Faye Wong’s family parenting knowledge shares two tips that you have to obey

Have you watched \”City of Fantasy\” recently? Recently, Dou Jingtong was also invited to participate in her mother\’s first variety show and became one of the singer-songwriters. To be honest, I was a little confused after watching Dou Jingtong\’s works. I just thought it was cool, and her voice sounded like Faye Wong in many moments. If you are interested, you can watch the video. What I can\’t forget the most and watch over and over again is Faye Wong vs. Dou Jingtong. That paragraph of fierce praise. As a woman who has been divorced twice and has two children, Faye Wong not only lives a free and easy life herself, but her two children are also confident, sunny, straightforward and healthy, making her remarkable among the second generation of celebrities. In my heart, Faye Wong is the embodiment of the smart mother in the new century! With the blessing of dual identities, Faye Wong\’s evaluation of Dou Jingtong\’s performance is both objective and pertinent, and she also makes no secret of her love and appreciation. The natural and warm way of getting along between her and Dou Jingtong makes people sigh: What kind of mother raises such a child? My baby! Although there are already many articles about Faye Wong’s ability to raise children, I still want to talk about two points worth learning from her from the perspective of my understanding. 1. A valuable sense of boundaries. No matter which marriage it is, when it ends, Faye Wong clearly separates her emotional affairs from her children. As the saying goes, she can handle everything clearly. After she divorced Dou Wei, a reporter asked her what kind of father she planned to find for Tongtong. Faye Wong said: \”She has her own father, and what I am looking for is my lover.\” You see, a simple sentence not only affirms the identity of the child\’s father, but also gives herself freedom, and also leaves a father and mother in the heart of the child. Love position. When Dou Wei was photographed riding the subway with an out-of-shape figure and a decadent look on his face, Dou Jingtong immediately posted a photo of himself doing the subway to support his father: \”It\’s just taking the subway, how normal it is~\” Relaxed and casual Two sentences, but a strong feeling of father and daughter. Many conflicts in Chinese families stem from blurred boundaries and misaligned relationships. The sense of boundaries has become a scarce resource in many families. Among celebrities, Huang Yi and Huang Yiqing are probably the best examples of celebrities involving their children and having divorce battles that lasted for several years, right? Huang Yiqing, in particular, seizes the opportunity to make various revelations and accusations on the Internet, completely ignoring the feelings of her daughter who is growing up. Huang Yiqing is a typical person with a blurred sense of boundaries. He obviously brings a lot of harm to his children, but he always talks about how much he loves his children. This type of parents who have no sense of boundaries but are full of control are the most harmful to their children. One time I was riding the subway, among the crowds of people, and a soprano instantly caught my attention. \”I am in my 30s and you are only 7 years old. Why are you so confident that you want me to listen to you? Now we are on the wrong path. Are you comfortable? From now on, you have to listen to me in everything, including homework, study, how to follow When people say hello, you must learn to listen well, read well, and learn well!\” The words are clear and concise, and all in one go. The boy whispered: Why? Mom continued to educate loudly: Why? Just because I know more than you, I am older than you, and I have walked more roads than you have crossed! I was frightened by this mother\’s self-righteous and powerful \”desire for control\” and couldn\’t help but look at her several times, while she kept immersed in various demands and preaching to her children. Maybe, she feelsIs this how we are responsible for our children? Children want to interfere, correct, and guide whatever they do, think, or say. Many parents fall into the misunderstanding of \”control in the name of love.\” The control mentioned here may not be so obvious. Most of the time it occurs in the details of life that can be seen everywhere. If your child is slow to eat, feed him quickly; if his child is clumsy in getting dressed, help him get dressed immediately; if his child has a conflict with someone, help him to settle it immediately; if his child falls in love, he must pass your test; if his child gets married and has a baby, he should help him to do so. Live your life the way you think is good… Children who live under the control of their parents may seem to have avoided the \”detours\” in their parents\’ eyes, but what they have lost is the opportunity to experience and explore their own lives. There is a saying: If you do not allow your children to have the right to choose to drink milk or juice today, you may deprive your children of the ability to make choices and take responsibility for their marriage and career tomorrow. Having seen too many cases where parents are overly controlling and cross too many boundaries, I appreciate Faye Wong’s sense of boundaries even more in marriage and in children’s education. Faye Wong uses her strong sense of boundaries to not only live her own life, but also gives her children the maximum space for free development. Psychologists believe that the greatest value of a person\’s life comes from living his own life according to his own will. Faye Wong uses a strong sense of boundaries to give her children full respect and independent space. Isn\’t this the best gift of life that parents can give their children? Faye Wong once said in a song \”Child\” written specifically for Dou Jingtong: You can\’t be bad, you don\’t have to be bad. Don\’t be bad, that is, don\’t