Either you accompany me, or your child is satisfied with your company.

There is a picture that once hit the circle of friends. Indeed, it is easy to understand the difference between accompanying and accompanying. This is the topic we are going to talk about today. Is he satisfied with spending time with his child every day? It is easy to see such a scene when you are addicted to browsing your mobile phone and neglect to communicate with your children when you take Liuliu out to play. \”Mom, look, look, I built a castle!\” In the playground, a little girl happily asked her mother to see her results, but where was her mother? He raised his head and said to the child in a coping manner: \”Wow, honey, you are awesome!\” Then he lowered his head and continued to browse the phone. His eyes did not pass over the tall castle, and he did not see the child\’s disappointed expression. When many parents take care of their children, their focus cannot be separated from their mobile phones. Take photos and post them to Moments, then reply to comments and chat. You are obsessed with communicating with others in the virtual space, but you ignore your children’s desire to share and interact. No matter how long this kind of companionship lasts, the child will still be dissatisfied. Intervening too much in the child\’s movements is somewhat accommodating, even if you always interact with the child, it is still overkill. We have also seen many such scenes. The child is playing well and stuffing some fruit into it; the child is concentrating on reading a picture book, but the parents insist on pointing to the excitement they are paying attention to and ask the child to read; accompanying the child to build building blocks without waiting for the child I set it all up easily by myself. OK, after a while the child becomes bored or gets into trouble, but we still don’t know what mistake we made. \”Don\’t you want me to play with you? Why do you lose your temper even though I play with you? What do you want?\” In fact, it is our excessive intervention that affects the child\’s rhythm. The negative emotions are too great and I am angry at my children. I have seen some mothers complaining and complaining more than once when taking care of their children. Although they take care of their children in every detail, they always say: \”Why are you so unbehaved? I have to work hard for you.\” No more, can\’t you worry less?\” \”If you keep making trouble, I won\’t pay attention to you.\” \”I\’m working very hard, can\’t you be more obedient?\” Indeed, mothers all have their own worries, When you don\’t have enough energy, your mood will not be calm enough, and you will inevitably lose your temper easily. We are not opposed to expressing our joys, sorrows and joys to our children, but there is one thing – do not take our anger out on our children. It is the child\’s problem, and we try to guide him patiently. It is not the child\’s problem, so how can we transfer our anger? Children are so innocent. Many times, they are just expressing their needs and needing our response. She always says how much she loves her children, but she always loses her temper with them. Is this kind of companionship a warm expression of joy for children? of course not. High-quality companionship is more important than length of time. What kind of companionship do children like best? Naturally, the quality of companionship is the most important. But what kind of companionship is high-quality companionship? Play around the house with her, or read picture books with her, or play with toys together, do hand-painting with her, etc.? There is no unified answer to this question. It may be multiple choice or single choice. The reason is simple. Every child has a unique soul, and not all companionship methods are suitable. The first step we need to take is to understand your child’s preferences. My emotional friend L once talked to me about the preferences of children at different ages.It\’s different. Her child is almost 2 years old. Before they were 1 and a half years old, their company was a peaceful one. Playing soothing music, she sat on the sofa and read a book, played with toys on the child\’s floor mat, came over from time to time to ask for attention and a hug, and then started other explorations in the house. But after one and a half years old, her baby\’s needs obviously changed. She couldn\’t do anything well because the child would insistently pull her to do various things. If she doesn\’t respond promptly enough, a child who hasn\’t been a crybaby since childhood will burst into tears. Investigating the root cause, this sudden change of painting style is not without reason, but because the child\’s emotions, abilities, concerns, etc. have changed. For example, before he was one and a half years old, he was very novel about many things, and these novel explorations were enough to satisfy him. After one and a half years old, his perspective changed even more. For example, he wanted to reach something high but couldn\’t, so he asked his mother to help him take it down. At this time, the companionship that the child needs is not for the mother to watch him move, but to solve problems for him. Therefore, only by understanding what your children want can you better achieve high-quality companionship. The different companionship styles of mom and dad cannot be absent. In fact, we can all feel that when children get along with dad, they are in a different state with mom. For example, Liuliu, Liuliu\’s father has always insisted on the policy that his children should play when they are young. So when I was with Liuliu, there was no entertainment or preaching at all. The father and son just played like crazy together. An old kid with a little kid could tear down the house. When Liuliu and I get along, we have more intimate interactions and communication. I will also use some simple games to give her some cognitive training. For example, when we go to the supermarket together, I will ask her to help me find some things I need to buy. This not only trains her awareness of colors, objects, and shapes, but also allows her to participate in life. Sometimes when she comes home after shopping, she will take the things to Dad Six and proudly say: \”I got this for mom.\” The infiltration of every detail of life will make the children feel that we are a close family. people. The father\’s companionship is even more indispensable in the child\’s life. Under the guidance of the father, the child will fully develop another side of his personality and gain more happiness. No matter what style of companionship it is, it all lies in participating in the child\’s world and integrating the child into our lives.