How big is the difference between children who are allowed to eat cold drinks since childhood and those who are restricted by their parents when they grow up?

Just after the end of the semester, I took my children to the swimming pool and saw this scene: a seven or eight-year-old little girl stood in front of the freezer at the entrance of the supermarket and insisted on buying an ice cream. The mother\’s attitude was firm and she refused: \”No, it\’s too cold. It will make your stomach hurt if you eat it.\” The girl refused to leave and continued to beg her mother: \”Can I just take a small bite? I have never eaten before.\” The mother listened. Later, he remained unmoved and planned to take his daughter away by force. When the girl saw that her mother was about to leave, tears suddenly flowed out. She cried loudly to the child eating ice cream next to her and begged him to give her a taste, which attracted the attention of passers-by. After watching this \”Mother-Daughter War\”, I was quite emotional. When the weather is hot, it is a child\’s nature to want to eat something cold, and it is also a normal thing. When a child says, \”Mom, I want a cold drink,\” the choice to buy or not to buy is just an appearance. Understanding the underlying logic and motivation behind this is the essence. A small piece of ice cream is related to the philosophy of being a parent, and also related to the knowledge of children\’s growth. Children\’s happiness and satisfaction are hidden in the little ice cream. Two days ago, my 8-year-old son ran up to me and asked with a smile on his face: \”Mom, can I give you a massage?\” I was very curious about my usually rebellious son. Why did I change my temper today? I followed his wishes and asked him to pinch my legs. My son looked obedient, but while pinching me, he kept giving me rainbow farts. Finally, 15 minutes passed. My son showed his \”fox tail\”, pouted his little mouth, and looked at me pitifully: Mom, my leg is pinched, can I have an ice cream? I looked at my son\’s cautious expression and remembered that I had seen a photo album \”Hello, Little Friend\” last year by Japanese photographer Akiyama Ryoji in China in the 1980s. In old photos, we can see that after class, children in the 1980s and 1990s rushed out of the classroom, playing in small groups, sweating on the playground, on the track, and in the streets. Tired and hot from playing, everyone pooled a few dollars to buy cold drinks and ice cream from the canteen… green tongue, old popsicles, corn on the cob, little pudding, dwarfs… Take a bite, and the coolness melts into your heart instantly, with a hint of sweetness. The taste dances on the tongue. In the streets and alleys, the air is filled with the smell of water molecules from various cold drinks, and is filled with the laughter and laughter of children. I lowered my head and looked at my son again, and I had the answer in my mind: \”Yes, but this is the only one this week!\” My son hugged me happily and spun around happily in the room. Do you want to give your child a cold drink? This \”problem of the century\” that has stumped many old mothers seems to have a concrete answer at this moment. Two days ago, I came across a video online. The little girl in the video was holding an ice cream in her hand, her eyes were bright, she took a lick of ice cream, and danced happily, and she couldn\’t stop smiling no matter what. That kind of contentment, as if you own the whole world. An education expert once said this: \”Children\’s childhood should not be trapped in a single, simple, purely healthy food. If possible, occasionally let the children taste the delicacies of their age and give them a happy life. The analogy of \”Childhood Memory\” to reality is: in the eyes of parents, cold drinks, ice cream, etc. are cold foods, and eating too much can easily cause injury.Harmful to children\’s spleen and stomach, excessive sugar intake can easily lead to obesity. For health and safety reasons, no matter how much their children want to eat, almost every parent will firmly refuse. However, we have overlooked one point. It is a child\’s nature to want to eat cold drinks and ice cream. Excessive suppression may be self-defeating. Children can only become happy, mature and interesting adults when they grow up if they have tasted various tastes in childhood and been real and happy children. Unsatisfied needs in childhood are made up for madly when one grows up. There is a hot topic on Weibo: What kind of childhood is the happiest? Under the topic, a highly praised answer was: \”A not-so-perfect childhood.\” A netizen @李大marshal shared his sad past. Both parents are doctors, and they have very high requirements for their children\’s health. As a result, since he can remember, his parents have prescribed what he should eat every day, accurate to the mark. When he was a child, he was not allowed to touch the snacks that other children could eat; other children could eat ice cream and cold drinks in the summer, but he had never tasted them and drank boiled water for 18 years. In the eyes of his parents, these were junk foods that would harm his health… Later, he went to college and finally broke free from the shackles of his parents. As a result, he got out of control, lost his inner balance, and began to crazily make up for the \”taste of childhood\” that was lost in childhood. I have an almost pathological need for some cold drinks: ice cream, iced Coke… I buy them box by box and pile them up in the dormitory. I eat so much every day that my throat becomes swollen and my stomach hurts, and I still can\’t stop. He said: \”It seems that this can make up for the little regret in my heart.