From Liu Xiang to Sun Yang declaring war on Horton, the definition of Olympic gold medals has changed

On August 7, 2016, Beijing time, with only 0.13 seconds difference, Sun Yang lost to Australian rising star Horton in the men\’s 400-meter freestyle competition and won a silver medal. After the game, whether Sun Yang \”won\” the silver medal or \”regretly lost\” the gold medal sparked a big discussion among netizens. A friend sent me a message at noon and wanted to discuss this issue with me. I was coaxing my classmate Zhe to take a nap, so I simply replied. I want to wait until he falls asleep to write down my opinion. As a result, my baby and I fell asleep during the afternoon nap, and we slept together again at night. Regarding the discussion of losing or winning, there are many articles on the Internet that have said a lot. As a mother, the most important thing is how to guide your children through the various competitive stages of life. It doesn’t matter whether you win or lose, just try again. When classmate Zhe started playing poker, his grandparents would always say happily after winning: “Oh, I won, I won!” If they lost, they would cover their faces and pretend to cry. His father took him to play Landlords on the iPad, and even if he lost, the system would show a crying scene. Gradually, children understand the concept of winning and believe that losing is a bad thing. One time, a friend came to my house and caught up with classmate Zhe and I playing playing cards to compare with each other. After classmate Zhe lost, he started to act bad: he pushed the cards to the ground and said, \”Mom hates it. Mom hates it. Grandpa always lets me win.\” My friend asked me: \”Why do children care so much about \’winning\’?\” I thought about it for a long time before I thought about the daily life of grandparents and children. My friend reminded me: \”Discuss with the elderly how to guide children. Only when children feel that winning or losing does not matter, they will be more rational about success and failure caused by all kinds of competition.\” That was the first time I started to reflect. The importance of family education. As a mother, because she was unlucky for promotion in the workplace, she extended her emotions to the family and attributed the failure to unfair competition from her opponents; as a father, when watching a football game and his favorite team lost, he felt resentful; as a parent, , talking all day long about whose child has scored double hundred again, and don’t want to think that his own child scored 80 points this time and just passed last time… In this way, how can the child face failure with confidence? How to establish a correct outlook on life and values? How to view the strengths of others with a mature mind and learn from them? After that, I played competitive games with my classmate Zhe, and I smiled whether I won or lost. At first, he would ask: \”Mom, why didn\’t you cry when you lost?\” I replied: \”It doesn\’t matter whether you win or lose. If you lose, I will observe how you win, and I may beat you next time!\” Slow down! Slowly, classmate Zhe played with other children. When he lost the game, he shook his head and said, \”It doesn\’t matter whether you win or lose. Let me see how you win!\” He was only 3 years old, so he might not understand this correctly. He doesn\’t know how to observe other people\’s winning skills, but the concept of facing things calmly will slowly be rooted in his heart. When I was most vulnerable, my father gave me a generous shoulder. For rural children, the college entrance examination is basically the only way to change their destiny. When I took the college entrance examination, I needed to call to check my scores. At that time, there were only two telephones in the whole village, one at the western end of the village and one at the canteen in the middle of the village. After checking the scores, the eldest sister called the canteen from the county seat. The person at the canteen hung up first.OK, call my dad over and wait for my sister to call again. After answering the phone, my father came home and said in a relaxed tone: \”I did pretty well on the exam. I will definitely be able to go to school!\” After hearing the scores, I knew that I did poorly on the exam. At that time, I felt very blocked and felt like I was suffocating. I didn\’t want to cry in front of my parents, so I could only go back to my room and read novels randomly to divert my attention. After a while I went to the toilet and found that my parents had gone out and the door to the house was locked by them. At that moment, I suddenly lost control and cried loudly… The suppressed grievances poured out, and the self-denial emotions were exaggerated to the extreme, and then my mood slowly relaxed. In the evening, my mother came back first and remained uncharacteristically silent. After my father came home, he asked me to gently touch the back of my head while eating. Early the next morning, the two of them went out again. But my father left a note on the coffee table, which said: Dad knows how many nights you have stayed up and how many questions you have answered; the long run of life has just begun, as long as you try your best! To this day, I am still grateful for the space my father gave me to be alone, for accepting my failures when I was most vulnerable, for allowing me to cry bitterly to release the sadness and depression in my heart, and for supporting me with the strength of a father. Many years later, I heard from my sister that after learning about my scores, my father smoked half a pack of cigarettes in front of the canteen before returning home to tell me the news. I don’t know what he was thinking about during that half-pack of cigarettes, and I don’t know how he convinced his strong-willed mother to prevent her from blaming me. But in the end, he showed me the greatest image of a father with an extremely strong attitude. This is the most beautiful form of competition. In the workplace, the most common situation is this: two people starting from the same starting point, and one of them gets promoted, often means that the friendship has come to an end. The most common reason why the boat of friendship is overturned is that you feel that the other person\’s promotion is unfair to you, and you even feel that your ability is much higher than that of the person who was promoted, and you also have opinions about higher-level leaders. A friend said it well: \”Adults are too conceited, mostly due to an imbalance in their judgment of their own abilities. For example, many times, they think that they can definitely succeed in something, but in the process of progress, they find that they are not capable enough, and they are unwilling to admit that they are not capable enough. Reality, because the general environment determines that in most industries, everyone is the \’winner and loser\’. After that, he starts to be disappointed, self-attack, jealous of others and even curse others.\” This extreme psychological cognition is different from the success we have always preached It doesn\’t matter. Eric Bernay, a famous American psychologist, divided interpersonal interactions into four types based on the basic life attitudes towards oneself and others: first, I am not good – you are good, I am not good – you are good; second, , I am good – you are not good, I can do it – you can\’t; third, I am not good – you are not good, I can\’t do it – you can\’t do it; fourth, I am good – you are good, I can do it ——You can do it too. The first three modes can easily cause psychological frustration for the parties involved, while the fourth mode is the most optimistic and positive attitude towards doing things. We should guide our children to face failure calmly anytime and anywhere in life, and sincerely wish others victory and success—— Facing it calmly will help children reflect on themselves; sincere blessings will not only gain good interpersonal relationships, but also allow children to learn from outstanding people what they do not have.quality. The friend who talked to me about Sun Yang\’s silver medal at the beginning said something that made me feel very sad: \”As soon as I mentioned the ranking, I felt that my heart stopped beating and I blushed so much that I felt like I was a sinner through the ages. mentality.\” Just imagine, if we attach great importance to scores, the children will be in a bad mood if they fail the test, and when they go home, we scold them again, how helpless will the children feel? At that moment, will they feel: The mother they rely on the most despises them, so what’s the point of studying? At the 2008 Beijing Olympics, Liu Xiang withdrew from the competition due to injury, leaving people with a departing figure and countless abuses for himself. In 2016, at the Rio Olympics, Sun Yang missed his first gold medal, and the media and the Internet had more understanding voices. Such changes make everyone happy: from then on, competitive sports have a more humane interpretation in China, and athletes no longer have to be kidnapped by gold medals. Whether it is the champion in the arena or the first place in exam results, the halo is only a momentary thing. The meaning of life cannot be afforded by a gold medal or a first place at all. A calm attitude of staying calm in times of shock, being proud in spite of defeat, and smiling in the face of loneliness is enough to give children a stable and happy life.