For such parents, the children will \”submit\”

A few days ago, a mother said in a circle of friends, \”My child is getting more and more disobedient. It feels like he doesn\’t listen to anything I say. When I tell him to go east, he goes west. When I play cards with my friends, he comes to make trouble.\” Why can\’t you just be a good child quietly?\” This should be the wish of many parents, hoping that their children will be obedient. Some parents use violence to intimidate and whip their children whenever they cause trouble. Other parents simply ignore it and let their children roll on the floor, while they continue to do their own thing. As a result, the child is often repaired. Is there any good way? Take your son to the small store to pick up the express delivery. It’s common to see children crying because their parents don’t buy them snacks. But my son has never cried over buying snacks. One time the boss lady was surprised and asked me how I taught him. I said I didn’t teach him, because he wouldn’t ask for snacks when he was full. If he wants it, I will buy it for him and never embarrass him. Because how much to buy and how many times to buy, we will discuss it together and there is a rule. Just follow these rules. I remember my son once said to me: \”Dad, I obey you and listen to you.\” I felt strange. Because I never wanted to control him. As I grew up with him, I often reminded myself to stand in his shoes. To listen to the little thoughts in his heart. And we discussed and established some effective rules together. I also warned myself to set a good example by setting an example. It should be these things that allow children to express themselves like this. And the \”submission\” here is not control, nor can it be control. But \”effective parenting\” is what we call, children are willing to listen. If it feels right, they are willing to do it. During the holiday, I went back to my hometown. A few old classmates got together. They hadn\’t seen each other for a long time. After exchanging pleasantries, they said they would go get together. Because my son has also been brought back to his hometown, and he needs me to play around with him. Therefore, many invitations were rejected directly. But once I couldn’t refuse, I went anyway. After dinner, several people suggested playing cards. I thought about it and said that my child wanted me to take him to play and I had to go back. One person said: \”As a father, why do you care so much? You still have a wife to take care of it! It\’s okay to just have fun.\” At this time, the mobile phone rang, and the child was there calling his father to come back early. He went home without saying anything. Because I think the fun of playing with children is far greater than this kind of party fun. It is often better to hold the child\’s hand and go outside to breathe fresh air than to smoke or drink. Or spread out the book and read with your children. Because I\’ve seen so many situations like this. Hanging out with friends to play cards and ignoring the children. There is a relative in my hometown who is such a card player. Every time he invites a group of people to have a drink and dinner in a rental house, he will then sweep away the dishes and start playing cards. The room is noisy and it is impossible for the children to study in peace. In such an environment, no matter how talented a child is, it is useless. Because he simply couldn\’t concentrate on reading. If parents cannot discipline themselves, it will have a great impact on their children. It is impossible to raise a self-disciplined child in a chaotic environment. When raising children, you have to be tough on yourself. Because parents’ attentiveness and self-discipline are the cornerstones of parenting. When raising children, you must also be cruel to thempoint. Especially when it comes to discipline education, you have to be ruthless. Because children are observant of words and expressions, and as long as they see the slightest sign of looseness in their parents, they will immediately take advantage of the situation. Many rules were broken little by little. Why is it that in many families, when four or five adults take care of one child, the adults are still exhausted? Often out of doting. I remember once taking my son to climb a mountain. There was a family of five who didn\’t move at the intersection ahead. It turned out that a little chubby boy over 4 years old was asking his grandpa to ride a horse. On such a steep slope, the old man would not be tired if he had to ride on his neck. The family took turns there to persuade. But if the child doesn\’t do it, he must ride it. In the end, the old man really carried his grandson on his shoulders and walked with heavy steps and gritted teeth. Such children are often wrapped in too much love. It not only binds the hands and feet, but also binds the soul. Mountain climbing is a good time to hone your children\’s willpower. When my son is tired, I will find him a wooden stick to support him while walking, or I will sit and rest for a while. I have climbed through a lot of deletions and they never asked me to memorize them. Because our rule is to do what you can do. Of course, many families have this rule. It\’s just that many rules were later broken by indulgent love, and they were in vain. A friend\’s son is addicted to mobile games, often playing for hours. Once we were guests at his home. The child who is playing the game ignores everyone and indulges in it. After a while, his mother said, \”We have another 10 minutes to play.\” The child did not speak. 10 minutes passed, and the child\’s mother was busy in the house. The child continued to play while waiting for the food to be ready. He shouted: \”Aren\’t you tired? Come and eat, stop playing.\” The child still didn\’t move. At this time, the child\’s grandma packed the rice, put a lot of the children\’s favorite dishes, and put them in front of the child. \”Eat quickly, it\’s cold!\” The child still didn\’t move. At this time, the child\’s mother called the child\’s father: \”Don\’t worry about your son! He is just like you.\” Then the child\’s father came over and said, \”Stop playing and eat. We will go play ball later.\” The child ignored it. The father took away his mobile phone, and the child became angry: \”You play too, why don\’t you allow me to play?\” \”Because it\’s time to eat.\” At this time, the child reluctantly picked up the bowl. This is the case for many families. An old man who dotes on his children, a mother who does a lot of housework, and a father who loves to play games. Children basically live in an environment without any effective rules. He will feel that his willfulness is natural. But will such a happy life really last long in the future? Parents\’ efforts and intentions will win the admiration and respect of their children. If there is a problem with a child, the cause must be found in the parents. Jimmy said that all mistakes are the fault of adults. As a parent, you must work hard to understand your children. When we stand by our children, especially when they make mistakes, parents are not blaming us. Instead, accompany the child to apologize, and then teach the child how to handle it correctly. Such parents are often loved by their children. A person will be grateful when he gets help when he is in extreme distress, and so will children. And many times, children\’s behavior is not their intention, or what they say does not express what they mean. If parents could be more patient, listen more and draw less conclusions, you will also gain the trust of your children. Parents who respect their children will win their children\’s respect. If you sincerely consider your children and make them feel it, your children will of course be happy to accept it. For example, when a child eats popsicles, what should he do if he encounters something delicious and wants to eat a lot? Ban indiscriminately, for example, tell your child, in fact, if you eat 10, I can buy them for you, but your stomach will definitely not be able to bear it, and you will have a stomachache by then, and that will not be good. Of course, your child will not be willing to accept your point of view at first. But I still have to squat down and talk to him calmly, letting him feel that I am thinking about him. And after effective education is truly formed. Minds will be connected, and many problems will be solved. The parent-child relationship will also be like a fish in water.