Father, don\’t let your daughter become Hepburn

Recently, I read the book \”Audrey Hepburn\”. The narrative about her father in the book was unforgettable to me. Divorced mother Ella, with two babies, married divorced Roxton and gave birth to Audrey Hepburn. My father is serious, withdrawn and picky. He often travels on business. When he is not traveling, he always goes to the city center to discuss current affairs. Hepburn wanted to show her father what she had learned, but his father showed little interest in her. Faced with her father\’s indifference, Audrey, like other children, worked extra hard in the hope of getting his father\’s love and recognition, but unfortunately, it was all in vain. Her father often quarreled with her mother, and the atmosphere at home was very tense. She often cried secretly. His father was unhappy at work and was depressed and silent at home. He had nothing to say to Hepburn, who was deliberately trying to please him. Even without warning, pack your clothes, walk out of the house, and never come back. At the time, Hepburn was only six years old. After that, Hepburn rarely mentioned this past event, except for a few words: I admired my father, and him leaving us made us feel very uneasy-maybe it will affect me throughout my life. It was a prophecy that his father\’s death affected Hepburn\’s life. Hepburn broke off some friendships with friends. She felt sad and confused, and had a deep sense of guilt in her heart. Did she do something that caused her father to leave? Does she not deserve to be loved? Although my mother repeatedly assured me that this was not the case. Will his father come back? Will he never be fatherless? As an adult, Hepburn mentioned that my father\’s leaving without saying goodbye was the most painful thing in my life. I remember my mother\’s reaction…her face was full of tears…I was so scared. what do I do? I felt like the world was falling apart. \”My father\’s death affected my relationship with other people. When I fell in love or got married, I was always worried that the other person would leave me.\” Hepburn\’s marriage was not smooth. She was divorced twice and later suffered from severe depression. . All of this is deeply related to the influence of his father. It is undeniable that the mother is the source of happiness and joy in the child\’s life, but more and more evidence confirms that the father also plays a vital role in the life of the child, especially for daughters. Two years ago, I watched a documentary. The protagonist Xiaoxue has longed for his father\’s attention and love as long as he can remember. However, her father always used busy work as an excuse and rarely accompanied her. Father always comes home late and rarely communicates with Xiaoxue. Xiaoxue sometimes used the excuse of not being able to do her homework to go to her father, but her father always told her to go to her mother. Even her birthday is often celebrated with her mother alone. The more her father distances herself from her, the more she craves his attention. When her father was at home, she would deliberately make some noises, such as closing the door loudly, talking to herself loudly, and throwing toys around hard. But it was useless, my father remained the same. My father is also not good to my mother. He often quarrels with her over trivial matters, and even beats her violently. Whenever her parents quarreled, the young Xiaoxue felt extremely frightened and cried heartbreakingly. Later, my parents finally got tired of arguing and divorced. Xiaoxue followed her mother, and her father became an eternal scar in her heart. When she was in junior high school, Xiaoxue fell in love with a young man from society. She had no intention of studying anymore and dropped out of school. becauseDue to the shadow caused by her father, Xiaoxue is withdrawn and has low self-esteem, is sensitive and suspicious, and is extremely insecure. She longs for attention and love from her boyfriend, but is afraid of losing him, and is often suspicious. She often quarrels with her boyfriend when she has nothing to do. If her boyfriend gets serious with her, she will self-abuse and commit suicide, leaving scars on her wrists. Her mother knew that she was suffering from psychological problems due to her father\’s influence. I took her to see a psychiatrist and participate in some programs, hoping to help her get out of her father\’s shadow as soon as possible. If Xiaoxue could get affirmation and recognition from her father since she was a child, she would not desperately want to get affirmation and recognition from other men, because she already has it. If her father was a competent father, Xiaoxue would not be so emotionally suspicious and insecure. Meg Meeker, an internationally renowned expert on adolescent issues with many years of experience in child clinical treatment and adolescent counseling, discovered a common fact during the diagnosis and research process: the father is the most important person in a daughter\’s life, and there is a strong relationship between father and daughter. Emotional bonds can shape a daughter’s life and future. My good friend Xinxin is a child who has been loved by his father as the apple of his eye since childhood. Xinxin\’s father is very busy at work, but he tries his best to spend time with his children. Every day after get off work, he would chat with Xinxin and often tell her stories. Whenever there is any manual homework at school, her father always accompanies her to complete it. Their homework is always praised by teachers and classmates. Every time his father went on a business trip, he would bring some little surprises to Xinxin when he came back. Sometimes it was a diary with a beautiful cover, sometimes it was an exquisite bow hairpin. Therefore, her father\’s business trip has become a very pleasant thing for Xinxin. Her father\’s selfless love makes Xinxin optimistic, cheerful and confident. Xinxin\’s grades were always very good during her schooling, and she successfully found a job she liked after graduation. Xinxin is in love, and her boyfriend is sunny and handsome, considerate and caring to her. After two years together, Xinxin got married and lived happily. Whenever we express our envy to Xinxin for finding such a good man, Xinxin always says proudly, I found a husband according to my father\’s standards, okay? People often say that behind every happy girl there is a good father. In fact, it is. A good father will make a girl feel safe, so that she can grow up cheerful and optimistic. A father\’s love for his daughter is also conducive to the development of girls\’ self-confidence and sense of achievement. Meg Meeker summarized the influence of fathers on daughters in the book \”Good Fathers Make Good Daughters\”: Girls who live with their fathers have higher IQs, better academic performance, and are more likely to complete school. A good father will make his daughter more competitive, more eager to achieve, and more successful. Girls who have a close relationship with their fathers are more confident, better problem solvers, and less anxious or withdrawn. Girls who have a good relationship with their fathers are less likely to think about suicide. Girls who live only with their mothers are less able to control impulses, delay gratification, and have a weaker sense of right and wrong. Girls who live with their parents (not just with their mothers) rarely have growth problems, emotional disorders or conduct problems. Girls who are cared for by their fathers will turn to their fathers for help when encountering emotional problems and receive timely help. For 76% of teenage girls, their father influencesaffects their decision whether to initiate sexual intercourse. In families where the father and mother have a good relationship, girls wait longer before trying sex, and the rate of underage pregnancy is also lower. It can be seen that the father\’s influence on his daughter is all-round. A good father can make his daughter get more emotional satisfaction, help his daughter increase his self-confidence, cultivate his daughter\’s sense of right and wrong, and reduce the occurrence of problem behaviors. With his unique love, the father protects his daughter from the harm of society so that she can grow up healthy and happy. Meg Meek said, \”Living in this society that is not very friendly to women and not very healthy, there is only one thing that can stop it from hurting your daughter, and that person is the father.\” Meg Meek also said, One day, when she grows up, some things between you will be different. If you do your job well, she will choose someone else who loves her, fights for her, and has a close connection with her. But that person can never take your place in her heart because you got there first. That would be the greatest compliment to a good father. I hope every daughter can meet a good father, and every father can receive the greatest \”compliment\”.