How can parents keep their emotions calm?

Writer Yu Hua once said: A person\’s childhood determines his life, and the best time to determine his destiny is childhood. Although I don\’t completely agree, after all, the ability to shape yourself is as important as environmental and social factors, but I have to admit that mothers have a huge impact on their children\’s growth. Here, I dare not presume to suggest what kind of family education is the best, but I can observe that what kind of family education is definitely bad. The more you scold me, the stupider your child becomes. At about 9 o\’clock last night, my son suddenly came to me and told me that his good friend in junior high school ran away from home! Recommended preschool psychology books, all 8 volumes in ultra-clear PDF. When asked, it is not considered a runaway from home. She is just a little girl under 16 years old. She was scolded by her mother at home and was left alone at night in an extremely unhappy mood. Run to the Drum Tower to get some fresh air. The incident began when the girl’s monthly exam results were very ugly, and her mother scolded her: I think your genes mean you won’t be able to learn well. If you pass the test like this, just stop studying! Forget it, go out to work, you can still make money, and I don’t want to support you anymore! I really shouldn\’t have let you go to high school in the first place. It\’s better to work directly… I once dealt with this girl\’s mother. Before the New Year\’s Day party, I contacted her and sent her the host\’s lyrics for the party. I thought she would happily ask about the party or discuss the details of the hosting plan. However, she only replied with two words \”received\” and our conversation came to an abrupt end. Her daughter likes to sing and dance. She is a member of the school chorus and the artistic backbone of the class. She once signed up to participate in an audition for a variety show. I don’t know if she, as a mother, knows this. All I know is that she doesn\’t care what her daughter likes. She only defines her daughter based on her grades and insults her daughter. Nowadays, the girl who loves to sing and dance is living with increasingly low self-esteem and anxiety. From my son\’s words, I can feel that girls now think that they are stupid, have insufficient IQ, and cannot learn anything well. Life is a marathon, and performance is never the goal. As a student, test scores and rankings are certainly important, but they are by no means the only yardstick to measure whether a child is excellent. I have read a story before. A boy discovered that his deskmate wanted to take the first place in the exam, so he took the first place, while he wanted to take the first place, but he took the twentieth place. He was extremely frustrated and tried to get an answer from his mother: \”Mom, I didn\’t do well in the exam. I always listened to the teacher, but why did I always fall behind? Am I stupider than others?\” The mother took her child to the beach and said A quote worth a million: Look at the birds on the beach. When the waves come, the little gray finches can always take off quickly. They flap their wings two or three times and then rise into the sky. Seagulls always look very clumsy, and it always takes them a long time to fly from the beach into the sky. However, it is the seagull that can truly fly across the ocean. Winning in a moment may not be a win, and losing in a city or a place is never a loss, because the child\’s life has just begun. Since elementary school, my father and I have asked our children to do this: as long as they have a good study attitude, I won’t blame you no matter what score they get in the exam. In the exam, as long as it shows your true level, that\’s fine. Because of this, children have no pressure on their scores during exams, but rarely notice anything.When the performance is abnormal, the results are not much different. When it comes to learning, only when parents are in a calm mood can children perform smoothly. Any outstanding child is not a miracle, but a traceable cause and effect. Its cause is in the family; its root is in the parents. The more you scold, the further away your child will be from you. My son once showed me a chat record between him and his best friend. His friend was studying hard to prepare for the exam, but he was ridiculed by his parents behind his back. Look, the child was obviously very motivated to learn, but his parents poured cold water on him, and his enthusiasm and confidence in learning suddenly dropped to freezing point. Maybe the child\’s parents have given up on the child, maybe the parents are tired from work during the day, and they just want to vent their anger on the child and complain, maybe… No matter what the situation is, when your cynicism becomes a sharp sword piercing the child, we are no longer The child\’s relative, but the child\’s enemy. If a child comes home after a tiring day, what he sees is the lifeless face of the parent, and what he hears is nagging, resentful complaints and blame, as well as the negative energy that comes over and over: eat quickly, Go do your homework immediately after eating. My grades are so bad, I still don’t know how to take it seriously! When can you save me some trouble? I work so hard and am so exhausted from work, not because of you! So-and-so’s grades are so good…and you are just causing trouble for me! If it were you, would this home be a place you wanted to go back to immediately after school every day? Is this home the harbor