Facts have proved: the harder the mother works, the harder it is for the family to be happy. The reason is very realistic and cruel.

Previously, when table tennis player Ma Long participated in a competition, his two sons were lively and naughty on the field, which attracted netizens to joke: \”I finally understand why Ma Long is willing to go to work.\” \”It turns out that Ma Long did not retire before because he was afraid of returning. Take care of your baby at home.” Some people couldn’t help but sympathize with all the old mothers who take care of their babies: “Only those who have taken care of their babies know how tiring it is.” I feel the same way. Someone once said that the most tiring job in the world is that of mothers taking care of their children. Starting from the turmoil in the morning, the whole day has been busy, and only when the children fall asleep at night can I have some time for myself. However, despite all the hard work, what I got in return was my husband\’s habit and the children\’s incomprehension, disrespect and disobedience. In the living room is the father who is slumped on the sofa, saying that he is too tired from work and needs some time to clean up. In the bedroom is the child who has closed the door and won\’t let you in, because he thinks you are in charge of too much and is complaining a lot about you. At this time, even if the old mother is fighting, she can\’t help but feel tired. Studies have proven that in a family, the more tired and hard-working the mother is, the less likely the family will be happy. Because the state of the mother is the best feng shui for whether a family is happy. The negative energy in my mother comes from exhaustion. I watched a video that made people very sad. On the overpass in the early morning, a mother of three children lay on the railing and cried loudly: \”I have no friends, no social interaction, nothing. I am very tired and depressed. If I hadn\’t called the police, I might have jumped from here. \”Yes.\” Beside her, the policeman listened patiently to the mother\’s words and was thinking of how to comfort her. Unexpectedly, the mother saw on her mobile phone that her child had woken up and ran all the way home. The video is both sad and heartbreaking to watch. My body has collapsed from exhaustion, but my heart is still worried about the child. Some people say that after becoming a mother, you will be trapped in the cage called \”home\”, and your life will become a mess in the busy day after day. Someone has to take on all the hard work of raising children. However, in this overloaded predicament, some mothers survived, while others were trapped in it forever. From a psychological perspective, women are more inclined than men to fulfill themselves in ways that satisfy others. Simply put, mothers will take on more caregiver roles. The body is consumed by the trivialities of childcare, and the spirit and psychology are also suppressed, so a lot of negative energy is generated. However, the child will be aware of the mother\’s negative energy earlier than the mother, and will be affected by it. In the movie \”The Elegant Hedgehog\”, the mother of the girl Paloma has been suffering from depression for many years and always likes to make a fuss. Under her subtle influence, her daughter Paloma felt that life was extremely empty at a young age, and even decided to commit suicide on her 13th birthday and set fire to her home. In another film \”Room\”, there is also a mother who was imprisoned in a storage room for nearly 7 years after being deceived by her neighbor. There, she was forced to give birth to her son Jack. Fate played tricks on her, but she did her best to give her son a happy childhood. When the son grew up, he not only took his mother to escape from the \”room\” where they had been trapped for several years, but also helped his mother to re-establish a relationship with him.Confidence in the outside world. Children grow up absorbing their mother\’s emotions. The mother\’s emotions affect the child, and the child\’s growth status will eventually be fed back to the mother. The more a mother pays, the harder it is for her children to be happy. In an article by @十点人志, Wang Huiling, the author of \”Grassroots Women\”, said something very resonant when talking about her mother. She said that when she thinks of her mother, she only has a few good memories. What\’s more, her mother often beat and scolded her, and once she almost blinded her. Although she also knew that it was not easy for her mother, it was very hard, and she was too naughty, but she still felt that the reason why her mother beat her was an excuse to vent her life stress and anger on her daughter. In real life, there are too many women like Wang Huiling\’s mother. They have sacrificed a lot for their children, but it is difficult for their children to appreciate them. This also seems to be the tragic reincarnation of many Chinese families: the harder the mother works, the easier it is to raise \”revengeful\” children. But is the child really to blame for all this? In an interview, I read the story of the female poet Wu Xia: When Wu Xia was divorced, she was assigned the custody of her youngest daughter, and later her ex-husband sent her eldest daughter to her. Because she herself had suffered from low education and poor finances, she took her daughter to live in an urban village in order to prevent her two daughters from repeating her fate. Even if the economy is difficult, she lives far away from school, and she even has to get up at 6:30 to go to school in the morning, she still insists on letting her daughters attend schools in big cities. The busy life almost made her paralyzed from exhaustion, but when she thought about the future life for her children, she was willing to do so. But until one day, she discovered that her eldest daughter was becoming more and more silent. The little girl, who was originally more cheerful, also complained every day that she no longer wanted to study, saying that the school was too far away and that she just wanted to lie down. The mother