Experts tell you what kids of all ages desperately need

Each stage of a child\’s growth has its own specific needs. For children before the age of 3, they long for care and attachment, and parents should meet their physiological needs in a timely manner to establish a solid emotional foundation. When children enter the stage of 3 to 12 years old, they begin to need clear rules and boundaries. At this time, parents should firmly express \”no\” to help them establish the correct code of conduct. When children enter adolescence, they begin to pursue independence and the right to choose. At this time, parents should listen patiently, treat them as friends, and give them enough respect and space. This means that the world we see is actually a reflection of our inner world, which is largely shaped by our childhood experiences. Therefore, many parents begin to feel anxious and they are eager to know how to fill their children\’s inner world with happiness and warmth. 0-3 years old Emotional care In the early stages of a child’s growth, especially between the ages of 0 and 3, emotional care is particularly important. This is a prime time for children to develop one-on-one attachments with their family members, and these deep emotional bonds will continue to build into their teenage years. Attachment relationships are the cornerstone of emotional development. When children develop a deep attachment to a specific caregiver, they will feel extremely happy and secure when spending time with that attachment figure. When children encounter setbacks or feel sad, only the presence of an attachment object can give them real comfort and solace. Meeting your child\’s attachment needs will allow them to experience deep joy and relaxation. In this relaxed state, children will look at the world around them with a more positive and optimistic attitude and discover the beauty and happiness in life. However, in real life, Professor Li Meijin often comes into contact with some heartbreaking cases. She found that children who behaved in ways that hurt their parents during adolescence often did not establish a strong emotional connection with their parents before the age of 12. Most of these children lack the personal care of their parents when they grow up, resulting in serious defects in their emotional development. These cases remind us that the importance of emotional care in the early stages of a child\’s growth cannot be ignored. How to build attachment? In public, Professor Li Meijin has emphasized many times: \”In order to ensure that infants and young children can establish a correct attachment relationship, we should give mothers three years of maternity leave.\” This view aims to emphasize the important role of mothers in the early growth of their children. In the past, the \”cry immunity method\” originated in the United States was very popular around the world, and many young Chinese parents also blindly followed it. This method advocates that children should not be picked up immediately when they cry. It aims to cultivate the habit of children falling asleep independently and prevent them from developing the habit of relying on crying. However, Professor Li Meijin holds a different view. In the early stages when children are unable to take care of themselves, such as eating, drinking, sleeping, etc., they can only express their discomfort through crying. At this time, parents should immediately pick up their children and give them timely comfort. Ignoring children\’s crying for a long time and not giving them timely comfort will cause the children\’s internal autonomic nervous system to form overly tense memories, which will then affect their personality and temper. in real lifeIt is not difficult to find that some people are prone to extreme emotional reactions when facing pressure or challenges, such as \”road ragers\” or \”keyboard warriors\”. Behind these behaviors, there is often hidden the experience that their physiological needs were not met within one year of age and they lacked careful care from their parents. Therefore, holding children in your arms and feeding them, allowing them to feel the scent and warmth of their caregivers, not only makes the children feel comfortable and happy, but is also more conducive to establishing a solid attachment relationship. 3 to 12 years old: the critical period for character building. Love is undoubtedly an indispensable nutrient for a child\’s growth, but it is not everything. When children reach the age of 3 to 12 years old, they begin to gradually demonstrate their understanding of the world and their ability to express themselves. This period is not only a critical period for their cognitive development, but also a golden period for character shaping. Therefore, as parents, we need to grasp this critical period, \”set rules\” for our children, and help them develop healthy and positive characters. At the age of three, parents must learn to say \”no\” to their children; at the age of four, parents must teach their children to wait and self-discipline; at the age of five, parents must teach their children to learn self-management during temptation training, and demonstrate to their children how to interact with them. Others share; At the age of six, children must learn the spirit of hard work and hard work in sports. Around the age of 3, children\’s crying is no longer a physiological need, but a psychological need. So how to stop your child from crying unreasonably? Crying is useless. When a child cries because he cannot watch mobile phones or cartoons, parents should gently take the child to the bedroom and accompany him with a smile to vent his emotions. After the child calms down a bit, hand over a hot towel to let the child feel the parent\’s love. Then, communicate with the child in a calm manner: \”If mom wants a mobile phone but dad doesn\’t give it to her, and mom cries like you, do you think that\’s okay? You are already an older child. If you have needs, you can tell mom and dad. If you cry, It is not a way to solve the problem.” Professor Li Meijin also emphasized that parents should avoid the “four don’ts” when educating their children. Do not scold the child, do not hit the child, do not reason with the crying child; do not leave the child. For crying children, the parents\’ rationale is like noise and ineffective; leaving the child alone to reflect is like confinement, with little educational effect. Encouraging children to express themselves, listening to their parents, and establishing equal communication are key. Parents report that middle school students are distracted from studying, often due to inattention. Li Meijin pointed out that attention problems often stem from the environment in which our ancestors grew up. The elderly lead an irregular life and frequently interrupt the children, causing their attention to be distracted. Disorganized parenting in early life affects self-control in adulthood. How to help children around the age of four begin to know how to wait and be patient, so as to develop a sense of self-discipline? Buy toys for your children in a planned way. Choose a leisurely weekend and go to the mall to buy toys with your children. After the child has chosen the toy, parents can explain gently: \”Baby, this toy is beyond our budget. Do you know why mom and dad have to work? Because there is only one salary per month, and the family