Good family education is first self-education

\”What is the first thing your parents do when they get home?\” Faced with this question, two primary school students complained wildly to the reporter: their parents love to play with their mobile phones as soon as they get home. Playing while eating, playing in the toilet, playing while sleeping, even when doing homework, parents are still listening to songs and watching short videos… Tolstoy once said: \”Total education, or a thousand points Nine hundred and ninety-nine education comes down to role models, and to the parents\’ own integrity and perfection.\” When you get home, do you pick up your phone first and just entertain yourself, or do you pick up a book and study with your child? These will permeate into the child\’s growth bit by bit. The way you are at home is the way your children will be in the future. The greatest tragedy in education: a group of parents who are busy scrolling through their mobile phones, desperately forcing their children to study. A teacher friend once complained that she taught a student who was particularly poor in Chinese and even handed in a blank essay. She always advised her children to read more and read more books, and also recommended some books to the student. However, after one semester, the student\’s performance still showed no improvement. She talked to her students, who said, \”My parents are always holding their mobile phones at home, and they only want to force me to read. Why?\” She called the parents to report the situation, and tactfully reminded them that it is best to read with their children more. . Unexpectedly, the parent\’s words left her speechless: \”We are so busy at work, how can we have time!\” As Professor Li Meijin said, the root of children lies in their parents, and children\’s problems are actually family problems. We often complain that our children are “disobedient, unwilling to learn, and greedy for pleasure,” but we forget that their children’s shortcomings are actually just a reflection of their parents’ problems. Just like the fruit of a tree has grown crooked and crippled, we should look at what\’s wrong with the tree and the soil under the tree, instead of just asking what\’s wrong with the fruit. Many times, parents are the ones who deserve to be complained about, and parents are the ones who deserve to be educated. An 11-year-old boy in Yuhang was so angry with his father that he ran away from home. Because when he comes home every day, his father is either scrolling through Douyin or playing games. He does nothing and just lies down all day long. I wanted him to play with me, but my father said, \”I don\’t have time, let\’s go.\” But he wanted to play with his mobile phone, but his father refused and said he would beat him. There is also a child in the first grade of junior high school who couldn\’t help complaining about his parents in his composition: \”I was doing homework there, and my parents were playing with their mobile phones next to me. Every day when I came home, I would say how tired I was, and I couldn\’t bear to let go of my mobile phone. ; I have the nerve to say that I love playing with mobile phones, but the total time I play with mobile phones is not as much as one day as you.\” What scares most about education is that parents play with mobile phones and play mahjong every day, but require their children to study hard; parents themselves have never opened a book , but forces children to study every day. Zhao Jinyun, a member of the National Committee of the Chinese People\’s Political Consultative Conference, also pointedly pointed out: Many parents also realize the importance of reading, but they just can\’t do it themselves. Parents who ask their children to study while playing with their mobile phones cannot raise children who love reading. Children will not grow into what you expect, but will grow into what you expect. Liu Yang talked about his experience as a teacher in \”Annual Comedy Competition\”. He had a student who was very careless every time in class and always liked to bury his head under the desk.Make trouble with your face. So he thought about having a good talk with his parents during the parent-teacher meeting. As a result, on the day of the parent-teacher meeting, as soon as Liu Yang opened the door and entered the classroom, he recognized the student\’s parent at a glance – because the parent lowered his head and played with his mobile phone under the desk, which was exactly the same as the student. Parents are their children\’s first teachers, and family is their children\’s first classroom. If parents lie on the sofa every day with their mobile phones close to them, how can their children be willing to take the initiative to sit at the desk? When children are growing up, what they are best at is observation. They will observe their parents\’ words and deeds, the way they deal with things, and their living habits, and then slowly internalize it into their own behavior. This reminds me of a little story: The mother crab asked the little crab: \”My child, why do you always crawl sideways? Why don\’t you walk straight?\” The little crab was very aggrieved: \”Mom, I always press your It\’s going like this!\” Although the story is simple, the truth is thought-provoking. Just as some parents always ask: \”What should I do if my child plays mobile phones and games all day long and is beaten and scolded?\” Look at the parents of outstanding children and ask them how they educate their children. , they usually wave their hands and say: \”Actually, we haven\’t done anything, it all depends on the children\’s consciousness.