How can children not be socially anxious?

\”What should I do if my child lacks self-confidence in public and always has stage fright?\” I am very qualified to speak on this issue! As someone who has suffered from social anxiety for more than 30 years and has a shy and slightly \”socially anxious\” son and daughter, I have finally overcome this problem after three years of hard work. Now my daughter and I can \”shine confidently\” on stage. \”, I can talk freely, and my son dares to ask to perform on stage. There are too many children who are eloquent at home, but immediately become unconfident and afraid to speak up in public. They also suffer from stage fright when asked to go on stage. They always stare at their parents and speak stumblingly. This phenomenon is very common, because no matter how powerful people are, they will be nervous when speaking in public, let alone children? However, there are ways to overcome self-confidence, stage fright and nervousness. Parents need to have enough patience and attentiveness to help their children break through themselves step by step and become their equally shining selves in public. My daughter told me how nervous she was before going on stage and always said, \”Mom, I\’m scared.\” But with my hard work, although I was still nervous before going on stage, I was able to tell a complete story line based on an impromptu topic after going on stage. I could also act in sitcoms with adults, and it was even easier to perform on stage with other children. One disc, a really huge breakthrough. Now I will share with you the methods to help children break through \”social fear\”, hoping to help parents who have the same problem! 1. Frequently convey a belief: \”Children will be able to overcome on their own the difficulty of not being confident on stage through hard work.\” The famous psychology professor Carol Dweck put forward two kinds of thinking in his book \”Lifelong Growth\”, One is a fixed mindset and the other is a growth mindset. People with a fixed mindset believe that people are naturally good at some things and not good at some things; while people with a growth mindset believe that people can be good at everything and can always find a way as long as they work hard. Children with a growth mindset will not only make great breakthroughs in their studies and future life, but are also willing to accept any challenge. So they will definitely be willing to continue to challenge their lack of confidence in public. Therefore, we need to constantly instill in our children that \”ability is not static. You can overcome all difficulties through continuous efforts.\” This is what I have done myself, because through study and deliberate practice, I have really transformed from a social fear into a social master, so I firmly believe that people\’s abilities can be changed. I often tell my daughter, \”Yueyue, life is like a mountain. It is very difficult when you go uphill. But when you reach the top of the mountain on your own, when you look back, you will find that the uphill road is not difficult.\” As long as you are willing to go on stage, even if you don\’t say a word, it is a huge improvement; and next time, can you say a few more words? It is another improvement; step by step, one day, you will Good at public speaking!\” My daughter nodded, indicating that she was willing to try it. CCTV recommends over 500 excellent documentaries with high scores. Children will become addicted to self-discipline after watching the pattern. Of course, children’s ages and understanding abilities are different, so the measures and words we take should also be flexible. Here are a few principles for parents’ reference: 1. Parents cannotLabeling a child \”unconfident in public\” should instead imply that she can \”express confidently\” as long as she takes her time. 2. When a child acts coy on stage or performs poorly, parents cannot help the child shirk responsibility and say it is someone else\’s fault, nor can they criticize or punish the child. The best approach is to give your child honest and constructive feedback about their problems so that they can learn from their failures and become better and better. For example: My daughter has signed up to learn speech since she was in kindergarten. She performed very well when practicing at home, but when it came to public performances, she panicked, made many mistakes, and acted very unconfident. When faced with my daughter\’s mistakes in her performance, I never criticize her. Instead, I discover her \”points of improvement\” and then truthfully point out the areas where she needs improvement and encourage her to work harder. I will praise my daughter that her posture today is more standard than at home, but her voice is not loud enough; I will also praise my daughter that her speech today is more fluent than at home, but she occasionally stutters in a few places. Under the indoctrination of a growth mindset, children improve little by little and become better and better at public expression! 3. When praising children, remember to praise \”hard work\” instead of praising children for being smart. Only in this way can children develop a growth mindset and become more and more confident in public. Even if she occasionally performs poorly, she will look for reasons within herself and work hard to overcome them, instead of complaining about her incompetence and shame. 2. Improve children’s knowledge and give them more confidence when expressing themselves in public. As the saying goes: “If you have something in your stomach, you won’t panic.” To put it bluntly, if a child shows timidity in public, it means that his knowledge is not strong enough. Just like, if you have seen the vastness of the sea, you will not be amazed by the vastness of the river. Increasing children\’s knowledge also enhances their confidence to face the public. 1. Spend more time reading with your children to increase their knowledge. Reading books is a good way. From historical masterpieces about five thousand years of civilization to all kinds of weird trivia, I am willing to buy books for my children as long as they are interesting to them. Books are not decorations, but a real need to urge children to read. For example, my family organizes a family reading club and small monthly family meetings every week. Every family member occasionally shares a book and tells it in his or her own words. During this process, if I find that my child is just going through the motions in reading without truly understanding, then I will slow down the pace of reading and help the child digest the content of the book together so that she can truly understand it. 2. Take your children out to play. \”It is better to travel thousands of miles than to read thousands of books.\” As long as time permits, our whole family is usually on the road during short holidays, and the destination can be near or far. When traveling with children, you can neither take it lightly nor just have fun. Generally speaking, I will choose the destination based on the child\’s hobbies at this stage. For example, if the child likes historical books recently, I will take the child to check out some historical monuments. Before departure, I will invite my children to make preparations together. In addition to planning the route and packing their luggage, I will also ask them to collect and organize information about the destination. I will warmly invite the children to play the role of little tour guides, so that the children dare to show themselves. thisIt is a basic accumulation. Children who have talking capital will be more calm and calm in their on-the-spot performance. If possible, it is also recommended that parents join other families in group travel and study tours, so that children can adapt to the atmosphere of group play and avoid stage fright when expressing themselves. 3. Create opportunities for children to perform in public. Deliberate practice can overcome the lack of self-confidence in public. Courage is cultivated, so parents should create opportunities for children to perform in public, such as: schools, communities, shopping malls and other groups. Encourage children to participate in organized activities or competitions so that they can accumulate experience in public performances. You can also organize your own activities, let your children be the host, and lead the children to express their feelings. These are all good opportunities to gain experience on stage. For example, I joined a local speaking club in Shenzhen. I take my daughter and sons with me every Saturday night. Every time I see my mother speaking on stage and giving lectures to others, they will be willing to change. They have many opportunities to perform and speak on stage. With the encouragement of adults, the brothers and sisters have become more and more courageous, and their language expression skills have also been greatly improved. If I always feel that parents should not place too much emphasis on the results, the accumulation of the process is the most important. Parents accompany their children, learn more lessons from failure, summarize more, accumulate more, and encourage their children more, and success will naturally be close to them. Finally, I wish all mothers can raise sunny and cheerful little \”social cows\”!