He committed suicide without being allowed to play with his mobile phone, and even took his mother\’s life. Why is the child so fragile?

Talk about a sad event and an important topic. Yesterday, my WeChat group was discussing the tragedy of a mother and her son committing suicide by jumping off a building one after another because of a trivial incident. The general situation is as follows: The child is a second-year student in the Middle School Affiliated to Beijing Institute of Technology. Because his academic performance was not satisfactory, his father confiscated his mobile phone. After asking for the mobile phone to no avail, the child chose to commit suicide by jumping off the building. Two days later, his mother also died due to the loss of her son. He committed suicide by jumping off the building. The picture below is a report material circulated on the Internet by the Beijing Haidian District Education Committee, describing the process in detail: I believe many people will be as shocked as me. A small matter of being able to play with a mobile phone has actually taken away two fresh lives. I can sympathize with this mother\’s grief, but maybe she can\’t think about it for a moment; but how could a second-year junior high school student decide to commit suicide because his cell phone was confiscated? From the report materials of the Haidian Education Commission, we can see that although this child has average academic performance and is a bit naughty, he looks normal in other aspects, and he even feels sunny to me. It seems incredible, but this is not an isolated incident. If you comb through relevant news reports, you will find that many children commit suicide for sad reasons: \”Because dad won\’t let them watch TV\”, \”Because they didn\’t finish their homework on time\”, \”Because the teacher confiscated their mobile phones\”… These may seem unfair. Calculating things can often take away young lives! So, what is the reason that causes flowers to wither prematurely when they should be blooming? There are many reasons, maybe poor communication between parents and children, maybe the stress cannot be resolved, maybe the guidance of adolescence is not done well… But there is one important factor that cannot be ignored. Children have poor psychological endurance – in psychology, this is called frustration resistance. Quotation is too low. “Frustration-resistant quotient”, also known as reverse quotient, was proposed by Paul Stotts, a White House business consultant and American training guru. It refers to the way people react when facing adversity, that is, the ability to face setbacks, get out of trouble, and overcome difficulties. In English, it is called Adversity Quotient, or AQ for short. Yu Minhong once said that it is much more important for parents to pass on adversity to their children than to ask them to get into college well. Because the fate of a child is composed of multiple factors. If you think about this clearly, you will pay attention to whether your child has adverse quotient, whether he can withstand the blow, and more importantly, whether he can maintain his enthusiasm for life after the blow. . Some experts also summed it up this way: 100% success = 20% IQ + 80% emotional intelligence and frustration resistance. So, what are the main aspects of a person’s frustration resistance quotient? Paul Stotts boils it down to four points: 1. Control. When storms come, can you effectively control them; 2. Attribution. Can you face setbacks head-on, find out the reasons for failure and bear the consequences; 3. Extension. Can you effectively control your bad emotions and prevent them from extending to all aspects of your life? 4. Endurance. Sometimes the storm lasts for a long time and it\’s hard to hold on. Regarding how to cultivate children\’s frustration quotient, Paul Stotts gave the following suggestions: 1. Encourage education and encourage children to try new things as much as possible; 2. Tolerate mistakes and tell children to enjoy the process, not the results;3. Take your children out more often to see the world. 4. Challenge difficult tasks. If they are difficult, they will fail. Cultivate children\’s ability to face failure and analyze the reasons. 5. Emotion control education, tell children to control the consequences. In the areas that can be affected, don\’t lose your temper because of a small setback, thereby making the whole life terrible; 6. Long-distance running, long-distance running is the most effective way to train endurance. Life is a marathon, and it is more important for children to finish their lives smoothly than to win at the starting line. Therefore, it is essential to cultivate children\’s reverse quotient. Frustration is also a test that everyone will experience. No one\’s life is smooth sailing. Difficulties will always come unexpectedly. If you cannot overcome it, you may be devastated by a small setback. Even, like this second-year junior high school student, a small setback like \”not being able to play with mobile phones\” can ruthlessly crush his life. Finally, give this sentence by the French writer Balzac to the children: \”Frustration is like a stone. For the weak, it is a stumbling block, making you hesitate to move forward; but for the strong, it is a stepping stone, which makes you unable to move forward.\” Stand taller.”