\”Five Steps\” to Cure Procrastination in 7 Days and Give You a Smart Baby

We have been studying in the United States for more than two weeks and have basically settled into a normal rhythm of life. Liuliu was often praised by his roommate, Grandma Tongtong, who said, \”This kid is so nimble.\” Whether it’s getting up in the morning to go to kindergarten or going home for dinner at night, Liuliu has basically bid farewell to the slow-paced style of childhood, which makes me quite happy. That\’s right, classmate Liuliu, who is relatively agile now, was once a member of the army of grinders. When I was in the middle class of kindergarten, the only negative feedback I received from the kindergarten teacher was the problem of Liuliu\’s dilly-dallying. Often everyone had finished eating, but she was the only one still eating. After that, I realized that after entering collective life, it was necessary for Liuliu to adapt to the new rhythm, so in the past two years, based on reading books, I combined Liuliu\’s own situation and targeted her I have made some adjustments to my behavioral abilities, and now it seems that it finally has some effect. In fact, child procrastination seems to be a problem faced by parents all over the world. The backend of the official account often receives messages from readers like this. To be honest, I don’t think it’s very appropriate to use “procrastination”, a word related to “disease”, when talking about children who are slow to do things nowadays. The child is not deliberately slow or dilly-dallying, because \”slow\” is the child\’s rhythm! Some people describe raising children as walking with a snail. How fast can we expect the snail to go? Children do not have the concept of \”overall\” and cannot consider the different impacts of \”doing it now\” and \”doing it later\” when doing something. Children only know that \”tomorrow comes tomorrow, there are so many tomorrows\”, but they don\’t know that \”if I am born waiting for tomorrow, everything will be wasted\”. And the concept of time is also relative. Just like walking, everyone has his own rhythm. Some people like to walk quickly and get to the finish line early, while some people like to take a leisurely trip and look at the scenery more. Compared with adults who have clear goals in entering society, Babies enjoy the process more than the results. Therefore, you don’t need to be overly anxious about the slowness caused by babies’ instinct. However, it is one thing to understand the slow pace of a baby, but it is definitely not the right approach to leave the older children alone when they enter collective life. In the process of helping Liuliu overcome the habit of procrastination, I summarized a set of \”five-step\” methods, which may be able to help your child. The first step is to ruthlessly let the child bear the consequences of procrastination. If parents always help solve the consequences of procrastination, the child will have a wrong understanding of procrastination. Anyway, there will always be someone to support me, so there is nothing to worry about. Therefore, despite feeling distressed, parents must be ruthless and let their children bear the consequences of procrastination, and let the facts teach their children a lesson. There was a time when Liuliu took a long time to take a shower. He would yell many times every night before he could slowly walk into the bathroom or be carried into the bathroom by me. One day I changed my method and only shouted three times. If the caller didn\’t come, I would ignore it and go about my own business. Liuliu was very happy at first. He went to bed without taking a shower for several nights. Children have a strong metabolism and love to sweat. The smell on their bodies was really unpleasant. I had a mild mysophobia and endured it for several days. Finally one day, Dirty Liuliu said to me: Mom, I need to take a bath, my head is itchy! Be cruel and let your children realize that their procrastination behavior is not justIf parents feel anxious, they themselves are the bigger victims. The second step is to guide the child to imagine the good results of not procrastinating. After the first step of \”eating the bitter pill\”, the child has already developed the desire \”I want to change the status quo\”. At this time, the child can be further encouraged with the help of interesting imagination sessions. \”Then start changing\”! American writer Robert Collier said: Imagine what you want, see it, feel it, believe it, plan a spiritual blueprint and make it a reality. When Liuliu didn\’t want to sort out the toys, I didn\’t urge her repeatedly. Instead, I closed her eyes with her and guided her: Liuliu, if you don\’t sort out the toys now, there will be more and more toys tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. But that’s a lot of trouble! By the way, didn’t we agree to go to the park the day after tomorrow? If you sort it out now, you can play more in the park then. \”Through this kind of empathic imagination, let the children look forward to the wonderful results of \”doing it now\” in the future, and let them realize that the tasks they have to deal with now are not so bad. The third step is to work with the children to formulate practical and feasible solutions. After the first two steps of planning, congratulations, your child has taken the initiative to ask you for help, expressing that he does not want to \”do it again tomorrow\”. At this time, parents can do a lot of work to make a plan with their children. My approach is to write it on paper Write down the things you have to do in a day, divided into two types: \”must do\” and \”may do\”. The purpose of writing them all is to give children a more intuitive concept: Oh! It turns out that I have so many things to do in a day. Ah! Classifying things is to adjust the rhythm according to specific situations. For example, \”complete the homework I assigned her\” and \”get enough sleep\” are \”must do\” things every day, and \”watch cartoons\” are \”possibly done\” things. So, if the homework is done slowly on a certain day and takes too much time, the \”watching cartoons\” should be cut off that day; conversely, if the homework is done quickly on a day, the time of \”watching cartoons\” can be appropriately extended. , let her establish the awareness of time management. The fourth step is to implement the plan with the child in love. Don’t think that everything will be fine once the plan is formulated. My actual experience proves that this is the “first step in a long march of thousands of miles”, “execution” The process requires parents to personally participate. If we act as hand-off shopkeepers, we will not be able to understand the frustrations children encounter in \”execution\”, and children will also have a sense of isolation of being \”forced to act according to plan.\” Like the movie \”The Little Prince\” In the movie, the little girl’s mother made a dense study plan in order for her to be admitted to a prestigious school. She was only responsible for checking the results after returning home from work. Little did she know that the little girl who was working hard at home alone was not happy at all, and instead went against her mother. Sneak out of the house and take risks. With love and motivation, the plan goes smoothly, and there are two tips: Tip 1: Guide children to learn to split tasks. A sentence said by Martin Luther King is particularly suitable here. : You don’t have to look at the whole staircase, just take the first step. Many children have difficulty executing plans because they feel that there are too many things to do, and at a glance it seems that they will never be completed. Parents can guide their children to break down big tasks into small steps. A small task will be much easier to do if you do it this way. For example: sorting out the toys scattered all over the floor, suggesting that the child canStart with stuffed toys, then electric toys… Every time a small task is completed, parents should give their children a big affirmation, so that they can feel proud of \”I can do it.\” Tip 2: Set deadlines your kids understand Many parents know that pushing their kids to do something requires setting a deadline. \”You will have to do your homework after playing for ten more minutes.\” \”Change your clothes and go out in two hours.\” This statement is no problem for older children who understand the concept of time, but younger children are confused: How long is ten minutes? When is two hours? My approach is to replace general concepts with concrete reminders. For example, if I tell Liuliu to turn off the TV in 60 minutes, I will set an alarm on my phone and tell her: In ten minutes, when the phone rings, Liuliu will turn off the TV and study. When the alarm went off, Liuliu turned off the TV as agreed, and also gained an understanding of the time concept of \”how long is ten minutes?\” In addition to mobile phone alarms, kitchen timers can also be used. Step 5: Develop a reward and punishment mechanism. Some parents are stingy about praising their children. They worry that praising them just a few days after the plan has been implemented will make their children \”underestimate\” the enemy. My suggestion is to develop a reward and punishment system from the day you make the plan. For example, if you execute the plan as planned for a week in a row, you can be rewarded by watching more cartoons on the weekend; if you make a mistake of procrastinating one day and delay the execution of the plan, you need to sacrifice time to watch cartoons or play to make up for it the next day. Appropriate and clear reward and punishment mechanisms are conducive to increasing children\’s sense of responsibility and taking responsibility for their own actions. Beyond the five steps, there is a little reminder. When I discussed the problem of children\’s procrastination with the teacher of Liuliu Kindergarten, she told me an interesting phenomenon: children raised by stay-at-home mothers are generally more procrastinating than children raised by working mothers. Analyzing the reasons, working mothers have not escaped from the work environment where \”one hair can affect the whole body\”. First of all, they must be quick in doing things and stay in bed for ten minutes in the morning. The consequences may be: the children are late for school, they have no time to eat breakfast, and they are in a hurry on the road. Panic, let alone putting on makeup beautifully! The step-by-step habit developed by working mothers is reflected in the matter of raising children, and they also pay attention to \”speed and efficiency.\” Of course, being a stay-at-home mother is very hard, but it is undeniable that there is an extra buffer in time. It’s still the same example as before: if you stay in bed for ten minutes in the morning, you can put off other things as long as you don’t delay your children’s schooling. With this kind of \”taking your time\” habit of raising children, the children are more likely to be like their mothers: not in a hurry and taking their time, but over time it becomes a grind. I forced myself to improve my time management skills, make daily plans and schedules and implement them carefully. This was also a change I made after being pointed out by the teacher. The words and deeds may be reflected in all aspects of parenting. These are some of the lessons I learned while helping Liuliu overcome his procrastination habit. Although the little girl still refuses to get up from time to time, refuses to play for a while, and refuses to finish homework late, at least she understands the impact her behavior will have on \”herself\” rather than \”mom\” or \”others\” , she understands that her own path needs to be walked step by step. The gradual development of children\’s social abilitiesAcquisition is the result I prefer to see.