Effective communication skills with children? Try this

\”You Are Your Child\’s Best Toy\” When dealing with communication issues with children, control, laissez-faire, bribery, and threats are all commonly used methods by parents, but they are often counterproductive. What should be done specifically? Kimberly Braine, the author of this book and an American child education expert, believes that only \”emotionally guided\” parents can help their children identify emotions, express and communicate in appropriate ways, and thereby improve their children\’s communication skills. Below, we will share with you two aspects of the book: acknowledging one\’s own weaknesses and the correct \”posture\” of guidance. ① \”Admit your own weaknesses\” When you discipline your children, please ask yourself: \”Have I denied, ignored or belittled my children\’s feelings?\” \”Have I used negative consequences to intimidate or drive them?\” \”Have I used blows? How to teach children the right way?\” In daily life, we usually only focus on correcting children\’s bad behaviors, but ignore or even damage the parent-child relationship that is being built. Children often cannot understand our true intention of doing this, so they do not cooperate. So, what do you need to pay attention to if you want to communicate well with your children? 001 Be consistent with your words and deeds. In life, there will inevitably be moments when children cause us trouble. For example, a child accidentally breaks a cup, or spills water on the floor… If you suppress your anger and say \”It\’s okay\” to your child, If you act in anger, your children will notice the inconsistency between your words and deeds and be confused by this: \”Mom, are you angry? Your expression and movements don\’t look like you are happy.\” Only by maintaining unity in body language and words can you Let your children understand your true feelings and thoughts, which is the basis for effective communication. We often say that \”there are no disobedient children, only parents who cannot guide.\” The premise of guidance is that parents should first learn to self-examine and make timely corrections before discussing education methods, so as to achieve twice the result with half the effort. 002 \”Play a role model\” If you can\’t help but get angry with your child, don\’t escape or pretend that nothing happened, otherwise your child will refuse to admit your mistake like you. What is the correct approach? First of all, you should apologize to your children, point out your mistakes, share your mental state and subsequent feelings with your children, and ask for their forgiveness. Secondly, tell your children that everyone makes mistakes, and they should be brave enough to admit when they are wrong. Finally, ask them to point it out in the future if they notice we have done something wrong. Doing so can help children face the imperfections of the world, guide them to carefully appreciate the feelings of others and themselves, and improve their keen insight. ② \”The correct \”posture\” of guidance\” After dealing with the adult\’s problems, you can provide \”emotional guidance\” to the children according to different situations. The following are four specific and practical methods: 001 Sow the seeds. Children are not polite when visiting other people\’s homes, and refuse to leave when they go to the store to buy toys… If you want to prevent such incidents, you must let your children know in advance what will happen in specific situations and what your requirements are for them. What. Children are more likely to cooperate if the requirements are known in advance. For example, if you plan to take your child out to eat in the evening, tell your child in the morning: \”I\’m going to a restaurant for dinner tonight. Remember not to go there.\”You can\’t run around and yell. \”A simple reminder can prepare the child and know what not to do. Then you need to remind the child again on the way and before entering the store, let the child repeat it, let him deepen the impression and abide by the rules. 002 Feel the wind and rain. When the child is emotional , or when he behaves badly, you are most needed to accept and respond to his feelings. For example, when a child cries because of other people\’s bad words, there are two ways to deal with it: convince the child to ignore others, and admit and accept his emotions. .For example: “Mom, you know you feel uncomfortable when people say you are fat, right? There is no need to be angry with others, because no matter whether you are fat or thin, you are my mother’s favorite baby. \”Speaking like this can help the child expand his emotional vocabulary, and he will know that this feeling is called anger. Help the child judge his emotions and soothe him. Over time, he will know how to deal with his emotions. 003 Water in time. When the child encounters difficulties, When you are in a mood, because you don’t know how to ask for help, you will often scream or complain to attract the attention of adults. What parents have to do is very simple, which is to teach their children to say the word \”help\”. You can tell him: \”Mom is here. If you need help, let me know anytime. \”This kind of reminder will let them know to come to you when they need it. Give your children more emotional guidance and lend a helping hand in time, and your children will dare to ask for help. 004 \”Free\” growth. Parents usually default to their children as weak, so they feel ordered It is natural, but respect is the best encouragement for children: first express sympathy to the child, and then provide him with the opportunity to choose, so that he feels that he can participate in the decision-making. When the child is playing, you directly order him to take a bath, You will definitely encounter resistance. At this time, you should say to him: \”Baby, it\’s bath time. Would you rather take a toy to the bath, or not?\” \”Let the child make some decisions on his own, and his resistance will weaken. To sum up, while educating children, parents must also learn to self-reflect, and at the same time provide emotional guidance in advance, teach children to identify emotions and regulate emotions, including the parent-child relationship. and lay a good foundation for your child\’s growth.