How do children achieve strict self-discipline? You must master this golden formula

Some time ago, a video became popular on the Internet. In the video, the boy was playing the piano and crying loudly, performing a \”bitter meat trick\”. His mother said that the child has been practicing piano for less than a year and usually plays a lot to avoid practicing. But now there has been a lot of progress, because the child knows that no matter how hard he cries, he still has to practice the piano. Netizens said: \”Learning music should be a happy thing, but it is too difficult for our children to do this.\” Seeing this scene, many parents also thought of their own children. When learning something new, children are very motivated at first, but as time goes by, they always want to give up due to various difficulties. Parents cannot bear to see their children suffer, nor do they want their children to give up halfway. That\’s difficult. A German mother’s experience in teaching integrity and self-discipline: Teach good children who are strong + independent + tolerant + frugal. In fact, most children will habitually want to give up when they do something, because persistence itself is difficult. This is true for adults, let alone children. Only by activating the child\’s inner motivation can the child persevere better. The book \”When Parents Mature, Children Become Talented\” writes: \”Children\’s hearts are immature. They may work hard because of a parent\’s words of encouragement, or they may feel sad and lose confidence because of a parent\’s bored look.\” Behind children who know how to persevere, there are often parents who can guide them. Three-minute heat is the nature of children. My friend has been very distressed these days. My children always have three-minute heat in everything they do. I read a few pages in a story book, then threw it away and went to play with other things; I built my favorite building blocks and couldn\’t sit still for a few minutes; I like to draw, so I bought a brush and a notebook, but after a few days I didn\’t want to draw anymore. . A few days ago, she purchased the audio version of English courses online. The child liked it very much. He listened to the audio for most of the day and even chased his mother to ask for English words… After a week, the child basically mastered the conversation of greeting, and the mother was overjoyed. , when I was considering enrolling my child in English classes, the child suddenly told her mother that she no longer wanted to learn English. The mother complains that her child has no patience for doing things and will definitely not take his studies seriously in the future. She even begins to worry that he will give up on things halfway when he grows up… Her worries are not unreasonable. Roy Baumeister, a scientist who systematically observed and measured the limits of willpower, once proposed an interesting theory: Willpower is as limited as a muscle. It will gradually tire after use, just like muscles will lose strength if they are not allowed to rest after exercise. Not only that, neuroscientists have discovered that every time you use willpower, the activity of the brain\’s self-control system will decrease. Just like tired legs will give up running, your brain will also go on strike. That is to say, when people use willpower, they will consume the body\’s energy, and the consumption of energy will weaken the willpower itself. This well explains why children are always \”three minutes hot\”, because \”persistence\” itself is something that goes against physiological norms. Therefore, parental supervision and guidance are very necessary, otherwise the child\’s three-minute fever will cause him to have troubles when encountering difficulties in his future life.If you give up habitually, you will end up not doing anything well. The neighbor\’s child took many interest classes, including dance, piano, calligraphy, hosting, taekwondo… but he gave up midway every time. My mother also respected the child\’s preferences and didn\’t force her if she didn\’t like it. After 3 years, the child has nothing. Learn well. Later, the child fell in love with painting and studied it for almost a year. It was the only interest that lasted the longest. Although there was a problem in the middle that he was unwilling to learn, it got over with some coaxing. Download the American classic movie Charlie and the Chocolate Factory in ultra-clear 1080P Recently, the child has become unwilling to learn again. The mother was cruel and forced the child to go to school. Unexpectedly, the child cried in frustration. The mother is very depressed. It is wrong to let things go. Forcing the child will be counterproductive. The child is determined not to learn. Parents enroll their children in interest classes. In addition to letting their children learn a specialty, more importantly, they can help their children learn to endure hardships and never give up, and cultivate the quality of perseverance in doing things. When your child wants to give up, don\’t be too quick to criticize and feel anxious about yourself. Only by finding the reasons behind it can we help children eliminate problems and overcome difficulties in a targeted manner. Accompanying children to find a sense of perseverance is the first step to ignite internal drive. Li Xiaolai wrote in \”Treat Time as a Friend\”: \”Interest is the biggest lie. It\’s not about doing something because you are interested, but doing it well. Only when you are interested. There are five stages of understanding, understanding, trying, experiencing, and advocating for something. Only when appropriate small achievements and small successes are achieved at any stage can the behavior be changed to the next stage. This is the so-called source of interest. That’s why. Therefore, it’s not that you can do well only if you are interested, but that you are interested only if you do well.” If a child can feel a sense of accomplishment and self-satisfaction during the learning process, he will have a stronger interest in learning. interest. The sense of accomplishment can drive children to keep moving forward, from having to do well to wanting to do well. The famous writer Yin Jianli is also very skillful in educating children. Under his guidance, her daughter successfully persisted in practicing guzheng. She said that when her daughter first started learning guzheng, she was very motivated. After about a year or so, her interest waned and she even became resistant to practicing the guzheng. She couldn\’t practice the old courses well and couldn\’t keep up with the new courses. She tried all kinds of tricks, both soft and hard, but the results were not good. Later, she patiently communicated with her daughter and found the meaning of practicing guzheng. For example, when she was in a bad mood, playing guzheng could eliminate worries and guide the direction, so that her daughter would no longer resist. Immediately