Educating children and refusing to listen to reason?

In the process of educating their children, all parents may have tried to reason with their children. Even before the children can speak, some parents started to say to their children, \”What are you going to do in the future? What are the benefits of this?\” But after parents explain the truth to their children, do they really understand it? Did you really do that? Maybe many don\’t. Especially for older children, if you tell them, they will annoy you. The complete collection of potential development of children aged 0-6 years old and the cultivation of high EQ and high IQ babies is actually very difficult to educate children. So why do parents like to reason with their children? If it is unreasonable, how should parents educate their children? Parents are more than just reasonable. When children are very young, their self-awareness has not yet awakened and their understanding of the world is very little. At this time, parents are their authority, so they will be very well-behaved and obedient. Slowly, the child begins to have self-awareness and begins to have things he likes or dislikes. He will start saying no to things or things he doesn\’t like. In terms of the development speed of the human brain, the emotional brain is faster than the rational brain. So when we are young, some things are good for us, but children may not be willing to do them because they don’t like them emotionally. At this time, many parents will start to reason. For example, if a child is a picky eater, parents may say, \”A picky eater is not a good child\” or \”Only those who are not picky eaters will grow taller.\” The child may still be obedient at this time and will still do what the parents say. But after a child becomes more self-aware, he will be more insistent on his own ideas, and he will no longer listen to such words. What happens to the parents then? Many parents will start to induce, accuse, yell, or even beat him. If a parent cannot control his emotions and then hits or scolds him, venting his emotions on the child, the child will have negative emotional memories of the incident. The time of semantic memory is very short, and he may soon forget what you said. Emotional memory is long-term memory. If such negative emotional memory is often accumulated, the child may have an emotional reaction when it comes to homework. Educate your children to follow the trend. For example, when their children say they don’t want to do their homework now, many parents will reason with their children and say that if they don’t do their homework, they will be criticized by the teacher tomorrow. Some parents may not be reasonable and just urge and yell at them to do their homework. In fact, what is the child\’s true feeling at this time? Does he not know the consequences of not doing his homework? In fact, he might just feel a little tired and want to take a rest first. The feedback from parents and rational brain is that he should do his homework, while the feedback from his emotional brain is to rest first. What will his behavior be at this time? He must be trying to follow his mood. Even if he goes to do his homework under pressure from his parents, his efficiency is still very low. Although someone else is sitting at his desk, his mind may be filled with the cartoons he wants to watch or the fun things he had at school. In fact, adults will also have similar situations. For example, if your boss works overtime at short notice, and you are already feeling tired at this time, wouldn’t you find it annoying? Even if you are under pressure, you may not be in a good state and work efficiently when working overtime.It\’s also relatively low. Therefore, in the process of educating children, parents must follow the trend. Following what trend? Just give priority to paying attention to your child’s emotions. Whether it is cultivating children\’s abilities or habits, happiness is more important than usefulness. Because a person’s rational brain matures on average around the age of twenty-five. With the current state of development of a child\’s brain, it is difficult for his rational brain to directly influence his behavior, and his behavior will only follow his emotions. The true meaning of family education. Why do many parents often reason? In fact, a very important reason is that parents do not understand their children well and do not have a clear educational direction. Parents want to teach their children well, but cannot give targeted suggestions, so they can only talk about these correct principles. In fact, if you want to educate your children well, parents only need to do these five things: keep your emotions stable, accept everything about your children, encourage your children more, guide your children to reflect more, and lead by example yourself. Parents\’ emotional stability is the foundation of all family education. Emotional stability does not mean not losing temper. To truly achieve emotional stability, parents must learn to identify, vent, and express their emotions. Then parents must fully accept their children, accept their children\’s strengths, and also accept their children\’s bad parts. Many parents are anxious and want to control their children, but in fact they are unable to accept their children\’s shortcomings and deficiencies. If you want your children to do something well, parents must encourage them more. Even if the child cannot do it now, parents must firmly believe that the child can do it well, and then continue to encourage him. Slowly, your child will really become what you say he is. When reflecting on the beginning of a child’s growth, the core idea of ​​reflection is our “Four Golden Questions.” Reflection must allow the child to reflect on himself. Let the child speak out on his own where he did not do well and how to make adjustments, so that he will be more willing to accept it. Finally, lead by example. If you want your children to get into the habit of reading, parents must first pick up a book. Parents\’ setting an example not only sets an example for their children, but also creates a good atmosphere for their children. Reasoning has no educational effect. In the education process, parents must give priority to their children\’s emotions, because the development of the brain determines that children\’s behavior will first follow their emotions. If you want to educate your children well, it is enough for parents to do these five things: keep your emotions stable, accept everything about your children, encourage your children more, guide your children to reflect more, and lead by example yourself.