Happy mothers have these three abilities

Some people say that mothers are the hardest working people, taking care of their children 24/7, all year round; some say that mothers are the most timid people, not worrying about their children’s food, clothing, housing and transportation; others say that from the time of their children, From the moment she was born, the mother became the most anxious person. Since becoming a mother, my happiness has plummeted and my anxiety has skyrocketed. Many people feel this way, but I want to say that every mother deserves to be happier. Work hard to make money and give as much as you can. Not long ago, I spent more than 10,000 yuan to enroll my 2-year-old child in an early childhood education class. Three years ago, this was something I would have never dared to think about. At that time, my career had hit rock bottom, I had changed jobs, I was earning a meager salary, and I still owed a debt. I was working to pay off my credit cards and was pregnant with my baby at the same time. After giving birth to the baby, I returned to my husband\’s house in the county town for confinement. Seeing that my maternity leave was coming to an end, people around me advised me to just stay and work in the county town. I would have a house, a car, and someone to help take care of the baby. But I just couldn\’t give in. I wanted to go back to the big city where I worked before. I found a new rental house and called my mother to help me take care of the children. Life was tight at that time, and every time I just let my child sit on the stroller for a while, I was reluctant to put in a dollar coin for her. When buying clothes for my child, I usually buy them online or only when they are on sale. Always one size larger than needed, just so that the child can wear it for an extra year. Now, three years have passed, I have changed my job and my salary has been increased. Because I insist on writing, my spare time income is also constantly increasing. After a rough calculation, my current monthly income is exactly ten times what it was three years ago. Secretly happy, everything is fine. The most obvious thing is that I have become more and more generous when it comes to spending money on my children. I am willing to sign up for more than 100 yuan for a one-hour early education class for her. I try to choose breathable cotton clothes and shoes that are helpful for the child. As your child grows and develops, try to choose toys of good quality rather than cheap ones. Because of the increase in income, I am willing to meet my children\’s needs as much as possible within my ability, whether it is toys, meals, travel, or future education. The financial abundance has allowed me to be more calm and calm on the road to becoming a mother. I recently read the book \”Mom Who Makes Money\” and I was deeply moved. The author Crystal tells in the book that many working mothers and stay-at-home mothers began to work hard by exploring their own interests and gained several times more income than before. Her own experience is also very inspiring. She started out as a salesperson in a grocery store and sold things on an online mall in her spare time. Later, she unfortunately sprained her foot and completely quit her job at home. So, she tried various ways to make money, experienced some failures, and gradually became more and more successful. She also collaborated with friends on consulting projects, started blogs and wrote articles, started training courses, wrote books, etc. Within a few years, she not only got rid of the previous constraints, but also opened her own company and achieved financial freedom. Talking about money may be vulgar, but for a mother, it is very realistic. Do you still remember the little girl Wang Fengya who died of retinoblastoma? What mother doesn\’t love her children? I prefer to believe that it is poverty that takes away the lives of children. In the face of illness, mother\’s love becomes pale and feeble. Saw an articleRegarding the report about the child\’s mother, Yang Meiqin, she cried to reporters: \”I don\’t think I can do it.\” She couldn\’t take her child to a big hospital for treatment because their family\’s income was less than 20,000 yuan and the deposit for the child\’s treatment was not enough. It only requires 20,000 yuan, and the amount raised through online crowdfunding is only 38,000 yuan. For a mother trapped in poverty, money is a heavy shackle, cruelly locking her love for her children. Because of poverty, mothers are likely to lose opportunities to keep their children with them. Nothing could be more cruel. The mother\’s financial ability means whether she can give her child a chance to have a baby in times of crisis. Women are inherently weak, but motherhood makes them strong. Every mother hopes that she can be stronger and stronger, not only in terms of inner strength, but also in terms of financial ability. As the book \”Why We Can\’t Have Everything\” says, with money, we can buy a safety net that can relieve stress, provide various resources, and enhance flexibility and repair against the ruthless impact of fate. Feng Chen, a good friend who has grown up on his own and led his children’s circle of friends with love, gave birth to a child a few years ago. Because there was no old man to take care of him, he resigned and became a housewife, focusing on taking care of the child’s food, drink, and toilet. When the child was 3 years old, while playing with a good friend, his friend asked: My parents are both teachers. What does your mother do? \”My mother is a cleaner.