Excellent parents all know these 10 thinking parenting knowledge

After becoming a parent, I always long for a way to educate my children with high quality and efficiency while maintaining a close parent-child relationship. Einstein said: \”Problems at this level are difficult to solve by thinking at this level.\” This means: When we encounter a difficulty that cannot be solved, it is not that there is a problem with our ability or method, but that the source is wrong. . The same is true for family education. Recommended parenting books: Reviews of Zeng Guofan’s Family Letters pdf. Today I will share with you 10 source thoughts about education to help you achieve high-quality and efficient family education, a loving mother and a filial son. Self-discipline is the basic premise of parenting. \”When you have a child, you have endless things to worry about.\” This is the biggest feeling that many people have after becoming parents. Especially after children start to go to school, \”all the homework is done\” is a \”family drama\” that many families must perform every day. Why do children refuse to change despite repeated education? Because they educate their children to say one thing, but live another way in their own lives. While educating children, studying hard, and becoming successful; at the same time, I hold my mobile phone in my hands and have not turned a single book for many years. If a few words of truth could make a person\’s life successful, there wouldn\’t be so many children who make mistakes. The parent is the child\’s original, and the child is the parent\’s copy. \”Teaching by example\” is more important than \”teaching by words\”. How parents discipline themselves is far more important than how \”chicken-like\” they are. When raising children, educate yourself first, otherwise, 99% of education will be useless. Advantages are the leverage that shakes shortcomings. In the original work of \”The Human World\”, Zhou Zhigang went to the new home bought by Zhou Bingkun for the first time and said this: \”Since you were a child, your father has never praised you much. He is afraid that if you praise you, you On the contrary, you can\’t make a difference. It seems that dad is right. Today, dad will praise you in person, Bingkun, you have finally made a difference.\” In psychology, there is a term called \”Rosenthal effect\”, which means: as long as you are right If you have very strong expectations for something, what you expect will happen. Specific to family education, if parents can hold good expectations and believe that their children can do it, their children will not be too bad. However, too many parents, like Zhou Zhigang, are stingy in praising their children, as if their children are \”fragile\” and will become bad if they are praised. Only the children\’s shortcomings are in their eyes, and they are magnified infinitely with a \”magnifying glass\”. As everyone knows, the only thing that can truly inspire a person is to see his strengths. Counting ten pieces is not as good as rewarding one piece. If they want their children to do it, parents must first believe that their children can do it. The more advantages there are, the less disadvantages there will be. Now is the confidence to support the future. Evangelist Charles Spurgeon once said: \”Our worries will not take away the sorrow of tomorrow, but will only take away the strength of today.\” If you raise a child to be one hundred years old, you will often worry about ninety-nine. . Too many parents transfer their anxiety about their children’s future into the current pressure they exert on their children: enrolling their children in training classes like rushing to the market; pushing their children into a sea of ​​problems like rushing into the sea; squeezing their children’s time like a top… … Under the pressure and anxiety of parents, children are like squeezed bread, unable to stretch freely, and lacking the company and care of their parents. Over time, the children\’s education becomes worse and worse, and the parent-child relationship is also facing collapse. The best way to resolve anxiety about the future is to focus on the present. If the child can survive even now, the futureHow could it be possible to breathe freely? Give your child space and companionship, and let your child feel that he is not alone. If the future is difficult, my parents will still be by my side. The best support parents can give their children is to raise them peacefully. Equality is the bridge of all education. Liu Yu mentioned a conversation with a friend at the beginning of \”May You Grow Up Slowly\”: The friend asked her: Why did you decide to have children? Liu Yu replied: In order to make life more complete. The friend asked back: Isn’t this very selfish? Use the lives of others to make your life more \”complete.\” The friend\’s words made Liu Yu think deeply. She realized that she could not find a \”non-selfish reason\” to explain \”why she had a child.\” \”Parents\” and \”children\” are often defined as: the relationship between giving and being given. Parents are great, children are small. However, no one has ever asked the child whether he is willing to come to this world and whether he is willing to let you become his parents. On the contrary, children are born to continue the love of their parents, to inherit the blood of a family, or to complete certain life missions. You know, having the status of \”parent\” does not mean you are a qualified parent. Parents raising children is not a one-sided dedication, but a growth that both parents strive for. Lower your personal position, squat down, let \”teaching\” and \”education\” form an equal state, and respect children as adults. Only in this way can education be high-quality and efficient. Comparison is a mistake that hurts children and ourselves. Without comparison, there is no harm. In family education, \”contrast\” is like an invisible sword, which seems to encourage children to climb up compared to outstanding people. In fact, contrast hurts the child\’s self-esteem. From an adult\’s perspective, \”contrast\” may have a positive motivating effect. For children whose minds and egos are not yet mature, parents’ recognition and encouragement are the nutrients that nourish them. \”Other people\’s children\” are certainly enviable, but your own children are yours. Some people compare children to flowers, but forget that different flowers have different flowering periods; some people compare children to blank paper, but forget that what can be drawn on the paper also depends on the person who writes it. If you want your children to become excellent children, you must first become excellent parents. Every child has plasticity, the key is how parents educate and guide them. Parents should abandon \”horizontal comparison\” and learn to \”vertical observation\”. Don’t compare with others, only compare with yourself. As long as your child is better today than yesterday, it means growth and progress. Patience is the best gift parents can give their children. In the TV series \”Our Marriage\”, stay-at-home dad Li Yuwen received the \”Rose of Jericho\” brought to him by his mentor. It looks like a ball of hay. The son looked curious and asked his