you want to rely on when you are sad, wronged, and helpless? Is such a parent worthy of your embrace without thinking? Of course I know how tiring parents are after a day\’s work. I myself am often so tired after a day\’s work that I don\’t even want to say anything. But why are we tired? In addition to making a living for myself, I also want to create better living conditions for my children. But when you vent your emotions unscrupulously and insult and abuse your children, what your children are thinking is: I don’t want to be a burden to you, I don’t want to be your trash can, and I don’t want a parent like you. Parents\’ emotions and temperaments directly affect their children\’s character and determine the atmosphere of a family. There is a psychology of \”identification\” in psychology, which means that children will unconsciously adopt their mother\’s personality and characteristics as their own and express them. If the mother knows how to control her emotions, the children will also see the beauty of life. Happy families are dominated by emotions. With a calm mother, the family will truly become comfortable, warm, and desirable. In addition to the nagging mother, you can find other ways to communicate. How do you feel when a person nags you in your ear every day with a sharp and mean voice? Going crazy. Then what? No matter how reasonable she is, you can\’t listen to her, right? This is especially true for children. If it\’s something really important and you\’re not worried about it, just write it down on a note. When my son was growing up, even though we lived under the same roof, I wrote many notes to him. After writing it, I put it on his desk and never asked him if he had read it carefully. I only throw one or two extracurricular reading materials on my son\’s bedside, and he will read them for a while before going to bed. After a certain period, I will change one or two more books. I have never ordered my son to read extracurricular books. But heThe books I read must have been read by me myself, and then I recommended them to him quietly. Although I am a Chinese teacher, I am not my son’s teacher. Growing up, I rarely gave guidance on my son’s compositions, because pointing fingers would make him at a loss. I just silently typed his relatively good composition into an electronic draft and put it on my blog. In this way, he will be very proud, and he can slowly figure out what kind of articles are good articles that I appreciate. When he was in high school, it was already past ten o\’clock when he came home after studying in the evening. I naturally knew how tired he was. In addition to giving him a big hug and saying \”Thank you for your hard work\” when he enters the house, I prepare one or two of his favorite late-night snacks for him in different ways every day. He changed his shoes and sat down to drink hot soup and delicious food, and I accompanied him silently. In my communication with my son, he clearly saw my bottom line: I don’t seek to become a talent, but only seek to become an adult. Physical and mental health comes first, and it is important to protect your eyesight; do your best in studies and learn what you can learn well; you must share household chores and be polite. Because I have raised my son since he was a child, I know his IQ, EQ, and ability level very well. I am not demanding in my studies and learn what I can learn well. Although I am a teacher, I have no vanity, I do not insist on my children taking first or second place, and I am not extremely anxious because my children’s grades are average. When a child grows up, genetics cannot be changed, and things that can be changed the day after tomorrow cannot be changed in a hurry. Life must be the first priority. Whenever my son\’s test scores are not satisfactory, I always say to him: I believe in you, you are a late bloomer. Your grades in elementary school are average, junior high school is a little better, and high school is a little better. You will be more promising in the future. God will be kind to kind people. I also told my son’s high school teacher: “Don’t have any pressure. Since your child is in high school, he can always be admitted to a university. The difference is just a famous brand or not. The most important thing is to be an adult. He still has a long life ahead.” Every outstanding person Behind every child, there is a strong family. The growth of every outstanding child is soaked in the sweat of his parents. Ms. Hong Lan, a doctor of psychology, once said: From the perspective of human evolution, the mother is the soul of the family. If the mother is happy, the whole family will be happy; if the mother is anxious, the whole family will be anxious. It can be seen how important a mother’s good mood is in a family! Raising children is a practice. Emotional stability is a lesson that mothers have to work hard for throughout their lives. It is also the best gift and love that can be given to their children! Dear parent, when you want to get angry, look up and look at the scenery outside the window. Between heaven and earth, there are trees, flowers, and grasses, some gorgeous and plain, some in full bloom and some in bud. The love of the sun and the moon always accompanies you silently and waits quietly. Recommended books on scientific parenting. I really hope my parents have read this book. Download the electronic version. Having a mother with a peaceful mood in a family is a blessing to the child, a blessing to the family, and how can it not be a blessing to oneself?