Good parent-child education is to let go of your children without letting them go.

Both \”helicopter\” and \”hands-off shopkeepers\” are not conducive to children\’s growth. There are two completely opposite situations in family education today: one is the \”helicopter parent\” who wants to keep an eye on their children around the clock and arranges everything extremely carefully. Trying to completely control the child\’s growth and development process. Another situation is that they don\’t care at all and let things go. Parents basically don\’t care about their children\’s growth and performance. Some parents even completely throw the responsibility of educating their children to the school, thinking that the school is a specialized educational institution and they just leave their children to the school. All is well. Both types of family education methods are not conducive to the growth of children. They are caused by parents failing to position their roles well and correctly grasp the boundaries of the parent-child relationship. \”Helicopter parents\” invisibly regard their children as their own private property or accessories. They do not regard the child as an independent individual. They feel that since the child is born by himself, he has the right to decide and control everything about the child. The famous poet Gibran wrote in a poem about children: Your children are not actually your children, they are children born of life\’s desire for itself… They are by your side, but they do not belong to you. What you can give them is your love, but not your thoughts, because they have their own thoughts. Children are independent individuals equal to their parents, and one of the most important goals of education is to cultivate independent personality. Only when parents learn to let go appropriately and give their children the opportunity to grow independently and experience the world can they help their children grow better. The \”hands-off\” approach to family education is another extreme, in which parents fail to fulfill their responsibilities. A child is like a seedling. It needs a gardener to water, fertilize, and weed in order to grow healthily and robustly. Otherwise, it is likely to die midway or grow into a crooked tree. When we bring children into this world, we should shoulder the responsibility of being parents, give them love and attention from the time they are born, and give them help when needed. Only then can the children get the nourishment they deserve as they grow and flourish. vitality. After the children go to school, the school only assumes part of the educational responsibility, which does not mean that the parents can completely let go. Must-read parenting books for parents recommended: Don’t Think You Understand Your Child’s Heart e-book download. Parents still need to pay attention to their children’s status in study, life, emotions and other aspects, and be their companions and strong backers as they grow. Model, habits and emotions are the responsibilities of parents. At the previous two sessions of the National People\’s Congress, the suggestion that parents \”hold certificates to work\” attracted attention and heated discussion. Raising life and raising children into adults can be said to be the most important and arduous work in the world. On the one hand, we must respect children\’s independence and give them sufficient space to grow. On the other hand, we must also fulfill our responsibilities and duties as parents. We must not let our children have their way, or completely transfer the responsibility of educating their children to the school. Teaching by example is more important than words. Parents should set an example and role model for their children. As a parent, the first thing you must not let go of is your own requirements, and always monitor the impact of your words and deeds on your children. Parental relationship, family atmosphere, parents’ mental health status and attitude towards life, etc., all have a subtle impact on children.Influence. The role of parents as an example cannot be replaced by other education, nor can it be provided by other environments. The best tutor is to set an example for your children with your own behavior. The appearance of a child is a mirror of the parent, and the child\’s problems often reflect the parents\’ problems. So before we make demands on our children, we can first reflect on ourselves: Have I fulfilled the demands I made on my children? Do my usual words and deeds set a good example for my children? Pay attention to cultivating children\’s habits so that the influence of tutoring can last longer. In family education, there is another thing that parents cannot let go of, which is cultivating children\’s habits. As the saying goes, habits determine character, and character determines destiny. The development of expression, reading and exercise habits will have a significant impact on children\’s lifelong development. Good language expression habits play an important role in children\’s interpersonal communication and interaction. Some children speak irritably and in a stiff tone, which makes people uncomfortable. The reason is that they have not developed the habit of speaking well. In daily life, parents should try to avoid verbal violence at home, pay attention to the tone and method when criticizing their children, and do not \”jump to conclusions\” or \”label\” easily. The habit of reading is the path to excellence. Once