father one sentence after another. The father took out the instructions written by the instructor in the gift box and patiently read them to the child sentence by sentence. I learned that the so-called \”rose\” is not really a \”rose\”, but a kind of tenacious lichen. Even if it has dried up for several years, it can be revived by just soaking it in water for a few days. At that time, the father took out the water basin and waited with the child to see if the \”rose\” would bloom. No wonder netizens say that Li Yuwen is his father’s “ceiling”. Compared with parents who urge their children to write, Li Yuwen\’s handling method is simply \”textbook\” level. When faced with children\’s slightly naive questions, patiently give answers; when faced with children\’s dawdling living habits, patiently wait. High-quality products require time to polish; excellent children also require careful nurturing. Putting down the urging and waiting for the flowers to bloom is the best gift parents can give their children. Life is the best school for children. We often hear parents say to their children: \”At your age, the most important thing is to study hard and get into a good university in the future. You don\’t have to worry about family life.\” As everyone knows, all learning is important. All results need to be tested by life. The knowledge gained in practice is far more impressive and thoroughly understood than textbook knowledge. Life is the best school for children in their lives. Parents are the \”teachers\” in this school. The difference is: some \”teachers\” will simply give answers, allowing children to overcome the pain of thinking and avoid the pain of failure; some \”teachers\” are willing to give life back to children, allowing children to experience the difficulties and obstacles in life first-hand. Easy to decide. Parents who truly understand education will often stand behind their children to lead. Rather than rushing ahead blindly, shielding children from wind and rain and clearing obstacles. You know, parents cannot protect their children forever, but obstacles accompany people throughout their lives. The results of all education will eventually return to life. Putting children through life experiences is the fastest and most practical way to grow. Love is the prerequisite for all learning. When Gu Ailing was a child, she learned many \”skills\” before skiing. Play piano, dance ballet, run cross-country, football, basketball, archery, horseback riding, rock climbing and more. I only fell in love with skiing later. The child\’s temperament is uncertain. Isn\’t it a waste of time and money to let the child try? Gu Ailing\’s mother said this: \”If you have to try it again, the worst result is that you don\’t like it, but if you really like it, you will make a profit.\” Education is not about forcing knowledge onto children, let alone feelings. Learn whatever is beneficial to your child\’s future. Smart parents will only follow one principle: respect their children\’s interests. Once you have interest, you will develop love. When a person falls in love with something, he will be instinctively devoted to it. Forcing a child to learn something he doesn\’t like or don\’t want will not only fail to learn, but will also destroy the child\’s self-confidence in learning. Start with things that interest children and allow them to find their confidence in learning. Only then will children be able to \”reject no one and learn to be strong.\” Education is the result of the parent-child relationship. An educator once lamented: \”Sometimes, because of problems in the parent-child relationship, parents\’ \’control\’ is worse than \’ignoring\’.\” In many families, there is this phenomenon: in the past, children He is very obedient, but now he refuses to listen to anything and fights against them all day long. In the past, children always clung to their parents, but now they can stay together all day without talking. Their grades in school are a mess, and they only play with their mobile phones when they get home… Seeing the \”bad\” behavior of their children \”Behavior\”, parents are not only angry, but also \”seeking doctors and medicine\” everywhere, how to pull their children back from \”the abyss of all evil\”. As everyone knows, the \”medicine\” is in the hands of parents. Behind a child\’s \”bad behavior\” is usually the \”inner cry\”. When a child’s inner needs are not available for a long timeIf you are satisfied, you will instinctively find a way to save yourself. The foundation of all education is based on good relationships; the results of all education are the results of the parent-child relationship. The better the relationship, the more likely children are to trust their parents. The better the relationship, the more willing the children will be to accept their parents. Making mistakes is a \”green channel\” for growth. Educator Thorndike conducted an experiment: he put a hungry cat into a box and put a fish outside the box. At first, the cat would just bite and bump aimlessly, and accidentally touched the foot pedal in the box, and the door opened. The cat successfully got the food. After that, Thorndike put the cat into the same box many times until the last time. As soon as the cat entered the box, he could skillfully open the switch and escape from the box. The name of this experiment is \”trial and error learning\”. The same goes for educating children. Making mistakes is inevitable in life. No matter what kind of parents, it is impossible to educate their children so that they will not make mistakes. As Suhomlinsky said: \”The wisdom of a child is on the tips of his fingers.\” If you are afraid that your child will make a mistake, you will prevent your child from doing anything, which is limiting your child\’s growth. The process of making mistakes is the process of learning. Only by allowing children to make mistakes will they move towards the \”right\” life. Aristotle once said: The root of education is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. Being a parent is a deep practice: managing yourself is always more difficult than disciplining others; magnifying your strengths is always harder than pointing out shortcomings; focusing on the present is always harder than worrying about nothingness; putting yourself down is always better than raising others up. It is much harder; it is always harder to accept shortcomings than to strive for perfection; it is always harder to restrain yourself than to deal with it casually; it is always harder to wait for growth than to do it all; it is always harder to face uncertainty than to pass on experience; Dealing with relationships is always more difficult than venting wantonly; letting go is always more difficult than being safe. However: it is these \”much harder\” things that allow children to see a meaningful and passionate world. It is these \”much harder things\” that give children a growth that is respected and enjoys equality; it is these \”much harder things\” that give children a complete and rich life, making their journey worthwhile. This is excellent parenting thinking. Recommended scientific parenting books. I really hope my parents have read this book. Download the electronic version.