Essentials of the most effective communication skills with children! But 99% of parents are wrong

As the saying goes: \”Respect is the first bridge of communication.\” In society, this is how you should behave. In the family, communication with children should be based on respect. \”Bad\” parents always believe that respecting their children is the most sincere expression of parental love. In this society, everyone needs respect, including children. What we need to know is that every child is an independent individual. We must face up to their existence, understand their wishes, see their efforts, appreciate their \”achievements\”, and encourage them to dare to safeguard their legitimate rights and interests. Encouraging children is the greatest respect for children. The most important issue that children are concerned about when growing up is respect. Adults must respect their rights to survival and development. As the main members of contemporary family education, parents must truly \”learn to respect and be good at communication\” in order to become excellent educators and parents with absolute affinity. Let us look at the following example, which is a mother\’s narration: Once, I encountered such a thing in the garden of the community: several children were jumping with rubber bands, and one of the children seemed to be moving. She was not very skilled and was obviously no match for her companions. She was bullied a few times by her companions, but the child did not react at all and was having fun. Later, his mother shouted loudly and scolded her: \”Why are you like that?\” Stupid! Your dancing is too bad. I don’t want to dance anymore. Come on, come back with me!\” She reached out and tried to pull her child, which made the child particularly embarrassed. Her happy little face suddenly turned pale. I came down and stood there in a daze. I couldn\’t stand watching anymore. I stepped forward and grabbed the mother and told her: \”She will lose face if you reprimand her in front of her peers like this.\” Look. After considering the above examples, let\’s take a look at what \”bad\” parents do. They object to parents reprimanding their children in front of others with unpleasant words such as \”unsatisfactory\”, \”idiot\”, and \”worthless\”, because this It will deeply hurt the child\’s self-esteem. As a parent, it is too late to protect the child\’s fragile heart. Why should you be the one who rushes to hurt the child first? Respecting children is the basis for parents to truly establish a good relationship with their children. So, how do \”bad\” parents respect their children and let their children truly feel their parents\’ love? First, \”bad\” parents strive to respect their children\’s rights. For example, children have the right to play, and we must meet their needs for play and let them grow healthily in free play; children also have the right to serve themselves, such as dressing and eating, which are survival skills they must learn. Parents do not There should be no substitution if necessary; children still have the right to choose. Adults cannot impose their wishes on them, but children should be allowed to choose according to their own preferences. Children are also independent individuals. Parents must safeguard their rights, fully believe in their children\’s abilities, let them do what they should do, and respect their children\’s rights. This will have a profound and positive impact on the cultivation of their independence. of. Secondly, \”bad\” parents remind everyone that respecting their children\’s personal dignity is important to most people.Parents also need to pay attention. Don\’t underestimate children. Children have human dignity from birth. Don\’t ignore them just because they are young. We must put an end to the brutal behavior of perfunctory, blindly blaming, and arbitrary humiliation of children, let alone treating children as pets. Many parents are busy with work and always have time. Or they play with their children for a while when they are in a good mood. They also try to gain the upper hand over their children. When they are in a bad mood, they tease their children or use them to vent their anger. This is absolutely unfeasible. Over time, the child will know deeply in his heart that you disrespect him, which will create an insurmountable gap in the parent-child relationship between parents and children. Even children have human dignity. We must let them receive the respect they deserve from an early age. Only children who grow up in a respectful environment understand what respect is and how to respect others. Thirdly, \”bad\” parents also pay great attention to respecting the age characteristics of their children. As parents, we must understand the basic characteristics of children at each age and raise them in a way that suits them to provide the correct education. For example, being lively and active is a sign of healthy children. We should leave them enough space to move. We cannot ask our children to sit down quietly and watch TV or read with you just because we are quiet; children \” The characteristics of \”immaturity\” are very prominent, so we cannot demand that they understand problems like adults, and ask them to do things beyond their capabilities; children remember and forget quickly, and we cannot complain that they do not pay attention to their studies. Finally, as parents, we must respect the different personalities of each child. Every child is unique, and their distinctive personality traits are often very prominent. Therefore, we must respect the personality of each child, especially the differences between them, and avoid using the so-called \”excellent children\” as examples. Useless comparisons. Never say anything that compares your child with others. These are the poison that hurts your child\’s self-esteem the most. To see that children with different personalities have their own characteristics and advantages, we must learn to appreciate every child with an appreciative eye. Parents who appreciate their children are the smartest parents, because they master the strengths and advantages of their children. Only by teaching students in accordance with their aptitude can we lay a solid foundation for children\’s future success. Parents need to remember: 1. Parents should listen carefully to what their children want to express, especially when their children speak to you, and do not show impatience. 2. Make time to play and play with your children every week; don’t ignore your children because you are busy with work. 3. Discover the shining points of each child, learn to appreciate the child\’s talents, and praise your child appropriately. 4. Let the children do their own thing, including handling conflicts between children. 5. You must love your children as much as you love them, and love what your children love. Don’t think that your child’s world is too childish, and don’t worry about others saying you are immature. 6. Parents should encourage their children to have their own opinions and opinions. Don\’t tell them what is right and what should be done before they try it, but give them the right to try. That wayIt will give them a sense of accomplishment. 7. Allow children to have their own privacy, and do not look through their diaries, drawers, QQ chat records, emails, etc. for various reasons. 8. Parents should not interrupt their children\’s unfinished words casually. They should be patient with their children. Sometimes they should even try to listen to their children\’s opinions. Regardless of whether they are right or wrong, they should give their children the right to express themselves. In the final analysis, most \”bad\” parents understand very early that \”learning to respect\” is the first prerequisite for \”communication\”. Only when children learn to respect their children will they be willing to open up to their parents. Just imagine, who is willing to do so? What about communicating with someone who doesn’t even listen to you? But learning to respect does not mean knowing how to communicate. Communicating with children still requires certain skills and abilities. \”Bad\” parents believe that parents should first communicate with their children on an equal footing, provide their children with a trustworthy and unrestrained communication environment, learn to listen, learn to accept their children\’s perspectives, and consider issues from their children\’s perspective as much as possible , don’t deny your child’s ideas easily, let your child fully express them. Secondly, during the communication process, parents should try to capture and pay attention to their children\’s points of interest, and use this to arouse their children\’s interest in talking, so that their children can exchange as many views as possible with themselves. In communication, parents should also pay attention to their language arts, avoid empty preaching, and try their best to make their language vivid, easy to understand, and even use some popular terms that children are interested in. 1. Parents must not read their children\’s diaries, letters, computer emails, chat records, etc. in private. Facts have proved that this approach is not only ineffective, but also the \”number one sin\” of disrespecting children\’s privacy. It seems difficult for parents who do this to stand up, and they no longer have the confidence to discipline their children. 2. Children have a very sensitive period for privacy – adolescence, so smart parents will not interfere too much in their children\’s emotional world at this stage, but can learn to guide them from the side.