Excellent children are all \”accompanied\”. These 4 golden rules can be used by parents during the summer vacation.

Psychology professor Gilbert said: \”Ten years later, you will not regret not doing one less project, but you will regret not spending an extra hour with your children.\” If the money is gone, you can still earn it, but if you miss the time, you will regret it. It really couldn\’t be more difficult to make up for. When Bai Yansong, a famous CCTV host, talked about whether he would let his children live in school on a previous program, he said categorically: \”I would not let my children live in school even if it kills me, even if my wife and I would have a hard time doing it.\” , such as picking up and dropping off in the morning and evening, etc., may require a lot of effort, but isn\’t that what life is like? \”A child\’s growth is a one-way road that cannot be turned back. If parents cannot provide timely companionship, not only will the original close parent-child relationship become unfamiliar, It will also erase the possibility of the child changing for the better. The influence of teachers on children is always limited, and parents are the first persons responsible for their children\’s education. Good children are brought out through supervision, and outstanding children are brought out through companionship. Only when family education plays its role can children grow up healthier and better. The truly outstanding children are all born with the help of their parents. An educational institution in the United States once conducted a survey on the topic of \”What factors contribute to children\’s high scores on learning ability tests.\” They were surprised to find that IQ, social conditions and even economic status were not the most important influencing factors. The most influential factor was the company of their parents. All children with high scores often had dinner with their parents. There is a saying: \”Every child has the potential to become an outstanding person. It is the different daily education of parents that gives children a different life.\” Liu Yong, an educator known as the \”Chinese Tutoring Model\”, raised a pair of Very good children. His son, Liu Xuan, has a Ph.D. in psychology from Harvard University. He is also a top student at the Juilliard School of Music and won the overall championship in the second season of the variety show \”I Am a Speaker.\” Daughter Liu Yifan won the U.S. \”President\’s Award\” at the age of 14. At the age of 18, she was admitted to Columbia University with first place results. Three years after graduation and working, she was admitted to the world\’s top Wharton Business School with a full scholarship. Talking about his parenting experience, Liu Yong said bluntly: \”The most important thing in family education is companionship. From childhood to adolescence, we must accompany the children to share happy times, laugh with them, and grow together.\” No matter how busy he is at work, he will try his best to Make time to spend more time with your children. When my son first arrived in the United States, he felt very uncomfortable and was often laughed at by the children around him. As a result, he became introverted and rebellious. In order to help his son get out of this predicament as soon as possible, Liu Yong often took him to play in the wild, dig insects, grow vegetables, and let him do physical work such as carrying soil. In addition, the father and son often compete in long jump, running, pitching, etc., to cultivate their son\’s resilience to never admit defeat or get discouraged. With his company, his son gradually became cheerful and confident, and gradually began to communicate with others. When accompanying his daughter, Liu Yong is even more gentle. He would put makeup on his daughter and play house with her; when his daughter practiced the piano, he would hold up the sheet music as a music stand; he would take his daughter to do scientific experiments to cultivate her interest in learning… In this way, with his father\’s company, the two A child becomes independent, optimistic and confident. As the British educational thinker Thomas Arnold said: \”Parents\’ words and deeds areHe is a child\’s silent teacher, a conscious or unconscious role model, and plays a powerful and subtle role. \”Parents are their children\’s first teachers. Children spend most of their time at home from kindergarten to graduation from middle school. This period is the most critical period for cultivating their outlook and shaping their character. Parents You must first become who you want your children to be. There is no more effective way of education than parents’ words and deeds. Parents who love reading can cultivate children with broad vision; parents who like sports can cultivate children with broad vision. Children who are healthy will be born; parents who know how to communicate will cultivate confident and optimistic children; parents who insist on self-discipline will cultivate independent and strong children. Raising children is like planting a tree. When the seeds are buried in the soil, they only rely on themselves. It is impossible to grow without the \”company\” of sunshine, rain, dew and air. Parents are like these three things to children. Only with the company of parents can children grow up healthy and healthy. The \”White Paper on Family Parent-child Companion\” shows such data: 49% of parents never participate in what their children are doing when accompanying their children, and 47.6% of parents do it \”part-time\”. When it comes to housework, 38.4% of parents often \”check Moments and scroll through Weibo.\” This kind of companionship lacks the flow of love and is just a \”formal companionship\” and is just a distraction to their children. Someone once said: \”Most children in China are \’orphans\’ with parents. Although their parents are with them, they do not convey the positive energy of inner psychological support. \”I once met a mother who was playing with her child in the community garden. The child was very lively and liked to explore the world. He kept climbing up and down, and from time to time he would find some interesting little things for him. Things, a beautiful leaf, a strange little insect… He really wanted to share this happiness with his mother, but her mother just lowered her head and played with her mobile phone. The occasional response was just a cold accusation: \”It\’s so dirty, don\’t touch those things.\” Or they agreed perfunctorily, \”Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.\” The mother and son stayed out all afternoon, but the child never really felt his mother\’s company for a minute. There is a concept in psychology called \”existential anxiety\”. It is the negative emotions caused by strong emotional neglect that are reflected in children, which means that when children cannot find a sense of presence from their parents and can only feel perfunctory and indifferent, they will feel lonely, helpless, and even feel uncomfortable. I am not loved. However, my parents always seem not to be aware of these problems, and even find \”seemingly reasonable\” reasons for themselves. In life, I often hear parents complain, \”I am so busy at work, where do I have time?\” \”I don\’t make money, will my child drink the northwest wind?