How can we achieve strict self-discipline? Try this plan with your kids

I remember reading in a book: \”Self-discipline is the primary tool for solving problems in life and an important means to eliminate pain in life. Through self-discipline, we know how to learn and learn from problems with perseverance and courage when facing problems. Gain benefits as you grow.\” In a word, the more self-discipline you have, the more wonderful you will be. However, many children have not developed the good habit of self-discipline. A German mother’s experience in teaching integrity and self-discipline like this: Teach good children who are strong + independent + tolerant + frugal A few days ago, a friend complained to me: “Hey, my son is taking his time doing things and is so anxious. Don’t rush him. , he is never in a hurry. Sometimes it’s useless to push too much, and I have to get angry.” The scene described by my friend seemed familiar. When my son was in junior high school, I often struggled with his lack of self-discipline. On the morning of the holiday, he lay lazily on the bed. While I was making breakfast, I urged him to wash up quickly. By the time he finished his breakfast, it was already past 9 o\’clock. In my opinion, it only takes half an hour to complete the homework, but he struggled for an hour or two. Playing the piano is a required lesson every day, and he always delays starting to play until seven or eight in the evening. Day by day, we are performing \”cat and mouse\”. He often said: \”Wait a minute.\” I often urged: \”Can you hurry up?\” My son\’s behavior made me helpless for a time. After my friend finished telling me, I said: \”He may not be self-disciplined enough.\” \”Yes, the head teacher also said this about him and asked me to cultivate his self-discipline habit. I stare at him every day, but he still has no self-discipline. You are the teacher, you teach. How can I cultivate self-discipline in him?\” Not only my friends\’ children, many children have not developed the habit of self-discipline. Self-disciplined children can plan and manage time effectively, have goals in mind and are willing to work hard for them. \”Self-discipline is not innate, nor can it be discovered. Parents need to provide appropriate guidance and set rules to help him develop good habits of self-discipline. I suggest you prepare a small alarm clock for him and place it on his desk to help him establish a concept of time. . In addition, you can make a daily schedule with him, similar to a daily list.\” My friend shook his head: \”I made a daily schedule, but it was useless.\” I said, \”If that\’s the case, you might as well think about these few things. Question: Is the daily schedule your plan or your child’s plan? When making a daily schedule, have you paid attention to your child’s needs? In addition to learning, what proportion of sports and entertainment account for in the plan? Are you dissatisfied with your child’s plan? How did you deal with it?\” She shrugged: \”I didn\’t think about it that much.\” Yes, I didn\’t think about it that much before. When I discovered that my daily planner wasn\’t working as well as I expected, I started to wonder what was wrong. Until one time, I listened to a family education lecture organized by the district and suddenly understood the problem. First, parents should let their children make their own daily schedules and let them take charge of their own lives. We hope that children will be self-disciplined, but we ignore that the premise of self-discipline is autonomy, which is recognized by the child himself and what he wants to do. Children don\’t like parents who do everything. Second, pay attention to the needs of your children. It is every parent’s wish to have a successful child, but we must also pay attention to the laws of physical and mental development of our children and balance work with rest. Children’s plans should not only be about studying, entertainment and sports should also be taken into consideration. Third, parents encourage their children to think positively about what needs to be done in the plan, do not evaluate or control their children\’s plans, and give appropriate suggestions. This is difficult, but important. Fourth, the daily schedule is not drawn up once and then put in place once and for all. During later implementation, unreasonable or omitted areas will be discovered and must be updated and improved in a timely manner. After making it a few times, your child will become more comfortable with it. After hearing the suggestion, my friend looked embarrassed. I shared my story with her. Before my son\’s third grade summer vacation, I suggested that he make a daily schedule and implement tasks according to the schedule every day. He pouted and was unwilling to do it, saying he had done it before and didn\’t want to do it. But after learning that he could arrange his own schedule this time, he became interested again. Soon, my son showed me his prepared plan, which surprised me: get up at 9 o\’clock, do homework for an hour, play the piano for half an hour, and play the rest of the time. I really wanted to say that this plan was unscientific and unreasonable, but I was also afraid of killing his enthusiasm. I want to respect him, but also want to guide him to follow my ideas. \”Are you trying to say that my plan was bad?\” My son seemed to see what I was thinking. \”It\’s not bad. Just implement it like this. I\’m afraid that after the summer vacation, your hard-working classmates will leave you far behind. Are you willing?\” The son shook his head, and then he added: \”But I will just leave you behind during the vacation.\” I just want to play and have fun. You told me to make the decision myself.\” The atmosphere suddenly became awkward. My husband came over to smooth things over: \”Then let\’s try out this plan for a week.\” I\’m very glad that my husband came to the rescue in time. A week later, I asked my son how the trial went. He said he would go and play with other children, they always had other plans. It\’s too boring to play alone, and he wanted to hear my advice. \”Vacation is indeed a good time to relax and have fun, but you can also use this rare vacation to improve your overall personal quality by combining work and rest. For example, your plan can add exercise, you can go swimming with Xiaoxuan, or go swimming with Xiaolu Play badminton together… Going to bed early and getting up early will give you the same amount of sleep as going to bed late and getting up late, but going to bed early and getting up early is more conducive to your physical and mental development.\” After listening to my suggestion, he expressed his willingness to modify it. \”Mom, half an hour for Chinese, half an hour for reading, half an hour for math, and ten minutes for English. Is this a good arrangement? I can finish my homework at ten o\’clock.\” \”Studying for two hours in a row is a bit tiring, but two days a day is fine. , can you stick to it throughout the holiday? These factors must be taken into consideration to avoid failure to implement the plan after it is formulated.\” \”Then I will add a 15-minute break between the two assignments.\” After the plan is completed, the son pastes it on the wall of the desk above, visible by looking up. Occasionally, my son will slack off, so I will use a schedule instead of urging: \”What is your next plan? When are you going to do it?\” When my son does well, I will promptly affirm his self-discipline: \”You I completed the task within the specified time today, which is really good.\” \”I think you arranged it this way, and it is very efficient.\” After persisting for a period of time, this has become a life skill for the child, and he is used to making his own plans Table, get used to a regular life, and can better arrange your life and study. My friend didn\’t say anything after listening. I encouraged her, instead of complaining,Better to change. She said she would go back and have a good talk with her child today. A few days later, my friend called and said that she was in almost the same situation as me. Fortunately, she was fully prepared mentally. These days, she is forcing herself not to rush him. I shared my three suggestions with her: When cultivating self-discipline in children, parents should lead by example. If parents understand self-discipline, self-restraint and self-respect, and live an orderly life, their children will understand it and regard it as the highest standard. When cultivating children\’s self-discipline, parents must provide care. The development of any skill requires time and training. After all, children are children, and we cannot expect them to understand what we are saying all at once and change their previous behaviors and habits immediately. It takes time for children to learn self-discipline, and it also requires parents to be sensitive to their children\’s needs, sensitively seize the opportunity of education, invest a lot of energy, and give more love. When cultivating children\’s self-discipline, parents must adapt wisely. Children\’s growth is accompanied by various emergencies, and parents need to adjust methods in a timely manner to find the method that is most suitable for their children.