\” The biggest difference between these two types of parents is often that the former only sees the children\’s problems and puts all their goals and expectations on the children. He tried every means to force his children, but he never knew how to reflect on himself. The latter seem to be doing nothing, but in fact they hide greater wisdom: they do not work hard on their children, but pay more attention to their own learning, allowing the children to follow in their own footsteps and move towards excellence step by step. If you want to raise \”other people\’s children\”, you must first learn to be \”other people\’s parents\”. If you want to raise a child who loves to learn, you must first be a learning parent. Because the child may not grow up to be what you expect, but it will definitely grow into what you are. A good family atmosphere is the breeding ground for cultivating academic masters. I once read this passage: If in a family, the parents do not want to make progress, do not strive for improvement, and even have problems with their behavior, then why should the children be expected to excel rather than learn from the past? What about the black man? For children with good grades and those with poor grades, their parents\’ status at home is completely different. \”Dong Jiyang\”, the all-round academic master, ranked first in the province in both high school and college entrance examinations. Her parents never forced her, but only used actions to influence her. As she said herself: \”Occasionally I get tired of studying and don\’t want to read. My parents also noticed it, but they didn\’t say anything more. Turn off the TV and sit down and read a book. I saw them all reading, so I was embarrassed to stop reading.\” The role of parents in educating their children is only the tip of the iceberg. Parents\’ example and demonstration are the best nutrients for children\’s growth. Someone once asked Mr. Yang Jiang: \”What kind of education do you think is a \’good education\’?\” Mr. Yang Jiang said that he was actually influenced by his parents and turned from being naughty to studious. Her father spoke in an emotional and logical manner, and one comment after another in Shenbao was made. Yang Jiang was both impressed and curious, so she asked her father for tips. His father said: \”What\’s the secret? Just read more and read good books.\” Mr. Yang Jiang\’s mother, in addition to taking care of the whole family,When I have time, I like to read classical literature and modern novels, and I always read them with gusto. Under the influence of his eyes and ears, Yang Jiang followed the example of his parents and read the books at home, and he became fascinated from then on. Educationist Makarenko said: \”Don\’t think that education is only when you give lessons and orders. It is education at every moment of life, even when you are not present.\” Educate children instead of shouting at the top of your lungs , it is better to create an atmosphere and show off. Letting children stay with books since childhood and feel the fragrance of books is the best infiltration for children. Giving children a positive family atmosphere that loves reading is the best way to cultivate academic masters. In a family, each label of diligence, strictness, self-discipline, and motivation will subtly influence and shape children. The best support parents can give their children is to cultivate themselves. Educator Ushensky said: \”Role examples are a very beneficial sunshine to children\’s hearts, and nothing can replace this sunshine.\” Family education has a positive impact on children\’s hearts. For parents, the first step should be self-education. Good parents will use their own example to support their children\’s lives. Yi Ge, who is studying for a doctorate at Peking University, was an Internet addict in junior high school. Because he was addicted to games all day long, his grades plummeted. Faced with such a passive, degenerate, rebellious and difficult-to-manage son, his father did not beat or scold him, but did three things to successfully help him quit his Internet addiction, and finally he was admitted to Peking University. First, be strict with yourself and teach by example instead of words. In order to prevent his son from being harmed by the game, the father took the whole family to cut off the Internet and TV. The son did his homework while the father read. Second, accompany the whole reading process and replace preaching with care. His son was under a lot of pressure to study and was often in a bad mood. His father helped him patiently guide him, adjust slowly, and face various difficulties with his son. Third, keep learning and strive to cultivate yourself. My father did not force his children to learn, but chose to improve himself, learn how to educate and guide his children correctly, and insisted on sharing what he had learned and felt with his son before going to bed every day. Bai Yansong once said: \”Being a parent does not automatically mean you are a qualified parent. Parenting is a profession that requires lifelong learning.\” Just as someone compares the process of educating children to the process of watering children. If we only have a glass of water ourselves, the most we can give our children is one glass. If we have a bucket of water ourselves, the most we can give our children is one bucket. Once we have finished giving, our own pool will be empty, and the child will have no choice but to dry up and die. If you want to provide your children with a steady stream of nourishment, you must have a spring of living water, so as to ensure that it is inexhaustible. And this spring of living water comes from the cultivation of myself by my parents. Only when parents become good enough can children stand on your shoulders and reach a higher level. The writer Liu Na once said something that she strongly agrees with: the so-called discipline means to control oneself first, and then to manage others; tutoring means to teach oneself first, and then to teach children; righteousness means to correct oneself first, and then radiate to future generations. Education cannot be undone and restarted. If you find it troublesome and want to be lazy today, tomorrow you will have a child who is equally lazy and unwilling to make progress. If you want to raise an outstanding child, start from the moment you enter your home.Start now: turn off your cell phone, pick up a book, accompany you attentively, and supervise strictly. Fan Deng Reading Club’s Five Compulsory Courses in Family Education for New Parents [Video + Audio] Don’t wait until you are old and your children are disabled to regret that the role you have least done well in your life is that of a parent. mutual encouragement.