For a good education, parents must be able to \”pretend\”

Suhomlinsky, a famous educator in the former Soviet Union, once said: \”To educate children well, we must continuously improve educational skills. To improve educational skills, parents need to make personal efforts and continuously improve themselves.\” As a parent, The first lesson to learn is to \”pretend\”. Parents who pretend to be perfect will shape their children to be perfect. Children who pretend to be innocent can develop empathy and become true friends. \”Pretending\” is creating a beautiful growth environment, and \”pretending\” is a kind of encouragement and expectation. For a good education, parents must be able to \”pretend\”. Pretending to be perfect, striving to be perfect, my aunt is a middle school teacher with more than 10 years of teaching experience. She has been rated as the \”most popular teacher among students\” many times, but she is also the \”least popular mother\” in the words of her cousin. My cousin has just entered fifth grade and has not yet reached the rebellious stage. Conflicts often break out between mother and son. The day before yesterday, I went to my aunt\’s house as a guest, and I saw that mother and son were incompatible with each other. At 5 o\’clock in the afternoon, my cousin finished school. As soon as he got home, he took out his homework and started writing. I was writing and writing, and when I encountered a doubt, I turned on the computer and looked it up. After checking it, I started playing the game. At this time, my aunt opened the door and came in. As soon as I saw my cousin playing on the computer, I got angry and started scolding my cousin for being disobedient. Just like this, there was a small quarrel for three days, and a big quarrel for five days. The mother and son became farther and farther apart. In fact, my aunt has always had a bad temper, but when facing students at school, she would restrain herself a lot. On the contrary, when dealing with her cousin, all her temper would come out. Many parents also make this mistake. They are used to pretending outside and giving kindness and humility to outsiders. When they return home and take off their psychological defenses, they give harsh words and cold faces to their children. Once while watching \”The Round Table\”, Hong Kong cultural celebrity Mr. Ma Jiahui talked about his parenting issues. Mr. Ma said that when communicating with other young people to answer questions, he was always able to listen patiently and give reasonable suggestions. But once he got home, he relaxed and spoke more casually. He did not agree with many of his daughter\’s childish ideas. A estrangement arose between father and daughter. Later, he realized that for good education, parents must \”pretend\”. There are no perfect parents and no perfect children in this world. But if you pretend to be a perfect parent, the children you shape will tend to be perfect. Pretend to be a child and achieve empathy Mo Yan once said: \”Many rural parents can also raise excellent children, because in terms of education, to a large extent, it is the attitude of the parents that determines the happiness and sense of value of the next generation. It\’s not their level of cognition.\” Many parents now adopt the attitude of \”becoming friends with their children,\” but still use the rational thinking of adults to get along with their children, which has little effect. For good education, parents need to \”pretend\” themselves to be children so that they can empathize with their children. Hong Kong singer Chen Meiling, who was half the star in the 1970s, has recently returned to the public eye. This time it was not because of her personal musical achievements, but because of her excellent educational achievements. As we all know, Stanford University is the most competitive university in the United States and has the lowest admission rate, surpassing Harvard University. However, she sent her three sons to this prestigious school in a few years. In Chen Meiling\’s educational philosophy, \”pretending\” plays an important role.She pretends to be her child\’s peer, becomes a true friend with her child, and explores the mysteries of the world together. So she was always interested in her son\’s questions. While cooking, if her son comes to ask her mother why the sky is blue, she will immediately turn off the fire and go find the answer with her child; when it rains, she will take her child to think about why it rains; her eldest son wants to go to high school To study in the United States, I chose a No. 7 school because each student in this school would have a horse, which the children thought was very interesting. She actually wanted her son to go to a top 2 school in her heart, but she pretended to agree and praised her son\’s choice. Only when parents pretend to be ignorant will their children be curious; if their parents pretend to be innocent, their children will be brilliant; if their parents pretend to be interested, then their children will remain curious. My friend Wei, who is a good pretender and has great merits, told me that she has no imagination. When she was learning to draw when she was a child, she wanted to paint the sky colorful, but her mother told her that the sky was blue; she wanted to paint the grass purple, but her mother said the grass was green. She tried to refute it several times, but was corrected by her mother every time. Wei said: \”Everything I see now is just the same, and I can never imagine how it will change. My mother\’s reality kills my imagination.\” When adults deal with each other, pretending is a derogatory term. But as a parent, in the process of getting along with your children, pretending has countless merits. There is such a world-class \”pretender\”. Once he went to a school and randomly selected a dozen students and told all the teachers and classmates that these children were geniuses. Everyone was dubious. But after 8 months, these children have made significant progress and have truly become \”geniuses.\” This \”pretender\” is called Rosenthal, and this story gave rise to the famous \”Rosenthal effect\”, also called the \”expectation effect.\” Appreciation makes children succeed, complaining makes children fail. Prohibition means temptation, while suppression means strengthening. Psychologists propose that human behavior shaping can be divided into three stages: first, establishing a behavior, second, pretending to be a behavior, and third, becoming. Appearance is the core. Pretending is the carving of children. If you pretend to agree, you will really agree; if you pretend to agree, you will really agree. There was once a \”parenting song\” circulated abroad: Children who grow up in criticism learn to be harsh; children who grow up in hostility learn to fight; children who grow up in ridicule learn to be shy; children who grow up in humiliation learn to feel guilty; children who grow up in hostility learn to be tolerant. Children who grow up in a healthy environment learn to be tolerant; children who grow up in a healthy environment learn to be confident. British writer Thackeray once said: \”If you sow behavior, you can reap habits; if you sow habits, you can reap character; if you sow character, you can reap destiny.\” The most ardent need in human nature is the desire to be affirmed. For good education, parents should be \”pretenders\” and learn to turn a blind eye. Open your eyes to recognize the child\’s strengths, strengths and potential; close your eyes to understand the child\’s shortcomings, deficiencies and problems and then improve them. No one is born a successful parent, but successful parents are good at learning. Being a good parent starts with being able to \”pretend\”.