How can children become self-disciplined and independent?

Parents often report that their children have poor self-discipline. Homework must be supervised by parents, and the various interest classes he enrolls in include three days of fishing and two days of netting. He loves to be lazy, dilly-dally, and procrastinate. There is really nothing he can do about it. Maybe you have this question: When raising children, why can other people\’s children be self-disciplined, but your own children need constant urging? Children\’s self-discipline is not born, but cultivated. Only a parent who understands self-discipline can raise a truly conscious child. On the road to self-discipline, parents must first set a good example. After all, no matter how good the educational concept is, it cannot match the words \”teaching by example\”. A good education always requires the support of parents. In order to raise self-disciplined and independent children, parents must keep in mind the principle of \”doing two things and ignoring three things\”. Keep these two \”don\’ts\” in mind, and your children will definitely be successful when they grow up. The reason why we have \”naughty children\” around us has a lot to do with our parents\’ tutoring. Many times it’s not that today’s children are too “bearish”, but that parents are unclear about educating their children and don’t know what they should not tolerate and what they should not control. Disciplining children is really an art. A little more or a little less will lead to completely different results. 1. Children have bad habits. When children are young, they often cannot control themselves, such as watching TV, eating candy, loving to play, having irregular work and rest schedules, etc. At this time, parents need discipline. Every child loves to play and naturally resists being disciplined, especially to develop good habits. As the old saying goes: Three years old looks old, seven years old looks old! It does not mean that the knowledge a child learns before the age of seven determines his or her life, but it refers to the good habits that the child develops from an early age that will benefit his or her life. It doesn’t matter how much knowledge or skills you have as a child. What matters is having a good habit that will accompany you throughout your life. For example, having a plan for doing things, doing things you can do yourself, not taking things from others, being kind and humble to others, etc. These habits are the inner driving force for children to move forward in the future. If a child has bad habits, he must not get used to them. Completely different habits destined the children\’s future directions to be completely opposite. Educator Mr. Ye Shengtao said: The essence of education is to cultivate habits. There is no such thing as a natural academic master, it is just a matter of accumulation of good habits. 2. When it comes to issues of principle, parents who are not used to education have a bottom line and their children\’s behavior has an upper limit, so as to prevent children from going astray. If you love your children, you must stick to the bottom line of being a parent and cannot give in without principle. There are some things that you can give in appropriately and respect your children\’s wishes, but there are some things that your children will never get used to if they touch the principles. I was chatting with friends in the education field a few days ago, and they said that the \”nature\” of this generation of children has been released too much. Some children are spoiled to the point of not being too big or small. Now many families are facing an urgent problem that needs to be solved: children are not like children, and parents are not like parents. If you think about it carefully, it seems that you can indeed see many children contradicting their parents at any time, and shouting at their grandparents. Most parents either turn a blind eye to their children\’s disrespect for their elders, or simply hide in the house and scroll through their mobile phones. Other families often have this common problem: children don\’t listen to you and often threaten their parents by crying, not eating, or not going to school. Some parents say that setting a good foundation for their childrenWe have to follow the rules, but there is nothing we can do about the child\’s mischief! Whether it is reasoning or educating with sticks, I have tried all methods, but the child is still the same. This is largely due to parents lowering the bottom line over and over again. One thing about spoiled children is that their demands are always met. The first time a problem arises, parents compromise. Over time, children will gradually understand that crying and losing temper are a means of blackmailing their parents. This will create a vicious cycle: the child cries and behaves → the parent breaks out, yells, and beats → the child cries even more → the parent breaks the bottom line to satisfy him. To educate children, love alone is not enough, there must be scale. You must carefully tell your children what the rules are, what the principles and bottom line are. Those who touch the principles must not be spoiled. This is the best protection that parents can give their children. This is how a German mother teaches the principles of honesty and self-discipline: Teach good children who are strong + independent + tolerant + thrifty. Smart parents, do the three things well. In the vision of parents lies the future of their children. There is a saying in \”Warring States Policy\”: \”Parents who love their children have far-reaching plans.\” As a parent, no one does not plan for the future of their children. From the moment a child is born, every parent worries about his growth and education. If you raise a child for one hundred years, you will worry for ninety-nine years. This is probably the truth. 1. Things that you can do independently, regardless of \”You just study hard, you don\’t have to do anything!\” How many parents are embarking on the road of raising useless children in the name of \”love\”. \”Please help me complete it independently\”, this is the inherent requirement of every child\’s nature. Parents who have foresight start cultivating their children\’s independence early. If you do too much for your children, your children won’t do too much for themselves. Dr. Montessori said: \”Never help a child by doing something he thinks he can handle.\” Maybe you think the child is too young to do anything by himself, but you have to understand that children like to imitate adults. What do you like to do. For example, when a child is not tall enough to wash the dishes, he always wants to help wash the dishes. Many parents will say, \”When you grow up, you can help!\” When a child is willing to participate in housework, you don\’t give him a try. opportunity, will he take the initiative to participate when he grows up? Therefore, when a child is rushing to sweep the floor or clean the table, you might as well let go and leave this \”job\” to him. Parents only need to arrange an environment suitable for his \”work\”. The following are some principles for arranging the environment for children: furniture should be light and placed in a position that is convenient for children to move; things in the home should conform to the size of children and be accessible to children; let children participate more in daily family affairs, such as Get dressed, comb your hair and wash your face; even sweep the floor, clean the carpet, etc. Objects used by children at home should be sturdy and attractive. Don\’t worry about things that your child can accomplish by himself. The sooner you let go and cultivate your child\’s independence, the more stable your child\’s future will be. 2. Whatever the child should do, no matter when the child has a certain ability, he must complete the things he should do by himself, such as dressing, eating, washing, sleeping, etc. From recent psychological research findings, those children who lack the ability to take care of themselves are often very dependent on their parents. This in turn leads to these children lacking a sense of responsibility, weak willpower, and easily shrinking back when encountering difficulties. Therefore, when the child is within the scope of his or her abilities, parents should let go in time and let the child do his or her own thing. Only by doing it yourself can children promote their mental development in hand-eye coordination. \”A child\’s wisdom is at the tips of his fingers.\” This sentence is worth pondering for parents. \”Take care of yourself and the environment\”, these things that children should do by themselves can be ignored. 3. What the child can bear, no matter the child\’s growth needs \”love\”, the essence of love and the expression of love are not only giving and satisfaction, nor accommodation. You must know that children will inevitably encounter bumps and bumps on their way to growth. If parents help their children eliminate all obstacles, they will undoubtedly deprive their children of the courage to face difficulties alone. Their ability to solve problems and withstand setbacks will naturally deteriorate. If a child can only accept happiness and cannot bear a little pain as he grows up, the problem is very serious. Under the pressure of social competition, many parents desperately push their children to run forward and teach them how to succeed, but never teach them how to face failure. Many children lose their temper because of little things that don\’t go their way, and become depressed when they encounter a little setback. Therefore, when the child is 3 years old, you can let the child experience frustration, and ignore some things that the child can bear. For example, if the building blocks are crooked, you lose your temper or cry; if you lose the game, you will never play again… In such a situation, as a parent, you must not blindly accommodate or give in to your child. Proper frustration education is a required course in children\’s life. Don’t take it too hard to raise children. What you save in the early days will be paid back in double proportions sooner or later. In short, what you want your children to be like is what you want them to be. If you don\’t care about these two things, your children will naturally become self-disciplined.