\” The following comments clearly revealed the truth: \”If the blogger\’s parents could let him eat some snacks and cold drinks when he was a child, maybe he would be better after he goes to college. You won\’t eat as much as you do now to make up for childhood regrets. \”Freud once said: \”Food restriction and deprivation in childhood may lead to excessive food cravings and revenge eating in adulthood.\” That is to say. : The more parents suppress their children from eating cold drinks, the more likely the children will develop a compensatory mentality of \”retaliatory indulgence\” when they grow up. In severe cases, they may also develop a series of emotional and psychological problems. Indeed. Some time ago, my best friend reflected on us at a party. What a mistake I made before forbidding my daughter to eat cold drinks – the relationship between my child and me became worse and worse, and my child became more and more interested in asking others for snacks. During this period, my best friend changed her strategy: she no longer stopped her daughter from eating snacks such as candies and ice cream, but selectively gave them to her. Because she feels that eating these things is the happiest thing for a child. Just like Huang Lei said: \”Children who have tasted hundreds of flavors will not only care about candy, and children who have seen the world will not only care about a piece of biscuit in front of them.\” What is lacking in childhood will become the most terrifying thing for the rest of a child\’s life. Obsession. Sometimes, satisfying a child\’s little wish can not only make the child feel happy, but also make the child feel the love and tolerance of his parents, and his soul can be nourished. Although cold drinks are good, they must be taken in moderation. Professor Li Meijin once said: The source of happiness for adults is often a meal of beer-fried chicken or a food stall at night. Not yet mature in all aspectsThis is especially true for children. Their wishes can be as big as going to outer space and playing hide-and-seek with aliens; or they can be as small as just a candy or a small piece of cake. When a child wants to eat cold drinks, what parents have to do is never to \”refuse\”, but to grasp the balance between the child\’s health and needs, and tell the child that although cold drinks are good, they need to be moderate. How to do it specifically? You can refer to the following three aspects: 1. Teach children to recognize the dangers of excessive cold drinks. As parents, it is necessary to educate children about the dangers of excessive consumption of cold drinks. For example, excessive consumption of cold drinks will lower the temperature of the gastrointestinal tract, resulting in reduced blood flow through the gastrointestinal tract, affecting the digestive function of the gastrointestinal tract, and ultimately leading to indigestion; for example, eating too much cold drinks can easily cause local capillary contraction and reduce resistance, causing upper respiratory tract problems such as acute pharyngitis, tonsillitis, and bronchitis. Tell your children to drink cold drinks in moderation and not to be greedy for too much, which is the true care for the body. 2. Set rules and give children the right to choose. Italian educationist Dr. Maria Montessori pointed out: 3-6 years old is a critical period for the formation of children\’s rule awareness and early behavioral habits. Yale and Harvard University even pointed out that: 3 to 6 years old is the \”moist cement period\”. 85% to 90% of a child\’s personality, thoughts, and behaviors will begin to take shape at this stage. Therefore, parents should seize the key points in establishing rules: tell children aged 2-3 that they can eat one small ice cream per week; children over 3 years old should not have more than one cold drink per day, and when eating It is best to hold it in your mouth for a while and wait until it melts before swallowing. At the same time, teach children to make independent and conscious choices and cultivate their sense of independence. Let children have a sense of control over their lives from an early age. 3. Guide children to feel their own bodies and distinguish between \”want\” and \”need\”. In psychology, \”want\” and \”need\” have completely different meanings: need is an objective physical need, such as drinking when thirsty. Water, eating when you are hungry, is something that needs to be satisfied; and wanting is a subjective desire, dispensable, such as wanting to eat snacks, wanting to play games… The nature of a child is to see the same thing Love the same. Therefore, parents can use \”making lists\” to help their children distinguish between the two. Previously, there was a mother whose approach is worth learning from. Every time before going out, she would ask her daughter to write a \”travel shopping list\”, divided into two columns, one column for necessities and one column for wanted things. When shopping, let your children take it. Buy necessities first. If you have money left over, you can buy non-necessities. Over time, children have a very clear sense of direction for their own needs and learn to make choices between wants and needs. Finally, I would like to share a passage with you: As the educator Fonnarsky said: What a child becomes is all shaped by his parents. A qualified parent not only ensures that the child is well fed and clothed, and takes care of him when he is sick, but also understands the child\’s thoughts, understands love and respect, and fills his childhood with beautiful memories.