\”, \”I\’m so tired, why can\’t I just play on my phone and relax\”… But as Derek Bok, the former president of Harvard University, once said: “If you think the cost of education is too high, try the cost of ignorance. \”No job can pay for a person\’s 24 hours, the only difference isIt depends on whether you pay attention to it or not. If you treat your children as an important job or a boss who needs to be maintained urgently, you can still find time no matter how busy you are. I have a colleague who leaves early and comes home late every day. He usually goes out before the children wake up and doesn’t get home until the children are asleep. But even though he was so busy, he never stopped spending time with his children. He specially made a \”family diary\” and asked the children to write down what they wanted to say, questions they wanted to ask, and things they wanted to know, and waited for him to answer them one by one when he got home. He will also write in his diary what he wants to share with his children and wait for their children’s “reviews”. In this way, although he and the child are not physically together, their hearts are still closely connected. He is involved in the children\’s learning gains and regrets, their emotional confusion and confusion, and their growth surprises and panics. \”Decoding Puberty\” says: \”Only when parents let their children feel sincerity can they gain their children\’s sincerity.\” Children are very sensitive, and they can easily detect whether you are attentive to your company. Even if they can\’t be with them all the time, as long as parents are willing to work hard, they can still be with their children. Education is time-sensitive, so cherish the time when parents can still play an educational role. Don\’t wait until your parents\’ \”expiry date\” has passed and then regret that you missed the best time to spend time with your children. Parents must master these four golden rules to keep their children healthy and confident. Author Rao Xueman said: \”Company is the best education for children, and education is just different ways of companionship.\” Parents must pay attention to the fact that companionship also requires methods. Low-quality companionship will not only be ineffective, but will also plunge the entire family into meaningless internal strife. High-quality companionship can not only make children feel loved, but also make the family atmosphere warm and harmonious. 1. Stabilizing emotions is the prerequisite for improving the quality of companionship. Psychologist Wu Zhihong said: \”Children are the receivers of parents\’ emotions. When parents are upset, children will immediately become alert. When parents relax, children will immediately feel happy.\” Parents. Being busy with work and exhausted every day, your emotions are naturally tense, like a powder keg about to explode. When facing naughty or disobedient children, they will explode if they are not careful, and it is easy to hurt the child\’s young mind during scolding. If things go on like this, children will become more and more timid and introverted at home, producing a lot of negative emotions, which will affect their physical and mental health. Therefore, parents must learn to control their emotions when getting along with their children. Think carefully before you explode. Isn\’t the reason why you work so hard every day just to give your children a better future? Then take good care of and accompany your child, and don\’t let him receive malice from his parents before he grows up. 2. Positive interaction is the bridge that builds the parent-child relationship. In the parenting world, there is a very interesting term called \”golden hour\”. That is, if parents can interact with their children an hour before going to bed, the effect will be doubled. This word is also applicable to other time periods, such as on the way to send children to school, on the way home from school, etc. Although the time is not long, it can play a good role in maintaining the parent-child relationship. It should be noted that: first,The content of the interaction should be something that the child likes and is interested in. For example, if you have encountered anything interesting or difficult, listen to the child’s thoughts. Do not rush to ask about the learning progress, which will cause the child’s desire to share to drop sharply. Secondly, the interactive process should be It is free of distracting thoughts, that is, parents must put down their mobile phones and less important things, concentrate on communicating with their children, and give positive feedback, so that this interaction can truly produce results. Parents must understand: high-quality companionship does not depend on the length of time, but on whether you are attentive. 3. Have an in-depth conversation and give each other the opportunity to fully understand each other. Jews have a special education method called \”Hivota\” education. It refers to the three focuses that parents need to pay attention to when chatting with their children, including listening and expressing, exploring and focusing, and supporting and challenging. In Jewish families, they designate every weekend as a family dinner day. At the dinner table that day, the important thing is not eating, but in-depth communication with the children. Just listen, don’t judge; just express, don’t blame; just reflect, don’t preach. Let children feel the unconditional love and support of their parents. We can also learn from this method and arrange a weekly or monthly family talk day according to our free time. On the day of heart-to-heart talk, parents and children speak freely, correct what they say, and encourage others if they don’t. They are sincere and candid, and trust each other. Only through truly in-depth communication can parents and children understand and consider each other. The best family education is always when parents and children grow into better people together. 4. Leave appropriate blank space to give children space for self-exploration American psychiatrist William. Goldfarb said: \”The most important thing in educating children is to treat them as equals to themselves and give them infinite love. The relationship between parents and children is like friends. This is a good medicine for the parent-child relationship. \”As children get older, it\’s normal for them to crave independence and their own space. But what is sad is that some parents are reluctant to let go either out of worry or want to control, leading to tension in the parent-child relationship and even tragedy. Parents must know how to think from others\’ perspective. Children are also independent people and have their own privacy. They also need to be respected and treated equally. In fact, learning to let go is very simple. Knock on the door when entering the child\’s room and wait for the child\’s consent before entering; do not rummage through the child\’s things at will; respect his right to make friends and allow him to hang out with friends; recognize his child\’s hobbies and don\’t just focus on learning… Give the child a comfortable environment The opportunity also gives each other a space to move forward and retreat freely. I really like the words of the Polish writer Sienkiewicz: \”If every child can have a gentle hand to guide him forward, instead of kicking him in the chest, then education can complete its tasks better. Mission. \”Parents are the destiny of their children, and their vision determines their children\’s future. While you still have time, spend more time with your children. Don\’t wait until everything is a foregone conclusion before lamenting that time was wasted. Light up \”Like\”, I hope all parents can master these 4 golden rules, make the parent-child relationship more harmonious, and let themselves and their children grow into better people together!