Every mother I sleep with is Dong Cunrui

I have been a mother for more than a year, and I have quite a lot of experience. Whether it is scientific feeding, growth and development, or the establishment of attachment relationships, I feel that I am great and can share a trivial and systematic article at any time. But being put to sleep alone is something that deeply frustrates my soul and cannot be ignored. So, when it comes to coaxing me to sleep, I somewhat evilly hope that all the babies in the world will be like my Dingdang – a little devil who can\’t be coaxed to sleep! At least in this way, I can shrug my shoulders and calmly comfort myself on the way to sleep with all my worries: \”What\’s the big deal? Babies all over the world are the same!\” When I was pregnant, I saw those posts complaining about babies having difficulty sleeping. I still thought, isn’t it just to put me to sleep? Isn\’t it just that after washing up, we get into bed together and tell the baby a story about Snow White and the dwarfs, and the loving mother and son slowly fall asleep, so easy! Now that I think about it, I am really stupid and naive. In the first few months after birth, things were fine. Putting her to sleep was nothing more than feeding her to sleep + putting her to bed. The little guy stayed in a soft ball hanging on his body while breastfeeding. After he was full, he started the bed mode. The moment I put it on the bed was so exciting, it was like defusing a bomb! He was careful and tiptoeing. It didn\’t matter how weird his posture was. He just begged the little ancestor not to wake up… He was afraid that the moment he put it down, all the previous efforts to detonate the bomb would be lost. Ask me what I hate most about being put to sleep? After the baby falls asleep, suddenly someone in the family opens the door or asks: Have you slept? At this moment, my bed can be overturned by you, believe it or not? When Dingdang was almost half a year old, Huang En suddenly began to fall asleep on his own! And the quality of sleep after falling asleep is extremely high, well, it’s the kind of complete sleep that lasts from 8pm to 8am. During that time, I really wanted to show off my face when I saw someone, for fear that others would not know that I had a sleeping angel in my family. As the old saying goes, children are not worthy of praise. Sure enough, after half a month of me complaining, Dingdang suddenly returned to the devil\’s ways, and even got worse. You must be held in your arms to sleep, and you don’t want to be held horizontally, you must be held upright! You can’t sit, you can only stand! Sometimes I just wonder, is the baby equipped with an altitude detection radar? The difference between standing and sitting is only a few dozen centimeters. How does he rely on to tell whether I am standing or sitting? The most miserable thing is to have to tremble all over, walk back and forth, and chant the hypnotic song: \”Mom, walk, walk, jingle, sleep, sleep, sleep…\” Holding a sleeping bag weighing nearly 30 kilograms of human flesh, he walked around the room 200 times. I feel very much like our people\’s hero: Dong Cunrui. Please click here to enter a picture description. This happens every night, neither useless nor disabled. What comforts me is: I finally saved money on the gym… My mother said that when children grow up, they will naturally fall asleep. I felt that what the old lady said was really out of line. Dingdang’s road to sleeping is that the older he gets, the more eccentric he becomes, and soothing him to sleep becomes a combination of all kinds of coaxing, tricking, and torture. There are plan A, plan B, plan C, etc. Various cheating versions of Plan Z: ●Plan A coaxed Dingdang to \”be good, baby, lie down, and mommy will massage and sing to the baby.\” Then I started singing hypnotic songs endlessly, starting from \”Twinkle Twinkle Little St.\”ar\” to \”Counting Ducks\” and then to \”Waiting Once in a Thousand Years\”… The roar often hurts the throat, and the little guy still rolls on the bed with his round eyes open, or suddenly sits up and points at the early education machine. Whenever you shout \”Listen!\”, you will instantly feel like you are being amnested by the world. ●Plan B has a trick and a big move after Dingdang perseveres in resisting sleep uprising – pretending to be dead. First, I reported to the young master, \”Mom is sleepy, mom will go to bed first.\” Then he lay down and started a drama of \”123, don\’t move, we are all Qiu Shaoyun\”. Inevitably, the consequences of this are usually painful physical torture. Even a slap on the face is considered light. I just climb up and ride on the belly while jumping up and down. Hey, mom is not awake yet? Picking my nose, pinching my mouth, pulling my hair, and doing whatever I could. During the whole process, I had to recite silently several times: \”When someone is given a great task from heaven, he must first suffer from hardship, starve his body, and deplete his body…\” before I could finish the walk with determination. Throughout the whole process, whether the young master can sleep or not depends entirely on luck. ● The bedtime story about plan C that will kill you must be told. As a reading promoter, I have always regarded it as an honorable task to help my son develop good reading habits. It’s just that the bedtime story scene in my fantasy is a baby sitting in my arms, a mother loving her son, and a warm and cozy scene, but the truth is always so tough and bloody. After washing my buttocks and changing into pajamas every day, I would act like a little bandit, flipping through the bookshelves here and there, patting them, and then I would hand-pick about 20 books and move them all to the bed without any delay. Start talking one by one, talk about spit flying, talk about dry mouth, and the process of vomiting blood in the middle, you can make up your own mind. Fortunately, after a lot of hard work, the boy was finally able to read quietly by himself for more than 20 minutes…●When there are many plans It is completely a super complex system project! For example, in Plan A, I got up and wanted to read a book before singing \”Counting Ducks\”. In Plan B, I saw my mother still awake and started to cry. In Plan C, I wanted to drink water and eat in the middle of the chat… Mr. Liu and I Only in ABCDEFG, countless trials and errors and countless continuations can bring the little guy down. By the time he falls asleep, the two of them will be exhausted! I want to sleep until dawn from now on and dream! I don’t dare to forget that Dingdong is still a sleeper who wakes up countless times at night. I am now in the sentinel stage, and I will immediately raise my breasts when there is any movement… I remember a friend said that now I use such a private part of my breasts every day, and I feel like I am rich. This young lady is now reduced to being a servant for a wealthy family. Moreover, this is not over yet, there is still Dong Cunrui bombing the bunker waiting for us early the next morning…