Grandma takes care of them during the day, and mother takes care of them at night. How much impact does the \”double standard\” have on the children?

With the accelerated pace of modern society, many new mothers have to return to work after finishing their maternity leave. At this time, who will take care of the children becomes the top priority for the family. For most families, hiring a nanny is a good choice, but due to financial reasons, they have to choose to let the elderly help take care of the children. According to relevant data, nearly 70% of families choose this intergenerational parenting method. Intergenerational parenting has become the standard for many families. For parents of children, this method is undoubtedly the most beneficial. They can leave their children to the elderly with confidence, and the couple can work with peace of mind and reduce financial pressure. However, the disadvantages of intergenerational parenting are also obvious. Benefits: Economy and peace of mind Intergenerational parenting first solves the economic problem. Allowing the elderly to take care of their children allows parents to continue working and keep family income stable. In addition, the elderly taking care of their children also provides parents with peace of mind. They believe that their parents can provide their children with a sense of security and a familiar environment, thereby alleviating their worries. Disadvantages: Doting and Conflict of Concepts However, there are also significant disadvantages to intergenerational parenting. Elderly people tend to spoil their children, which can have a negative impact on their children\’s personalities, causing them to become selfish and willful. In addition, the elderly have more outdated educational concepts and find it difficult to keep up with the needs of the times. If things go on like this, children may become more dependent on the elderly and create a estrangement in the parent-child relationship with their parents. 02 How to find a balance in intergenerational parenting Facing the challenge of intergenerational parenting, is there a compromise? Of course there is. Parents need to pay attention to two aspects: clear positioning of roles and consistency of principles. Parents are not hands-off managers. In intergenerational parenting, the role of parents is crucial. Letting the elderly help look after children does not mean that parents can easily be the hands-off shopkeepers. On the contrary, parents should be more vigilant, especially in the early stages of intergenerational parenting, and use limited companionship time to give their children high-quality companionship and love. Mother plays a vital role in the growth of her child. If a child relies too much on his grandmother, the parent-child relationship with his mother will become estranged. At this time, if the mother appears as the leader again, the child may not agree with it, which is detrimental to the child\’s long-term development. Therefore, mothers should interact more with their children and maintain a close relationship within the limited time. Likewise, a father cannot be a hands-off shopkeeper. Children need a complete father figure to give them a sense of omnipotence. Grandpa or grandpa are unable to provide such an image due to limitations in physical strength or cultural level. Therefore, fathers need to interact more with their children after get off work to establish a deep parent-child relationship. The principles must be consistent. In intergenerational parenting, the parenting principles of parents and the elderly must be consistent. Spanning generations can easily lead to elders doting on their children, mainly because of inconsistencies in parenting principles. Communicate with the elderly in advance about the principles of raising children to avoid the negative effects of doting. Different people have different understandings of what doting is. Therefore, parents and the elderly need to fully discuss every little thing and reach a consensus. This kind of communication and discussion, although difficult, is crucial to a child\’s long-term development. Raising children requires a complete set of behavioral norms. Parents cannot have just one set of rules.A set for grandparents. Otherwise, children will feel confused and easily develop a \”two-faced\” character, which is not conducive to their growth. Only by unifying the parenting concepts between parents and the elderly can we provide a stable and consistent growth environment for children. The beginning stages of intergenerational parenting are the most difficult. There will be conflicts between parents and the elderly, and between parents and children. Resolving these contradictions is the key to getting intergenerational parenting on the right track. Parents need to pay more attention to the performance of the elderly in the process of raising children, and communicate and make adjustments in a timely manner. When encountering conflicts, parents should adopt a positive attitude to solve the problem, cooperate with the elderly, and face the challenges of parenting together. In this way, family life can be harmonious and happy, and the environment for children\’s growth can be healthier. Intergenerational parenting is a helpless choice, but as long as parents and the elderly reach an agreement, clarify their role positioning, and maintain good communication, intergenerational parenting can also provide a healthy and stable growth environment for children. The financial burden of life forces many families to rely on the elderly to help take care of their children. However, as long as family members understand and cooperate with each other, they can find a balance in intergenerational parenting and allow children to grow up healthily surrounded by love.