Faye Wong: Being yourself is the best education for your children

In the variety show \”Toast and Drink\”, Christy Chung revealed that she was scolded by her husband Zhang Lunshuo for two days because she changed her hairstyle to a trendy hairstyle. At that time, Zhong Liti cut off the hair on the back of her head, shaved it into a V shape, and carved a picture inside the V shape. Unexpectedly, just a hair style was met with anger by her husband Zhang Lunshuo, and they quarreled for two days. Zhang Lunshuo directly called his wife Zhong Liti: \”You are the mother of three children,\” and told his wife to pay attention to her image as a mother. Many people have a prejudice that after a woman becomes a mother, she can no longer do many things. For example, it can’t be too trendy. Just like Zhang Lunshuo, even though he is in the entertainment industry at the forefront of fashion, he dotes on his wife and understands that his wife grew up abroad and has an open mind. However, as a man, he still cannot accept that his wife is still so trendy after having a child. For example, you can’t travel. A mother in Guangdong was criticized by her husband and mother-in-law because she wanted to go on a trip for a few days: \”I\’m already a mother, and I still can\’t control myself! I\’m selfish, irresponsible, and unworthy of being a mother!\” The woman stays at home with her children every day, and occasionally wants to go out to relax. All of a sudden, it became evidence of ambition, selfishness, and irresponsibility. When we become mothers, we are locked into a mold and strive to be what society wants us to be. If you have a little preference of your own, you are often criticized, \”I am a mother…\” However, every mother is also a woman and has her own emotions and desires. Being a mother should not be a shackles for a woman! During the company dinner, I picked a bunch of spicy dishes, put them on the plate, and ate them. My colleague made fun of me, \”Look at you, it looks like you haven\’t eaten chili peppers in your life.\” I told her that you will know when you become a mother. Being a mother means that you have to be devoid of desire, especially during the breastfeeding period, and you must not be able to salivate over many delicious foods. I used to eat anything spicy, but my mother said: \”You are a mother, how can you only think about what you eat? If you eat spicy food, your children will get angry and eat it. You should drink more soup.\” My colleague, Sister Zhang, was standing next to me. Sighing, \”You just lost the food, I even lost myself!\” Sister Zhang is the company\’s accountant and wants to take the intermediate accountant certificate to increase her competitiveness in the workplace. However, she had just given birth to a child, and she took care of him by washing and dressing him, feeding him and putting him to sleep, buying groceries and cooking, washing pots and dishes, and it was like a spinning top spinning at high speed. She was exhausted from preparing for exams and taking care of her family at the same time, and hoped that her husband and mother-in-law would help. However, the mother-in-law complained: \”Now that I am a mother, I don\’t know how to spend more time with the child!\” Her husband couldn\’t help but said, \”What the child needs most is a mother. Is the examination more important than the child?\” In desperation, Sister Zhang All the energy is put on the children. She smiled bitterly: \”The children are too busy, how can they think about themselves?\” I don\’t know since when, facing the children, everyone can find excuses to hide, only the mother has nowhere to hide, she can only be like a chicken blood. go forward. After every woman becomes a mother, she will inevitably go through a dark and messy life. \”It was a very difficult time, and my whole life became trivial and mediocre.\” Dong Qing once described the moment when she became a mother for the first time. Writer Su Mei described the state of being a mother like this: I can only lock myself in the bathroom and sit on the horse.When I looked into the distance on the bucket, I found myself a little bit, but when the children outside cried, I had to rush out immediately. After you rush out of the bathroom, your father who is sitting on the sofa playing with his mobile phone may glare at you: \”How did you become a mother? You can\’t even coax a child!\” Everyone thinks that it is natural for mothers to take care of their children, but they forget to care about them. How hard and tiring it is for a mother to take care of her children. Once something goes wrong, someone will say, \”Why are you a mother…\” Just like the writer Tang Xiaoxiao said: It is really difficult to be a mother in China. The difficulty lies in 100% sacrifice, and the difficulty lies in 100% perfection. This is a moral kidnapping of Chinese mothers. Children are an extension of family happiness, but they should not be the end of mother\’s happiness. A maternal and infant company conducted a survey: Are you satisfied with your life after becoming a mother? The results are shocking: 99% of women are dissatisfied with their lives. How can an unhappy mother raise happy children? The best love we can give our children is not to be a candle and burn ourselves to illuminate the children, but to live out ourselves and illuminate the children with love. Love and self should become the new image of the role of mother. A \”selfless\” mother who wants nothing and lives only for her children may seem great and selfless, but in fact she is not. For a \”selfless\” mother, her children do not appear to be happy or loved. Instead, they are under tremendous pressure for fear of disappointing their mother. Fromm, the master of psychology, mentioned in \”Discourse on Love\” that \”selflessness\” is a sign of neurosis. A \”selfless\” mother gives all her hopes to her children, asks for feedback from her children, and feels sorry for herself. The heart must be filled with its own blood before it can pump blood to other organs. A mother can only love her children if she is filled with love. Self-love is the foundation of all love. Only by learning to love yourself can you learn to love others and have a more positive impact on your children. In \”Youth Talk\”, Wang Han, a first-year high school girl, confessed to her mother on the courage stage: \”I hope my mother will not focus only on me, but be brave enough to be herself and realize her dreams.\” In the hearts of children, everything revolves around A mother who has a child is not the best mother. Living herself and being proactive is the most beautiful thing about a mother. Zhong Liti said in an interview, I have my own daughter, but I still have my own dreams and my own life, and I also like beautiful clothes. Mom and goddess are just different roles that I take on every day. When someone says, \”You are already a mother,\” please tell him loudly, \”Who said you can\’t be a goddess after you become a mother!\” This year\’s Spring Festival Gala, Faye Wong\’s appearance was once again stunning. Faye Wong has been pursuing herself all her life, living a maverick life, and is not a good mother in the eyes of the world. However, she remained close to her two daughters. After Faye Wong took the stage at the Spring Festival Gala, Dou Jingtong proudly said on Weibo, \”Did you see, this is my mother!\” Li Yan spoke out to support her mother, \”Do you know better than me whether my mother is a good mother?\” Faye Wong is chic and confident, in her Under the subtle influence of , Dou Jingtong emerged in music, and Li Yan also had a strong aura and smooth expression on the T stage. Psychologist Dr. Zhang Yiyun said: The more fashionable the mother, the more confident the child; the better the mother\’s figure, the prouder the child; the more enterprising the mother, the more diligent the child; the more the mother insists on being herself.The more independent the child is, the more independent he or she will be. Mother is the shaper of her child\’s soul. Faye Wong used her living soul to nourish her daughter with a full life. My friend Xueer is full of energy. She writes, studies psychology, and English every day, and lives a steamy life. I asked her how she had so much time and energy to do so many things. She said that she used to go to school, go to work, and get married according to the rules, and she had no dreams to pursue. One day I looked at my child and suddenly felt panic. It is said that children are copies of their parents. If I live a lifeless life, won’t my children also have a boring life? In order to set a flag for her children, she began to search for her dream again. She wanted to be a goddess in the children\’s hearts instead of a useless middle-aged woman in their children\’s hearts. Mother is the root of the child\’s soul. When a mother becomes her own goddess, her child\’s life will be more nourishing, abundant and vibrant. Alison, a British spiritual teacher, said that in a family, a woman\’s relationship with herself will directly affect her family relationships with other members, and she will project her relationship onto her interactions with others. A mother who blooms herself is the driving force of her child\’s life, providing her with upward and growing strength.