paid a lot, but the child didn\’t appreciate it at all. It was written in \”The Awakening of the Family\” that children focus on the present, while parents focus on the future. What children want is control over their own lives. But what mothers do is control their children\’s present and hope for a better future for them. It\’s not that the mother is wrong, nor that the child is wrong, it\’s that the needs of the two are completely out of sync. And another point is that the mother pays too much, and what the children see is the pressure and unhappiness of the mother. What is lost is their autonomy and true experience of life. Therefore, a mother who makes excessive sacrifices not only \”sacrifices\” herself, but also \”sacrifices\” her children. The more a mother worries about her father, the easier it is for her father to be \”marginalized\”. As an old mother, I understand why many mothers would rather tire themselves to death than let their children\’s fathers participate more in child care. In a word, if you have accumulated enough disappointments, you will naturally have no hope. But once I saw a father’s sharing on Zhihu, I realized that my idea seemed wrong: “After my son was born, my wife basically took care of him. In the beginning, I often helped him too. But gradually, the responsibility of raising my son basically fell to my wife. My wife often told me that I was too tired and that I was a widowed father, but I had to admit it first. Yes, mothers do pay a lot more than fathers in raising children. Maybe it comes from society and themselves.Due to the physical constraints of motherhood and the characteristics of a woman’s own personality, she is also more attentive and patient than me when it comes to taking care of our son. Sometimes my son coughs for a while, and I don’t even notice, and she realizes that he may have accumulated food or caught a cold. But I feel like the responsibility is not entirely on me. Because I discovered that she has her own standards for taking care of her son. Once I fail to meet this standard, she will judge me as not doing a good enough job as a father. It\’s like a vicious cycle. The less I meet her standards, the more she thinks I\’m not doing a good job, and the less she wants to let go. The less I had the opportunity to participate in childcare, the less likely I was to be trusted by her, and I gradually lost the confidence to raise a child well, so in the end I simply left all the raising of the child to her. Now every time I hear her nagging that she is too tired and I don\’t help, I feel helpless. \”Have you noticed? Whenever in a family, the mother does too much and the father participates too little, the more conflicts and quarrels there will be in the family. And children who grow up in this kind of family environment are also very It’s hard to be happy. And as time goes by, the less fathers participate, the more they will take doing nothing for granted, the mother will complain more and more, and the parent-child relationship between the child and the father will become worse and worse. . Mothers feel that only a happy family can make them happier. Professor Hong Lan, a doctor of psychology, once said: “Mother is the soul of the family. \”Only when the mother feels happy, the family can be happier: 1. The essence of family upbringing is a cooperation. I agree with this sentence: \”Family education is essentially a conspiracy of love between parents. \”No one is born to want to work hard all the time. In the final analysis, it is just because there is no one to share it with. Sometimes I see videos of mothers collapsing on the Internet. Without exception, their voices are: \”I am too tired!\” \”I have to take care of everything about the child, and no one helps.\” \”Every hard-working mother has an absent father behind her. But the best education often comes when parents are of the same mind, frequency, and efforts, so that they can truly teach and raise their children well. Children are the shared responsibility of both parents. Many fathers Participate and let go more, so that children can develop more positive power in a healthy and stable family environment. 2. Children are not the only meaning of life for mothers. Shen Yifei, associate professor of the Department of Sociology at Fudan University, once shared in his live broadcast room: Chinese style. Most of the \”culprits\” in education come from the \”intensive mothering\” culture. This culture requires mothers to devote themselves to taking care of their children 24 hours a day, but this kind of intensive care will make mothers and fathers tired. , the children are very tired. She said that a truly good education is when the mother is happy and comfortable, and the children will also feel comfortable and happy. If the mother is unhappy, anxious, and stressed, the children will also feel the same. It\’s just that they are not as expressive as their mothers. It is written in \”The Meaning of Life\” that everyone needs \”something\” to survive. It’s your own hobbies, interests, pursuits, and ideals, but it must not be your children. A mother who is self-motivated is the best role model for her children. A parenting blogger once said that marriage and childbirth bring happiness.Moms are overloaded. It\’s not that they don\’t want to escape, it\’s just that they can\’t escape. In our current society, mothers always seem to be the first person responsible for their children. Even many movies and TV dramas portray a mother who is bitter, hateful, hard-working, and has a bad temper. But for many mothers, behind the hysteria is just because the burden on them is too great. In fact, what mothers want is just a little understanding and recognition from their family members. In a family, the mother\’s energy field determines the happiness of the family. I hope all fathers can be more considerate and share their burdens with mothers. I also hope that all mothers can focus more on themselves, work less and be more happy. If the mother does not work hard, the family will be blessed, and the children will be happier.