How can a second-child family maintain a balanced bowl of water?

Don’t think that just because you have had the experience of raising a second child, you are confident about raising a second child. In fact, the ways of raising Dabao and Erbao are very different. How to \”balance a bowl of water\”, how to stop \”infighting\”, and how to make the life of a family from 3 to 4 people still very beautiful… He secretly penetrated his sister While her mother was cooking dinner, 7-year-old Shasha was sitting quietly at the table drawing. Because she found that the red pen was out of water, Shasha left her seat and went to the cabinet to look for the red pen. When she turned around, she found her 3-year-old brother Xixi was scribbling on her painting with a colored pen. Sasha immediately yelled: \”What are you doing? That\’s my painting! Don\’t touch my painting, you nuisance!\” Afterwards, Sasha still couldn\’t get over her anger, so she pushed Xixi to the ground, and Xixi immediately started crying. . Essentials for family education: How to encourage children\’s progress and self-confidence, all 70 episodes. Xixi has always liked to play with his sister since he was a child. He will do whatever her sister does, and even, because he wants to establish a relationship with her sister so much, Xixi secretly Wearing my sister\’s dress, there was another quarrel after my sister found out. Shasha is a child who has been very focused since childhood and does not like to be disturbed when doing things. At the same time, at this age, Shasha cares about her own property, but her brother always secretly plays with her things, which makes her feel violated. Therefore, she disliked it very much when her brother followed her. Children of different ages have different psychological needs. Faced with children\’s conflicts, parents always have a headache. Even a younger brother who loves his older sister crazily can bring unexpected problems. It seems that the younger brother is disturbing the elder sister because of his ignorance. From another perspective, some people may think that it is the older sister who is ignorant and does not know how to take care of his younger brother and does not know how to let him go. However, we must not forget that the siblings are only children of a few years old. Therefore, evaluating children from a moral perspective cannot solve the problem. The conflict between the younger brother and older sister is actually showing parents that the two children of different ages in the family are in different stages of psychological development and have completely different psychological needs. For example, my sister, at the age of 7, began to focus on the development of her own abilities, hoping to have an independent space and opportunities for independent exploration, and worked tirelessly for this; while the 3-year-old brother reached the social enlightenment period, and he began to realize that the world still has many problems. With a partner, he admires his older and more capable sister, hoping to gain companionship and satisfy his own growth fantasies by getting close to her. Therefore, the younger brother combines this social need with the psychology of admiration and always wants to follow his sister. You must know that it is normal for children to have these psychological needs as they grow up. The conflict between siblings is not at the intellectual or moral level, but at the psychological dynamic level. Three tips to improve the cooperation between siblings and turn the younger brother into a high-quality \”little fan\”. What can be done to help children of different ages in the family find a suitable way of getting along with each other? Parents can try the following 3 methods: The first step is to turn interruptions into growth goals. Let’s do the work of older children first. When the younger brother ran to interrupt the mother\’s cooking, the mother saw an opportunity to demonstrate correctly. Therefore, the mother first imitated her sister and became angry, and then asked her sister if she felt the same as when she was disturbed by her brother.Realizing that I am understood, my mother and I are on the same page. At this time, my mother got the opportunity to share the method with her sister. She invited her sister to help her and teach her younger brother the rules of doing things at home. In this way, the younger brother\’s harassment was successfully transformed into the sister\’s task, which was to teach the younger brother what he can and cannot do. With her mother\’s company, her sister began to communicate positively with her brother and no longer refused her brother\’s approach. The second trick is to change freedom into reasonable expression. Then you still need to do children\’s work. Mom can ask her brother if he particularly likes his sister. After getting a positive answer, she can tell him that he should do things to the person he likes that he likes, so that his sister can like him. The younger brother really wanted to get close to his older sister, so of course he was willing to do so. Fan Deng Reading Club\’s Five Compulsory Courses for New Parents\’ Family Education [Video + Audio] At the same time, the mother proposed a questioning mechanism, requiring the younger brother to ask his sister first when he wants to play with her; then, he proposed cooperation The mechanism requires the siblings to stop and discuss when they disagree when they are playing, and no one can have his own way. The third move is to build private and public spheres. Of course, no matter how close the relationship is, compatriots do not mean they have to stay together all the time. Build children\’s own private sphere at home so that children have a safe and free space and experience being respected. For example, the brother and sister\’s own bed is a private area. When the elder sister doesn\’t want to be disturbed, she can draw on the small kang table on the bed; at the same time, a public area is constructed. If two people want to play together, they can go to the open space on the small balcony freely. play.