do things that hurt others. This is the bottom line and principle of her education; don\’t be too good, that is, she hopes that children can do things according to their own ideas and not live in the expectations and eyes of others. . It can be said that this is the boundary and bottom line that Faye Wong has set for her children\’s education. As long as these two boundaries and bottom lines are met, Faye Wong gives her children the space to explore and try freely. How to achieve a sense of boundaries? Everyone may have different feelings and definitions of psychological boundaries, but this sentence can give a clearer idea of ​​the boundary: there are three things in life: your own business, other people\’s business, and God\’s business. For your own affairs: go all out and strive as hard as you can. Regarding other people’s affairs: You can express your opinions and give suggestions, but the decision of whether to adopt or listen to them is up to the other party. Do not force or pressure. Regarding God’s things: For some things that exist objectively and cannot be changed by manpower, respect them, do not engage in futile resistance and struggle, and save your energy to do your own things well. ‍2. Eva needs to speak out loudly. In the 2018 Spring Festival Gala, Faye Wong returned to CCTV after 20 years, and Dou Jingtong became a hot search because of a Weibo post. She uploaded a photo of herself as a child onto a scene of her mother singing, with the caption: See, this is my mother, isn’t she awesome? In this \”City of Fantasy\” program, I saw Faye Wong excited and unabashedly expressing her appreciation for her daughter\’s work after Dou Jingtong\’s performance. Netizens even posted a photo for Faye Wong saying, \”See, this is my daughter.\” , is it awesome?\” picture. The interesting and loving interaction between their mother and daughter amazes netizens. thisThis kind of parent-child relationship that is easy to get close to and makes no secret of love and appreciation makes me envious in my heart! When I was a child, I was well-behaved and obedient, and my grades were good, but I rarely received direct appreciation and praise from my parents. One time, I was doing my homework at home. The neighbor who was chatting with my mother at home looked at my handwriting and said, \”Your daughter\’s handwriting is very good!\” Before I could raise the corners of my happy mouth, my mother said : \”Where is it? I didn\’t think it was so good!\” As a result, after the neighbor left, she picked up my homework and looked at it, and said, \”It\’s indeed pretty good!\” Later I asked her why she did it in front of others. I didn’t say yes until the other person left. My mother said, “Isn’t it because I’m afraid you’ll be proud?” After studying some psychology, I realized that envying other people’s intimate interactions between parents and children, as well as the appreciation and expression of love, is It comes from my lack of experience in this area during my childhood. Unconditional love, full spiritual connection, unabashed appreciation and praise, being friends with children, hugging children anytime and anywhere, these are the beautiful blueprints of family education. Many people work hard to learn but find it difficult to achieve. Faye Wong here It\’s all a matter of minutes. In the program \”City of Fantasy\”, after Dou Jingtong\’s performance, Faye Wong excitedly hugged Dou Jingtong and called her \”Miss Dou\”, and muttered in a low voice, \”It\’s a bit strange to call her Miss Dou. She should be the eldest sister.\” Faye Wong once posted on Weibo that , she is the third sister in the family, and her two daughters are the eldest sister and the second sister. Seeing the scene of mother and daughter hugging each other on the same stage, I was warmed up like many others. What\’s even more commendable is that Faye Wong\’s appreciation for Dou Jingtong is not just the empty praise that many parents give to their children, such as \”you are awesome\” or \”you are the best\”, but is concrete and deeply rooted in people\’s hearts. The scene when my parents brought Ding Ding was very representative. When the child jumped higher, they immediately opened their mouths exaggeratedly: \”Wow! You are the best!\” The child helped to lift something, \”Oh, my baby is so awesome!\” The child took a big mouthful of rice, and they hurriedly Praise: \”Our Dingdong is the fastest eating baby!\” Obviously, this kind of exaggeration is too exaggerated and broad, and it is just superficial and cannot make the child truly confident. It is more likely to cultivate a child who can only listen to nice words but cannot accept them. Children who criticize or deny. What kind of praise can really make children confident and sunny? Faye Wong set a good example by praising Dou Jingtong in \”City of Fantasy\”. \”First of all, I am very satisfied with this work!\” (If you love and appreciate it, say it out loud) \”The movie has a profound proposition and an open ending, leaving everyone with deep thoughts.\” (What is good about it specifically, I won\’t talk in general terms. , but clear and specific) \”Of course, this is just my personal understanding of this work!\” (No matter how much you appreciate the children, it does not replace the children\’s opportunities to feel and think. Children are allowed to have their own ideas.) \”The part where she raps is slightly It’s a bit stiff, but it’s her strength once she sings it” (objective and pertinent, not shying away from the child’s weaknesses but also seeing the child’s strengths). If we usually want to cultivate children’s self-confidence and enhance their sense of value, Faye Wong praised Dou Jingtong’s paragraph. The words can be used as a reference and reference for communicating with children! Many people only see Faye Wong’s free and easy attitudeSelf-confidence and a great voice. In fact, when it comes to being a mother, Faye Wong is also a proper \”student\” mother.