How can I avoid being annoyed, tired and yelling at my children? Just ten minutes a day

The most relaxing moment of the day for me is the hour before my break. At this time, the family members all went to bed, the room became quiet again, and I finally had some time to myself. There is nowhere to put the tiredness and irritability of the day. At this moment, I don’t want to think about anything or do anything. I just want to empty my mind and relax. The most comfortable thing is to lie comfortably in bed, check Moments, catch up on TV dramas, and browse Taobao. One night, as usual, I was leaning on the bedside scrolling through my phone. As usual, I was already very sleepy, but I didn\’t want to put down my phone, feeling that I hadn\’t relaxed enough. I closed my sore eyes and felt it quietly. It was like ten thousand flies buzzing in my mind. I was still so irritable and tired, so I fell into a drowsy sleep. When I woke up the next day, my mind was still groggy and I couldn\’t cheer up, as if I had fallen asleep. That morning, I suddenly realized that scrolling through my phone before going to bed seemed to be relaxing, but in fact it couldn\’t relieve my fatigue and irritability at all. I was like a man drowning, desperately trying to grab something to help me escape from these emotions. Unfortunately, the mobile phone is just a straw and is of no use at all. Like drinking sea water, the more you drink, the thirstier you become. A few days ago, an article circulated in the circle of friends, \”You yell and scream at your children because you are tired and busy.\” This topic really touches my heart. As a working mother who lives in a first-tier city and is busy working during the day and taking care of her children after get off work, I am all too familiar with the emotional state of a middle-aged person who feels helpless, exhausted, and irritable. I definitely feel that when I am in a good emotional state, I have more patience, rationality, and self-awareness. After a day of running around, especially when I just get home from get off work, my energy is at its lowest and my patience is particularly low. The smallest thing may ignite my emotions. I know it\’s not a big deal, but I just want to find a chance to vent my irritability. I don\’t want to control myself, I just want to vent happily. But in fact, yelling like this makes the children cry and the adults quarrel, which only makes the irritability worse. In the past, when I was bored and tired, I would watch movies, catch up on TV dramas, browse Taobao, and use my mobile phone to find every opportunity. The fatigue and trivialities of life make it impossible for me to escape, and my heart is full but extremely empty. Only by burying my head in mobile phones, American TV series and Taobao can I temporarily escape from life for a while and hide in a colorful world—— It\’s like holding on to straw tightly, and once you let go, you will fall into unbearable emptiness and irritability. I once read a novel of hundreds of thousands of words while taking care of my children. The children were playing next to me, so I took advantage of every opportunity to look at it with my phone. However, when I looked up from that soul-stirring virtual world, I felt more and more that real life was repetitive and boring. I once searched every corner of Taobao in order to find something I was satisfied with. During the few days I was waiting for the package, I would have a sense of excitement and anticipation, as well as a sense of satisfaction in my shopping desire. However, these wonderful feelings will disappear within a few days and can only be obtained by constantly buying and buying. The same goes for browsing mobile phones. Many people are immersed in their mobile phones. It’s not that the circle of friends is so interesting. It’s just that if you take your eyes off the mobile phone, you will face yourself directly.The feeling of emptiness, loneliness and boredom is too bad, so just keep looking at your phone, like an ostrich burying its head in the sand. That morning, as I reflected on the ten thousand flies buzzing around in my head, I realized that none of this was true relaxation, but just an escape—an escape into an imaginary world, an escape to the fulfillment of desires, an escape to in the virtual crowd. After escaping for a long time, those irritability and fatigue are still with me, even more serious. There is no escape, you can only face it, resolve it, and find a real way to relax. In the past few years, I have been looking for and trying real ways to relax on and off, consciously or unconsciously. There are several methods that I have personally practiced and found to be effective, and I plan to stick to them. The first recommendation is meditation, which can also be called meditation or meditation. There was once a book called \”5 Minutes of Meditation is the Same as One Hour of Deep Sleep.\” I didn\’t read the content, but I recognized the title because I had a similar experience. I remember that I first came into contact with meditation when I first entered the workplace more than ten years ago. Once I accompanied the author on a book signing tour in other places. Food and accommodation, media interviews, and business docking all had to be taken care of by myself. After a few days, I was in a state of high tension and very tired. We waited in the lounge before the last autograph session. The author saw that I didn\’t look good and said, \”Let me take you to meditate.