Here are 5 things to do when talking about sex with preschoolers

Many parents do not understand the development of their children\’s sexual psychology and impulsively make behaviors that humiliate their children, leaving countless hidden dangers for their children\’s normal future sexual and psychological development, and even forming sexual psychological disorders, such as the woman named Xiao Ke below. In the eyes of outsiders, Xiaoke\’s family is happy and happy. But in fact, the marriage between Xiao Ke and her husband is full of difficulties on the issue of sex. Xiaoke has always regarded sex as a duty. She often avoids or refuses her husband\’s requests for intimacy. If you agree occasionally, you just think of it as \”helping your husband\” and use sex as a means to maintain the marriage. Neither she nor her husband had much fun. One day, Xiao Ke accidentally discovered that her husband had a lot of ambiguous chats with a woman. Under questioning, the husband admitted that he occasionally had some \”special\” massages and that this woman was the one who had \”served\” him. I won’t talk about what is right and wrong between Xiao Ke and her husband here, but I will just talk about how Xiao Ke’s attitude toward “sex” was formed. The topic of \”sex\” is absolutely forbidden to be discussed in Xiao Ke\’s native home. She herself speculated that it might be due to an incident that happened in kindergarten. One day at noon, all the kindergarten children were taking a nap, and she and a little boy slept side by side. Neither of them could sleep, so they played under the quilt. The little boy took off his pants and showed Xiao Ke his private parts. He also let Xiao Ke touch them, and then asked to see Xiao Ke\’s too. The kindergarten teacher heard the two talking and came over to lift the quilt. I just happened to see the little boy put his hand in Xiaoke\’s underwear. Seeing this situation, the teacher called them both up and scolded the little boy for \”playing a hooligan\”. The little boy was frightened and cried that Xiaoke agreed to his touching. Soon the parents of the two children also came to the kindergarten. The little boy\’s parents beat him angrily. Xiao Ke’s mother was also very angry and scolded Xiao Ke for being “shameless” for allowing others to touch her. After this incident, Xiaoke\’s mother began to worry that her daughter would become a \”slut.\” From then on, the clothes I bought for Xiao Ke were all tightly wrapped clothes. Even in summer, I had to wear pants and long sleeves. When the two of them were walking on the street and saw a girl wearing revealing clothes, her mother would say that the girl was \”immoral\” and \”a serious girl wouldn\’t dress like this\” and so on. She would also often remind Xiaoke that girls should respect themselves, otherwise others will look down on her. Although the topic of \”sex\” is never discussed directly at home, the message that \”sex\” is forbidden is repeatedly conveyed to Xiao Ke. Xiaoke feels from the bottom of his heart that \”sex\” is a shameful thing. Who would enjoy something that makes them ashamed? Children\’s sexual development is actually synchronized with physical development. When babies start sucking their own fingers, their bodies will also undergo some subtle changes, such as redness of the skin, tension, and excitement, and the more they suck, the more vigorous they will become. At this time, the baby experiences a sense of euphoria, which is sexualComponents of pleasure. When children are more than one year old, they may become more and more interested in their bodies, especially their sexual organs. They will really want to explore their bodies. Some children put their hands into their genitals or rub their genitals. This is the first step in their awareness of their own body and senses. When they are two to three years old, children will begin to play games where they experience gender roles, such as girls playing the mother and boys playing the father. Children at this stage also begin to be interested in the bodies of their parents and peers, and may really want to see the bodies of their parents and peers. Because they are curious about the body of the opposite sex, they may observe each other in private and touch each other\’s private parts. How should parents deal with problems that arise during the sexual and psychological development stages of their children? The following points are for parents’ reference. 1. When children explore their own bodies, do not stop them or shame them, but tell them how to protect their genitals. Children do not associate \”sex\” and \”morality\” together. Genitals are part of their bodies and they have the right to explore their bodies. If a child touches his or her genitals, parents should tell the child how to pay attention to hygiene. If a child puts a foreign object into his genitals, parents should intervene and tell the child that doing so will hurt the body and is not allowed. In addition, children should also be taught that touching their genitals should not be done in public. 2. When children want to see their parents’ bodies, they should be shown it. For children under 5 years old, parents can show their children their bodies while taking a bath to satisfy their curiosity about the body. When a child asks for the name of the genitals, parents can tell the child directly. Sometimes children will name their own genitals, and parents can use the child\’s name when they mention it. If a child over 6 years old still insists on looking at his parents\’ bodies, it means that the child\’s early curiosity and exploration have not been satisfied, and his sexual and psychological development is lagging behind. You can promise to show your child one or two times, and be prepared that after the child sees your body, they may ask questions and their psychology may change. The earlier children learn about their parents\’ bodies, the less curious they will be. 3. When children raise questions related to sex, parents should pay attention to the following points in their answers. Children answer whatever they ask, and don\’t answer no questions. Do not impart too many details about \”sex\” to children, which may increase their questions and make them more curious; do not teach children sexual knowledge that they are not required to know, and avoid awakening children in advance to explore sexual matters beyond their years. ; But don’t lie to your children either. Answer in a language your child can accept and understand, and try not to answer \”sex\” questions with words your child has never heard of. For example, if your child doesn\’t know the word \”sexual intercourse\” at all, don\’t use it. The answer is simple and clear, sometimes just \”yes\” or \”no\”. 4. When children ask about “selfWhen asking the question \”How do you get here?\” parents must grasp the scale of the answer. Some child sexual psychology experts believe that Chinese children should pay attention to the details of sexual activities around the age of 10. There is no need for preschool children to understand the term \”sexual intercourse\” in detail. A detailed understanding of the process may cause them to have more questions. If parents are not ready to answer their children\’s questions about sex, they can tell their children: ▷The question you asked is confusing mom, and mom needs to think about it before she can answer you. Can Let the mother think about it for a while? During this time, the parents should think about how to answer. If the child has already learned about the parents’ genitals, you can refer to this answer: ▷ There are sperm in the father’s genitals and eggs in the mother’s genitals. When the reproductive organs come together, the father\’s sperm may be implanted into the mother\’s egg. When they are together, they will be the first baby. Then the baby grows in the mother\’s belly. When the mother\’s belly cannot hold it, the baby is born. Don\’t get ahead of the child The understanding ability is to interpret too many details, and the interpretation should stop when the child \”understands\”. 5. Tell the child that the genitals are everyone\’s private part and cannot be seen or touched by others. If an adult wants to see or touch Be sure to tell parents if you touch their private parts. The most important thing about how to answer children\’s questions about sex is the attitude of the parents. If parents adopt an avoidant attitude, the children may be more curious. If parents adopt a negative attitude, the children will Self-exploration is full of pressure and shame. If parents find that their children are beginning to explore their own bodies and start asking questions, regard it as an integral part of the child\’s growth stage, face it correctly, and answer honestly.