afterwards, she put a little hamster in the room where her daughter practiced, and found that when the little hamster \”danced\” to the sound of the piano, her daughter was very happy and had a sense of accomplishment, which became her motivation for daily practice. Later, she posted a video of her daughter practicing guzheng on her WeChat Moments every day and shared the positive comments with her daughter to further stimulate her daughter\’s initiative. In this way, the child\’s motivation to learn became stronger and stronger, and finally he truly found his sense of self-worth through guzheng, and regained his confidence and interest. Yin Jianli said: What should I do if my children don’t take the initiative in learning? How to make children fall in love with learning and efficient reading class complete mp3 \”In the process of cultivating habits, if you always create children\’s initiative and sense of accomplishment, he will be hereform a good habit. If your child is often made to feel unfree and guilty, he will develop bad habits in this area. \”External control and coercion are short-lived, and internal and sustained motivation is long-lasting. Only by finding a sense of value in learning can children\’s inner initiative be stimulated, so that they can persevere better. In an issue of \”Youth Talk\” Here, Zhao Hangxi, a first-year junior high school girl, once chose to give up due to difficulties when she was learning volleyball. Her mother encouraged her to try to persevere and learn to appreciate the meaning of hard work during practice. Slowly, she was inspired by the spirit of the women\’s volleyball team in volleyball. , devoted herself more actively to training, and gained a full sense of accomplishment in the continuous progress. She said to her mother: \”Mom, I want to thank you. It was you who made me fall in love with volleyball and taught me perseverance and hard work.\” These two spirits. \”When a child wants to give up, parents\’ violent stop will only bring harm to the child. If persistence itself is painful, then let the child experience happiness from the sense of accomplishment. As Liu Yong said: \”Let the child have a sense of accomplishment. , more important than grades. \” Parents also need to do these three things to train their children to become perseverants. In an issue of \”Children\’s Voices\”, my daughter spoke fluently and expressed emotions on the stage, which was praised by the teachers on the stage. When talking about the cultivation of her daughter\’s language ability At that time, my mother said that she took the initiative to obtain a broadcasting and hosting certificate and actively participated in various speech contests to accompany her daughter to improve. When a child wants to give up, what parents have to do is to help the child find out the reasons behind it and accompany the child to face it. Yes, be the strongest backing behind the child. 1. Praise the child correctly and affirm every progress of the child. Fan Deng once said that when praising children, you must praise the process and motivation, not the results. Use a growth mindset and give The child encouraged and helped. The boy said to his mother: \”Mom, I don\’t want to learn hip-hop anymore. During practice today, I fell badly and my knees were blue. Mom replied wittily: \”The teacher told Mom, and asked me to praise you more, saying that your knees were bruised, but you can still continue to study. I think you are very brave.\” \”When a child encounters difficulties and wants to give up, acknowledge the child\’s efforts, give the child more encouragement, and tell him that difficulties are not terrible, but an opportunity to prove your growth. 2. Parents take the lead and persist in doing something Do something and share your experience with your children. If you want your children to persevere, parents cannot give up halfway. Parents face it with their children, and in the process, record every bit of their feelings, share them with their children, and sympathize with their children\’s feelings. Let the children be encouraged and experience the fun of the process. For example: the children write diaries for three days to fish and two days to post online. The mother first makes a plan for herself, insists on writing every day, and shares her experiences, interesting things, and encounters during writing every week. difficulties, how they overcame them, how they found inspiration, the happiness they felt, etc. In the mutual discussion and sharing between mother and child, the children began to actively arrange time to write diaries every day, and their writing quality and speed have greatly improved. Progress. The mother takes the lead and persists in doing something and shares it with her children. While setting an example, she uses personal experience to empathize with her children\’s feelings so that they can be emotionally inspired. 3. Parents and children work togetherHelp children grow in the face of obstacles in persistence. When children encounter setbacks and want to give up, parents should teach their children to face challenges bravely and work together to find solutions to problems, instead of blaming their children for poor performance, lack of perseverance, or giving empty encouragement. Accompany your children to face difficulties together, help them find solutions to problems, and provide specific suggestions for improvement, so that you can help your children get out of their predicaments. In this process, the child\’s ability to deal with things will also become stronger. When children are unable to understand the meaning when doing reading comprehension, parents blindly encourage: \”You can definitely do it, come on\”, or accuse: \”Why can\’t you even do this?\” Both methods are wrong. Unrealistic encouragement will put pressure on children, who are afraid that they will not be able to do well and will disappoint their parents; accusations will make children more nervous and make mistakes. The correct approach is for parents to set small reading goals for their children. If they cannot understand, ask the children to read it a few times more, or read it into separate words and sentences. After the children understand it, they will tell it to their parents. Parents should encourage them step by step. mp3 of 52 compulsory lessons on Chinese parenting strategies for children during the critical period of their growth. This way, children will know the correct solutions when facing the same difficulties in the future. Johnson once said that great works are accomplished not by strength but by persistence. Children who give up halfway do not miss a journey, but a beautiful future. It is the child\’s instinct not to persist, but it is the parents\’ ability to let the child persist. Smart parents are the steadfast companions of their children on the track of life, accompanying them all the way through ups and downs until the end of victory.