\” We closed our eyes, and following her guidance, I slowly entered a very quiet and soothing state. After about five or six minutes, I opened my eyes and found that the dizziness and swelling had eased a lot, my mind became clearer, and I felt energetic again. I was surprised and fresh. Meditation planted the first seed in my heart. For several years, I ignored it. It wasn’t until the past few years that I had children, started to come into contact with psychology, learned about physical and mental growth, and various opportunities gave me the opportunity to consciously practice meditation. But it was also intermittent. If I felt bad, I would do it for a few days. When I felt good, I couldn\’t help but be lazy. I would fish for three days and dry the net for thirty days. But even intermittently, I gained a lot from it. This is how I meditate. Now, at this moment, even if you feel relaxed and calm, when you close your eyes, concentrate on feeling it. You will find that your mind is filled with countless thoughts, like countless electrons, densely packed, born and destroyed, doing high-speed Brownian motion in your head. Ignore them and focus on feeling your breath. It won\’t take long. After a minute or two, you will feel as if there is an invisible layer of muscles relaxing in your scalp, forehead and even inside your head. Just like that, continue to focus on your breathing. Slowly, those thoughts disappear unconsciously, and occasionally a few will pop up. Don\’t be carried away by them, and focus on your breathing. The mind will calm down, a very relaxing calm. Sometimes, when my meditation is better, I will have a feeling: my mind is empty, without any thoughts, and my whole body seems to be breathing or in the void. When you open your eyes, you will find that your mind has become clear, as clear as the blue sky. The various emotions that were turbulent in my mind before have turned into a gentle breeze. The whole person\’s condition also became much more stable. The process of meditation is notIt takes too long. I like to do it before going to bed. I usually do it for more than ten minutes and then go to sleep directly after doing it. When you first start practicing, you may find that as soon as you close your eyes, your mind is in chaos, with all kinds of thoughts coming and going. You may become more irritable and think that this method is not suitable for you. Give yourself more patience and don\’t try to eliminate these thoughts. The more you suppress them, the more rebellious you will become. Focus on your breathing, concentrate on experiencing the flow of breath between exhalations and inhalations, and experience this process. Slowly, silence will come. The benefits of meditation are obvious to me. First of all, it allows me to truly relax, improve sleep quality, and feel energetic. Sometimes I am stressed and have many things going on, and I want to take a good nap to relax. Even though I have slept for eight hours, I still feel sleepy when I wake up in the morning. Then I remembered meditation. Just meditate before going to bed for a day or two, and the situation will be greatly improved: you will wake up early and naturally in the morning, you will not feel sleepy, and your mind will be very refreshed. When you have enough energy, your mood becomes stable and your state of mind becomes clear. Many things that made you irritated before seem to be no big deal now. From this, I discovered that meditation is a good way to relieve fatigue and replenish energy with \”short course of treatment and quick results\”. Meditation allows people to truly let go – let go of thoughts and emotions, and naturally relax. I practice meditation originally to relieve fatigue and irritability. After practicing for a long time, I discovered that there are unexpected benefits-my awareness ability has improved. Because when meditating, I have to focus on my breathing, be aware of the sensations in my body, and be aware of the rise and fall of my thoughts. After practicing a lot, I can often detect when thoughts or emotions arise quickly, and then realize what is behind the emotions. In my articles, there is a sentence that appears very frequently: \”I suddenly realized…\” This is often the turning point of something. For example, when I suddenly realize that there is something wrong with my thinking or approach during a certain matter, I will immediately make corresponding changes. This writing may look like a primary school student\’s composition, which is a bit deliberate, but it is actually a truthful description. Because your awareness has increased, you will be aware of subtle changes in emotions in a timely manner and realize the underlying reasons behind your words and actions. Once you realize it, you will naturally change. For example, if you get angry and yell at your child, on the surface it may seem because the child is not doing well, but if you look deeper, it may actually be because you are tired. Looking deeper, why are you feeling tired? Because I have to be busy with work and children, I am as busy as a spinning top every day. No one helps me, no one understands me, and I am full of grievances and resentments. This emotion is stagnant in my heart, like a gunpowder storehouse that explodes when it encounters a spark. But we are often unaware of our own emotions and only see the child\’s problems. We think that if the child\’s problems are solved, we will not get angry again. In fact, many times, children\’s problems are caused by their own emotions. If you deal with your emotions well, many of your children\’s problems will be solved. Therefore, it is very important to be aware of your own emotions when dealing with children. Once you are aware of it, your rationality will come out, and you will not be easily controlled by emotions, but will be able to jumpCome out and see the emotions. If you want to improve your relationship with your children, being aware of your thoughts and emotions is the first step to change. Meditation can help you notice when thoughts arise at the end of Qingping. Having said so much, in short, from my experience, meditation can not only truly relax the mind, but also help improve emotional awareness. Learning to meditate is a buy-one-get-one-free deal. So, before going to bed tonight, you might as well put down your phone, spend ten minutes meditating, and really spend some time with yourself. Give it a try?