was about two years old, I had to take the car toilet with me when traveling. If I didn’t take it with me,The child just refused to poop and refused to use the toilet outside no matter how much he was persuaded and educated. Later, the mother bought a simple children\’s toilet on the grounds that \”the baby has grown up and the car is too small to hold the baby\’s poop\”, and slowly guided the child to use it, and then he gradually adapted to a normal toilet . Some time before entering kindergarten, when taking your children out to play, you can also consciously guide your children to use the toilets and squatting toilets in public restrooms, so that they can fully experience and adapt to different toilet environments. When they arrive in kindergarten, they will not be familiar with toilets. It\’s too \”recognizable\”. Encourage children to ask teachers for help. For children, entering kindergarten is not only the beginning of collective life, but also the whole day\’s life being taken over by a \”stranger\”, and this \”stranger\” is the teacher. When facing unfamiliar people in an unfamiliar environment, children often dare not express their needs because of their timidity. There are also cases like student Zhe when he first changed English class. When the teacher reminded everyone to go to the toilet, he didn\’t go to the toilet. He wanted to pee but didn\’t dare to say it during class. He held it in but couldn\’t. Thinking about it, the child was very pitiful at that time. At this time, adult understanding and comfort are very important. You can tell your children to go to the bathroom as much as possible before going to class and empty the \”little bucket\” in their stomachs, which will make them feel more relaxed during class. If you feel like you want to go to the toilet during class, don\’t hold it in. You can tell the teacher quietly, because teachers are very willing to help children. You can usually talk to your children more about the teachers, help the children get familiar with the teachers as soon as possible, cultivate the children\’s dependence on the teachers, and let the children know that the teachers can take good care of them. In this way, even if their parents are not around, the children will feel safe and secure. If they need any help, they can ask the teacher for help without feeling embarrassed. If language guidance has little effect when playing situational games, you can try situational games. Many of Zhe’s habits were established through situational games. We will probably have a theme every week. After determining the theme, we will first explain the scene and some basic dialogues to the children, and then let the children play freely in the rest. I remember when he started going to the soothing class, we played many games on the topic of going to the toilet. It started with his favorite painting scene: He was painting and he suddenly felt like going to the toilet, so he raised his hand and said: \”Report, I want to go to the toilet!\” Me: \”It\’s still a big one. Small one?\” Him: \”Big one!\” Me: \”Okay, let\’s go to the toilet!\” Him: \”Okay, Mom.\” Pretending to go to the toilet… Me: \”Are you ready?\” Him: \”Okay. .\” Me: \”Then straighten your pants and wash your little hands!\” Him: \”Okay, Mom.\” Then came the class scene: I suddenly wanted to go to the toilet during class. There is also a game scene where I am playing games with children and suddenly want to go to the toilet. Of course, the collective toilet scene is indispensable. The teacher said that the children should go to the bathroom to pee, wash their hands, drink water… and so on. We have played such games on many topics such as using the toilet, shopping, getting lost with parents, making phone calls, etc. Through these games, children have learned to raise their hands to express when going to the toilet. When you buy something, you have to leave it to the cashier to pay. If you get separated from your parents, you have to stay put and wait.Wait, or ask for help from the uniformed staff who have remembered our mobile phone numbers. Situations will trigger habits. Help children establish situations in games, encourage them to develop the habit of expression, and help them overcome their fear of unfamiliar environments. Communicate frequently with teachers to understand your children\’s performance in kindergarten. Most kindergartens require regular drinking water and regular toilet use. In the early days of kindergarten, the habits that children have developed will have a process of running in and colliding with the kindergarten\’s norms. If you find that your child has any abnormalities when going to the toilet, you must communicate with the teacher in time to understand the circumstances under which the child wets his pants. Find out the reason with the teacher and help the child develop the habit of going to the toilet in advance. Don\’t hold it in until it\’s too late. Go before you get there. Protect your child\’s self-esteem and avoid emotional accusations: \”Why did you wet your pants again? Don\’t you know you have to go to the toilet to pee? You want to poop and you can\’t speak…\” Do these criticisms sound familiar? Young children have very limited mobility and understanding. These criticisms will not make them remember anything except making them nervous. Think about it when we were children, wouldn’t it be true that the more panicked and scared we were, the less likely we were to remember things? What\’s more, when it comes to going to the toilet, children are often really powerless due to their physical development. Compared with accusations full of negative emotions, comforting the child \”It\’s okay, let\’s deal with it\” and telling the child \”Next time we go to the bathroom earlier so we won\’t wet our pants\” will be more effective. Children over three years old already have a small self-esteem. Ridicule, abuse, and accusations can easily cast a shadow on the child\’s fragile self-esteem and are not helpful in solving the problem. Finally, I would like to remind everyone that the weather gets cooler in autumn and winter, and children sweat less than in summer. Subsequently, they urinate more than in summer, and the urge to urinate comes very urgently. If your child hasn’t wet their pants much all summer, but suddenly starts wetting their pants frequently in the fall, don’t worry, be patient and accompany them to continue to grow. As mentioned before, please believe that every child will eventually be able to solve their own toilet problems. .