expenses need to be planned. This toy costs 120 Yuan, but my mother only planned to spend 100 yuan to buy toys. If I buy it today, the food expenses for next week will be gone.Zhou Duo worked hard and worked overtime, and I will be able to buy this toy next week! In order for your mother to work overtime smoothly, you should go to bed early tonight, eat well, and tidy up your toys. \”In this way, parents not only teach their children the concept of financial management, but also put forward requirements for daily behaviors. Delayed gratification will teach children to wait and be patient. Professor Li Meijin suggested that after the child is three years old, parents can use weekend time to let the child sit quietly Do puzzles or paintings at the desk for 10 minutes at a time; increase to 20 minutes at the age of four. In this way, when the child goes to school at the age of six, he can easily cope with the 35-minute class and concentrate on learning. From the age of five, children should gradually learn to manage themselves and share with others. At this time, parents can help their children develop these skills through temptation training. Ability. How to cultivate children\’s self-management ability? 1. The temptation of chocolate. Prepare a child\’s favorite snack, such as chocolate. Design a game, divide the chocolate into three parts, take out two of them and say to the child: \”Baby, Both portions of chocolate are given to you, and you can manage them yourself. If you can eat one portion today and another portion tomorrow, your mother will reward you with an extra portion tomorrow. \”In most cases, when children have the power to make decisions for the first time, most of them will eat two pieces of chocolate at once, and naturally they will not get the reward of the third piece of chocolate. A month later, when they play the game for the second time, the child will learn the lesson and Taste chocolate according to the plan and gradually develop a good habit of self-discipline. Tell your children, \”This is your mother\’s test. Don\’t be anxious. When you grow up, you must learn to wait.\” 2. Sharing at the dinner table When I was a child, I always prepared before meals. There are good tables, chairs, and bowls and chopsticks, and the chopsticks will not be used until the family is seated. If my father works overtime and cannot eat on time, my mother will definitely leave a separate meal for him with clean bowls and chopsticks, and will also leave the best fruits for him when he is not at home. Family. How can children learn how to share through their parents’ life? Children should participate in more sports activities from the age of four to cultivate hard-working and hard-working. 3. Hard-working and hard-working in sports can enhance children’s breathing, endurance and courage. Children may be out of breath when they first run, but they will find it is not difficult after they adapt. Parents can tell their children: \”Life is like running. It is difficult at first, but you will find it is not difficult after perseverance.\” \”When children learn to swim, they feel fear at first, but they can learn it if they persevere. At this time, parents can encourage their children: \”Everything has a process of never ending. This is the journey of challenging yourself. Don\’t stop because of fear. Give up trying. \”12-18 Years Old Personality Raising When children enter adolescence, usually around 12 years old for girls and 14 years old for boys, secondary sexual characteristics begin to develop. During this period, they are experiencing the transition from children to adults. Faced with At this stage of growth, parents need to adjust their educational strategies, shift from simple teaching to more guidance and support, and fully respect their children\’s independent choices. Take the children entering the second grade of junior high school as an example, when they have begun to think about their future. . Parents can take the initiative to communicate with their children, explore possible career directions, and provide them with at least fiveCareer choice as a reference. In this process, parents should serve as guides rather than decision-makers, guiding their children to make choices that suit them with equality and respect. Lin Miaomiao in the TV series \”Pi\” is a typical adolescent student. She excelled in liberal arts but faced difficulties in mathematics, physics and chemistry. However, her mother wanted her to pass all subjects, which undoubtedly increased her academic pressure. In this case, how should parents help their children cope with learning difficulties? Professor Li Meijin’s approach is worth learning from. When her daughter did poorly in math in high school, she found an excellent teacher to provide tutoring for her daughter. However, my daughter believes that she does not need additional tutoring in mathematics, and is more willing to invest time and resources in the study of English and history. Professor Li Meijin respected her daughter’s choice, and ultimately her daughter made significant progress in English. Adolescence is also a critical period for children\’s emotional development. They begin to develop a liking for the opposite sex and form an ignorant love relationship. At this time, parents should understand and respect their children\’s feelings, and discuss love topics with them in an open and tolerant manner. When her daughter was in junior high school, Professor Li Meijin used the case of choosing clothes to guide her daughter to think about love issues and help her establish a correct view of love. In short, during adolescence, parents need to pay more attention to their children\’s growth and development, respect their choices and rhythm, and guide them to face learning difficulties and emotional problems with an equal and respectful attitude. Choosing clothes is like looking for a partner. The mother and daughter once selected clothes in a shopping mall. When they entered the first store, their daughter immediately became interested in a piece of clothing. However, Li Meijin suggested that she should not rush to make a decision and that she could visit other stores before making a choice. In the process of browsing one by one, my daughter gradually discovered the styles that were more in line with her own preferences. Li Meijin took advantage of this opportunity and cleverly told her daughter: \”Choosing a partner is like choosing clothes. Middle school is just the first store in your life. If you fall into puppy love too early, you may miss the opportunity to meet better boys in the future.\” After hearing this, my daughter was deeply inspired and has since established a correct concept of love. Life is not just about pursuing career success, but also about having a healthy body, harmonious family relationships, good interpersonal relationships, etc. Children who are emotionally rich are more likely to experience happiness. Therefore, we should not just force children to pursue a single success, but should focus on their all-round development. Raising children is not only a material investment, but more importantly a psychological investment. This investment is priceless because it allows the child to remember the voice, look, and smell of the caregiver, forming a deep attachment. This intangible psychological capital is the most valuable asset for children in their future lives.