Happy families are all similar: mothers are loved, fathers are respected, and children are accepted

The opening line of Tolstoy\’s \”Anna Karenina\” is very shocking: \”Happy families are all alike, and every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.\” What are the similarities between happy families? Qing Lanjun thought that a happy family should be one where the mother is pampered, the father is respected, and the children are accepted. 1 The mother is pampered, and the family is happier. The female writer Irie Zhijie once told such a heart-warming excerpt: When the subway arrived at the station, there was a vacant seat next to me, and there was a little boy about three years old running around. Come over, sit down, and then say to the car door: \”Mom, come here quickly, there is a seat here!\” Soon a young couple came up. The wife held her husband\’s hand and said to her son with a smile: \”There is only one You can just sit down, your dad and I will stand.\” The little boy said, \”I\’m a boy, so I don\’t have to sit down. Mom, you can sit down.\” Unable to withstand the little boy\’s request, the mom sat down, and the dad rewarded her. He rubbed his son\’s little head. From their chat, I roughly understood that in this family of three, the mother took her son out to play and took the father to work. The son kept beeping and said to his father: \”Can you play with me with your mother?\” The father comforted his son and said: \”You have to be good. When I get off work, I will pick you and your mother up immediately and take you to eat your best meal.\” I like banana splits.\” The little boy was still not very happy and kept rubbing his father\’s hand without saying anything else. Later, when my father arrived at the station and was about to get off the bus, he suddenly said to his son seriously: \”You must take good care of my wife. You are not allowed to cry, make trouble, or mess with her. She is my wife, understand? I will make money for you.\” !” I saw everyone in the car laughing, looking at the little boy kindly as he made the promise like an adult. If Mr. Qinglan were here, I would simply want to applaud this father. Because doting on your wife is the basic rule of family happiness. A father once asked Professor Medina, a famous American neuroscientist, for advice: Professor, tell me, how can I help my son get into Harvard University? Medina replied: From now on, you go home and love your wife. Education expert Sun Yunxiao later asked Medina specifically about this matter: Why did you let that father go home to love his wife? Medina replied: In the United States, the best predictor of academic achievement is the emotional stability of the family. Family emotional stability is largely predicted by the wife\’s mood. In short: the more emotionally stable the wife is, the more emotionally stable the family will be, and the better the children will do. The best way to keep your wife emotionally stable is to pamper her. A woman who lives in her husband\’s love has a soft, gentle and stable heart. She will treat everyone around her with tolerance and create a pleasant and warm family atmosphere. On the contrary, a woman who has endured her husband\’s indifference, complaints, and irritability for a long time will transfer these negative emotions to other people in the family, and the family will never be peaceful and full of resentment. There is a well-known proverb abroad, \”Happy wife happy life\”. Translated into Chinese, it means \”My wife is happy and my life is comfortable.\” This sentence should become the motto of every Chinese husband. 2. When a father is respected, he loves his mother more.In China, there is a story about \”the queen knocking on the door\”. Once, Queen Victoria had a quarrel with her husband, and her husband returned to the bedroom alone and stayed behind closed doors. When the Queen returned to her bedroom, she had no choice but to knock on the door. The husband asked inside: \”Who?\” Victoria replied proudly: \”The Queen.\” Unexpectedly, there was no door open and no sound inside. She had to knock on the door again. Someone asked again: \”Who?\” \”Victoria.\” The Queen replied. There was still no movement inside. The Queen had to knock again. Inside he asked again: \”Who?\” The queen followed suit and replied softly: \”Your wife.\” This time, the door opened. Women need pampering and men need respect. Hong Kong female star Cai Shaofen knows how to get along with husband and wife. Her husband Zhang Jin is far less famous than her, but she has never underestimated her husband and shows off her husband everywhere. When Sun Li and Cai Shaofen were filming \”The Legend of Zhen Huan\” together, they were interviewed by the media and couldn\’t help but break the news that Cai Shaofen was \”praising her husband\” on the set every day. In Cai Shaofen\’s eyes, the Gu family is Zhang Jin\’s greatest advantage, and she praised him for being handsome, good at acting, singing, and dancing. \”In short, he is good at everything.\” After receiving encouragement and respect from his wife, Zhang Jin finally \” \”Feeling proud\”, he won the Hong Kong Film Awards for Best Supporting Actor for \”The Grandmaster\” and \”Ma San\”. When speaking about his acceptance speech, Zhang Jin choked up a little: \”My wife is Cai Shaofen. Some people say that I will rely on her for the rest of my life.