\” The child\’s casual words stung her mother\’s heart inexplicably. She thought, it\’s time for me to do something. When her children entered kindergarten, Feng Chen started writing. It took her more than a year to write the hit article \”Thank You for Being My Child\” which has been read over 100 million times online. Today, she is not only a signed author on major platforms, but a new book is about to be published. For her, reading and writing are not only a means of making a living, but also free her from housework and allow her to have self-esteem and growth. As mothers grow, raising children becomes easier. For example, when the child cried because the balloon exploded, Feng Chen did not roar or collapse. She squatted down and told the child: The balloon burst by itself, and it is not your problem. Mom will make more cute animal-shaped balloons next time. For you. Starting from accepting the child\’s emotions, she can always pull the child out of bad moods. When the child went out to eat and made a lot of noise, she once wanted to scold him irritably, but when the words came to her lips, she swallowed them because she understood that being \”crazy\” was just a way for a five-year-old child to explore the world. When the mother\’s mentality is peaceful, the child will be happier. There is a saying: First-level mothers are role models, second-level mothers are coaches, and third-level mothers are nannies. A mother who only stays by her side, lacks communication and guidance, and often gets angry with her children is no better than a nanny. If she just educates her children in a rigid way and orders them to obey orders, such a mother is like a coach who can teach her children a lot of knowledge, but cannot teach her children the ability to love. A truly good mother should be a role model mother who not only accompanies and educates her children, but also sets an example and influences her children in a subtle way. As the writer Daniel Defoe said in the book \”Robinson Crusoe\”: \”A person who wants to educate others is the most effective person.\”The most effective way is to educate yourself first. \”The German philosopher Jaspers once said: Education is the education of people\’s souls, rather than the accumulation of intellectual knowledge and understanding. The essence of education means: one tree shakes another tree, one cloud shakes another cloud , one soul awakens another soul. When a mother lives hard and contentedly, with an extremely clear heart, she naturally understands the true meaning of a happy life, is willing to respect the laws of her children\’s growth, and knows how to water and enlighten their children\’s hearts with love. Let go Anxiety, every way of living has its own reasons. My friend Yuanyuan is the hardest-working mother I have ever seen. Three days before giving birth, she was still working. One month after giving birth, she began to make plans and connect with clients, as if It was as if she had never given birth to a child. Not long ago, I went to see her. I thought she was busy with work again, but unexpectedly, she was holding the child, babbling and singing. \”I resigned. \”When she said this, I couldn\’t believe it. She said helplessly: What can I do? Neither parents can come to take care of the children, and I don\’t feel comfortable hiring a nanny, so I have to take care of them myself. Although she is a little aggrieved, she She accepted it calmly, and told me excitedly: I have recently bought a lot of parenting books, and I plan to read them while taking care of my children, and strive to become a parent-child counselor. When she chats with me, she never forgets to turn her head and smile at the child on the bed. , the child, who was only a few months old, sucked his fingers and smiled sweetly at us. Thinking about that moment makes my heart warm. In order to better accompany the child, Yuanyuan is willing to sacrifice her career. I am very happy. Envious, but not all mothers choose this way. Another mother, Cui Cui, has a completely different approach. She is a typical career woman. She is not only an independent director of an investment company, but also founded her own company. Leading the team, holding meetings, On a business trip… Cui Cui was so busy. After a week of continuous business trip, her husband told her that the child had had a fever for several days. When she rushed into the house, the child said aggrievedly, \”Mom, let\’s go\” and pushed her away. At that moment, she was extremely uncomfortable and told the child, \”I miss you so much. Please let me stay with you for a while.\” The child gradually became soft and hung on her from behind. She tried not to say the words \” Mom is going on a business trip again tomorrow.\” Cui Cui is not without grievances, but she said: \”I chose all this. \”When she felt that everything at the moment was her own choice, she felt freedom to a great extent, and this freedom was the source of strength, giving her infinite support, like a light in dark moments. Although she was very busy , but she always takes time to tell her children stories when she is at home, and takes her children to travel abroad every year. The child has already accepted her busy mother. When she went out to play with her grandpa on weekends, the child said to her sensibly: \”Mom, you are the boss. , so you have to work from home. \”In this world, there are countless mothers who long for a balance between career and family. They naively want to be the perfect mother, as if they are a god who can hold their babies and work with one hand. But the cruel reality tells us that it is not possible at all. Maybe. If you are too harsh on yourself, it will bring you endless anxiety and even despair. When we give up our career for our children, some people will ridicule: \”Be careful of becoming yellow face.\”\”My mother-in-law will be abandoned by her husband in the future\”; when we have little time to spend with our children because of our careers, someone else accuses us: \”How can you be so incompetent as a mother?\” \”Whether it\’s other people\’s gossip or inner struggles, they are of no real use. Instead, they make us confused. It\’s better to let go of anxiety and walk the road ahead with peace of mind, whether it\’s a full-time mother or a working mother, every kind of The way you live has its own reasons. When a mother truly lets go of her inner anxiety and learns to accept the reality calmly, her happiness will naturally overflow on her face. I once heard a story where a puppy asked its mother: \”What is happiness?\” \”My mother said: \”Happiness is the tip of your tail. \”So, the puppy went back to bite the tip of its tail every day, but no matter how hard it tried, it still failed. The puppy asked unhappily: \”Mom, why can\’t I pursue happiness? \”My mother said: \”You don\’t need to deliberately chase happiness. As long as you raise your head and move forward, happiness will always follow you. \”As a mother, this is not the case. When the mother raises her head and strives to move forward happily, our children, like the tip of their own tails, will also become happy with us.