Four points that determine a child’s long-term development and happiness

I recently saw a study on the Internet with a very attractive title – \”What determines a person\’s long-term development?\” The American Nobel Prize winner in economics and economist James Heckman conducted a study and discovered the famous The Heckman Curve ——Education investment curve. He had a comparative study that lasted 40 years. Beginning in 1960, this psychology team recruited some poor 3-4-year-old children from the old industrial areas of Detroit, USA, and divided them into two groups. One group of children entered a high school called \”Perry\”. Quality Kindergarten, the other group was left free range naturally. At first, the research was considered a failure. Although children entering kindergarten scored higher on cognitive ability tests. But this “IQ gain” didn’t last. By the time the children entered third grade, the two groups were testing identically. However, it was not until after the millennium that researchers found that those who entered Perry Kindergarten had higher high school graduation rates, higher adult employment rates, annual incomes higher than $25,000 after the age of 40, lower crime rates, and lower odds of receiving subsistence allowances. . Moreover, the researchers found that the key information lay in the assessment of the \”personal behavior\” and \”social development\” abilities of the two groups of children. \”Personal behavior\” records the frequency of children swearing, lying, stealing, absence and tardiness; \”Social development\” records the child\’s curiosity about things and relationships with teachers and classmates. Professor Heckman calls these elements that have nothing to do with IQ \”non-cognitive skills.\” He believes that it is these non-cognitive skills that allow children to have a more successful life. What does that mean? Simply put: the sooner parents learn about The more children insist on investing, the greater the returns. The golden investment period is before the age of 5, and the returns are relatively lower after the age of 5. Of course, I also think that having multiple non-cognitive skills, such as curiosity, concentration, and perseverance, , cooperation ability, strong sensitivity, self-discipline and self-control, it is easier to have an excellent and happy life. So what should you invest in? The article did not mention it, so I have been thinking about it from time to time in the past few days based on myself, my children, and many familiar people. What is the most important investment for a child before he is six years old? After repeated comparisons, I think the following points are the most important: 1. From birth to three years old, there must be a caregiver with a stable and friendly personality, and it is best for this caregiver to Mom, or it must be a mother. The first three years after birth are the three years that outline a person\’s happiness in life, and are also the three years that implant a strong sense of security in his life, because only those with a sense of security have the energy to explore outside. Develop outward. What psychologists call happy people who use their childhood to heal their lives refers to this background of happiness. It can be said that unfortunate people are caused by thousands of reasons; and those who I observed in childhood Almost all people who lack maternal love have character flaws. Therefore, I put caregivers with stable and friendly personalities first. When it comes to investment in children, this is the fundamental and long-term investment. Investment in love is Priceless treasure! The energy and emotional investment cannot be bought for money. 2. Give children a language environment with rich vocabulary. Why create a language environment with rich vocabulary? American psychologists Hart and Leslie Leary formed a teamThe team conducted three years of solid research and concluded that the early language environment is the key to affecting children\’s academic abilities. right! A person\’s socioeconomic level, race, gender, and birth order are not key factors that affect a child\’s learning ability. Missing the cultivation of children\’s early language ability will not only affect their academic performance, but also their personality development and IQ level. , thereby changing their life course. Therefore, the so-called high-efficiency companionship does not mean that we stay next to our children and watch our mobile phones, but that we pay attention to the children\’s needs, happily respond to their questions, interact with them back and forth, and inspire and promote their thinking and exploration. If you can achieve beautiful language and rich vocabulary, that will be the icing on the cake. It’s not about money either, it’s equally about an investment of energy, brains and love. 3. There must be clear boundaries. The sense of boundaries formed before the age of six is ​​the premise of a person\’s bottom line and values ​​throughout his life. What can be done? What not to do? What should never be touched? People with such boundaries live safer and more practical lives, know how to self-discipline and exercise self-restraint, are not prone to depravity, do not do whatever they want, and can easily cooperate and get along with others. The latest and most complete 2023 [Kindergarten, Junior High and High School] premium VIP course catalogs from famous teachers in various disciplines on the entire network, click to view now! This also tests the wisdom of parents. Let children have boundaries, but not boundaries everywhere. If too many restrictions are set and too strict, children will lose their spiritual freedom and become easily depressed and angry. We only need to set a bottom line, not only to maintain the stability of the rules, but also to observe the children carefully, understand their feelings, and make timely adjustments. Children are born smart, and they will slowly learn a sense of proportion and the wisdom of compromise through interactions with adults. 4. Playmates and sports. I have repeatedly stressed that children between the ages of 3 and 10 must not have all their time scheduled. There must be plenty of time for running, jumping, playing and multi-player games. These real-life games and games played by multiple people can especially inspire children to love life and embrace the world. At the same time, they can learn and experience the skills of getting along with others, observe and feel the good and evil of human nature, and judge the right and wrong, which will prepare them for the future. life experience. Sports can build resilience and promote self-discipline in children. Some people say that they want their children to go out to play with other children and exercise outside, but they can’t find friends. Their children are studying in extracurricular classes at home. This requires us adults to really invest our energy and brains to figure out where to find a suitable partner, which will test the parents\’ information and parenting skills. These investments do not require money, but they are of infinite value to the child\’s future. You don’t have to be too good at it. Doing it basically well is enough to build a child’s initial healthy personality, build a preliminary value system for a happy future life, and lay the foundation and pattern.