\” , I want to say, yes, my lifelong happiness depends on her.\” When saying this, Cai Shaofen sat in the audience and burst into tears. Dr. Emerson Ergerich is a well-known expert on marriage issues. In more than 30 years of marriage counseling, Emerson discovered the true meaning of running a family and marriage-love and respect. If a husband does not love his wife, the wife will not respect him. Conversely, if a wife does not respect her husband, the husband will not love his wife, and the marriage will fall into a \”crazy cycle.\” Cai Shaofen is happy because her respect broke this vicious circle and gained Zhang Jin\’s deeper love. A woman who is pampered will be radiant and gentle as jade. A man who is respected will be full of energy and energetic. The more men pamper women, the more women will respect men. The more women respect men, the more men will love women. This is true of love, and so is running a family. The wife respects her husband, the husband loves his wife more, and the family becomes warmer. 3 children are accepted, and the family is really a family. Teacher Liu Chenglian, a family education instructor, once met a little boy who did not dare to go home. It was the final exam at that time, and the fifth grade of a certain elementary school took the Chinese language test in the morning. A little boy’s parents had prepared the meal early and were waiting for their son to come home. Seeing that other children have returned, their children have yet to be seen. At first they thought the child was late because he was playful, so they put the cooked rice in the pot and waited for the child. However, it was almost an hour after school ended, and there was still no sign of the child. The couple became anxious and quickly split up to look for him. When they found the child, he was wandering outside the school classroom with his head lowered, as if he wanted to enter the classroom, but it didn\’t look like he was going to enter the classroom. The little boy’s father is a very responsible person, and he specifically approached Teacher Liu Chenglian about this matter.Ask the child what happened and what should he do? Teacher Liu Chenglian learned that this father usually doted on his son and often took his son out to play, but when his son failed to do well in the exam, he would beat and scold him. So Teacher Liu Chenglian said to him: \”I know deeply that you must love your child. Everything you do to him is for his own good. You do it because you hate iron and cannot become steel.\” But, do you know what your child hopes for you? He must hope that you can be good to him when he is not studying, and that you can be good to him when he is studying, even when he does not do well in the exam. He needs to be consistent Love.\” This is a common problem among many parents who cannot love and accept their children unconditionally. But in the eyes of a child, the criterion for a happy family is precisely whether he can be accepted. A psychological institution conducted a special survey and asked children of different ages from kindergarten to college to speak freely about their definition of a happy family. The first three items are: parental love, parents fully respecting one\’s wishes, and parents truly caring and appreciating oneself. In fact, each of us has the same definition of home. We often compare home to mother’s arms, because home can give people unconditional love and acceptance, as warm as mother’s embrace. Home is the only place you can go back to without a reason; it makes you feel that no matter what happens, it is the place where you can accept me; it is the place where even if you are a parent, you still want to go back to your parents when your life reaches a low point. A place to regain your strength. A good family should be one where everyone can get comfort. If a home can allow mothers to be pampered and fathers to be respected, but cannot allow children to be accepted, then that home is not a perfect and happy home. There is a question on Zhihu: \”What is it like to have a very happy native family?\” Netizens have different answers, but the answers are similar: \”When I was in elementary school, the parents of my elementary school classmates came to pick my classmates up arm in arm, leaving the rest of us to wait and admire. Then that classmate’s home became the most beautiful family in our hearts.” “When I was a child, I was not forced to attend any cram school. Now that I am facing career planning, they have never tried to persuade me to take the public exam or take the teacher’s certificate. In the early morning of New Year\’s Eve last year, I sent a text message to my parents, saying that I don\’t want to be your little cotton-padded jacket, I want to be your military coat. The next day, my mother texted me back and said, a little cotton-padded jacket is enough, it looks good. It’s not cold yet. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. The text message my dad sent back was that your mother and I can take care of ourselves, and your biggest task is to let yourself live a happy life.” Family is the mother’s world and the father’s kingdom , a children’s paradise. This is what a happy family should look like.