a child starts reading, he enters a state of independent learning. Reading can not only increase knowledge and broaden horizons, but also enhance people\’s ability to understand, express and think. Practicing the child skill of reading well will benefit your children for life. Adhering to the habit of exercising not only makes children physically strong, but also cultivates teamwork awareness, rule awareness, and emotional control in sports. It can also shape people\’s perseverance and character, which cannot be replaced by other subject studies and activities. It is best to guide children to develop one or two sports talents or skills that will last a lifetime. Fathers have innate advantages in sports and should play a greater role in cultivating their children\’s love for sports. Pay attention to the child\’s emotional state and provide timely guidance and relief. Some parents think that children can grow up healthily as long as they are well fed, clothed and not sick. In fact, this is not the case. Children\’s mental health is also very important and has a huge impact on their growth. No matter how busy you are at work and how limited your energy is, it is best to pay attention to your child\’s emotions after he comes home, and try to create a relatively harmonious and relaxed family atmosphere for your child. The child is in a tense and competitive atmosphere at school. When he returns home, he should relieve the pressure and moderately adjust the pace of study and life. When you feel that your child is in emotional distress, understand the cause in a timely manner and provide guidance to help your child get out of their spiritual predicament. Only when parents let go of their children appropriately can they have room to grow. There must be boundaries in their love for their children. In life, many parents always pay too much attention to their children. \”Care leads to chaos\”, which eventually turns into control, causing the children to lose the space and autonomy for growth. Parents can start from the following aspects to overcome their desire to control and learn to let go appropriately and wisely. 1. Don’t take over your children’s academic tasks. As parents, you care most about your children’s studies. You always want to do your best to help your children’s academic progress. This is human nature, but there must be boundaries and appropriate methods for providing help. Even if the parents themselves have high academic qualifications and strong knowledge background, there areYou should be able to tutor your children in their studies, but you should not overstep the boundaries of your duties, supervise or supervise your children\’s studies too closely. Children should be allowed to complete learning tasks independently as much as possible, so as not to cause children to become dependent and lose their learning motivation and problem-solving ability, but also to help teachers grasp the children\’s true academic level. Parents should allow their children to have the opportunity to make mistakes and experience failure, so that children can learn to grow from failure. Don\’t become a supervisor or learning assistant for your child\’s learning, but become a companion and grow with your child. 2. Don’t decide the interests and hobbies for your children. When it comes to cultivating children’s interests or specialties, many parents tend to start from themselves and design and decide the direction of their children’s interests according to their own preferences or utilitarian purposes, without considering the children’s talents and true characteristics. Interest causes children to suffer. Parents should provide abundant opportunities to expose their children to various projects; in the process of continuous attempts, children will gradually focus on and find their true interests and hobbies as time goes by and age increases. Only true love can stimulate people\’s potential and creativity, as well as perseverance and perseverance. Parents can provide suggestions, but they should fully trust their children\’s ability to distinguish and make choices, and should not make everything for their children. 3. Don’t interfere too much in their children’s school life. Parents should respect the professionalism and regularity of school education. They can make suggestions for problems in school education but should not interfere too much. Even if you care about your children, don\’t criticize the school or teachers without fully understanding the situation. This will only have a negative impact on the children. Pay attention to problems your children encounter in school in a timely manner but don\’t overreact. For example, if a child encounters bullying on campus, parents must provide protection and support. However, if the child only has minor conflicts with classmates, do not overreact or even escalate the conflict. It can provide reasonable suggestions for resolving conflicts and also exercise children\’s ability to deal with interpersonal relationships. Parents should not rush ahead because of their desire to protect their children. Children will one day learn to face the wind and rain alone. Educating children is a long and arduous process. Being a smart parent is not an easy task. You must not only shoulder the responsibilities of a parent, but also grasp the boundaries of the parent-child relationship. All in all, never let go where you can\’t let go, and be willing to let go where you should let go.