How do children make themselves mentally strong? You must do these 3 things

On weekends, I took my five-year-old daughter to learn swimming, hoping to make her braver. But unexpectedly, my daughter became less and less courageous, and she didn’t even dare to go into the water with her swimming ring. I originally thought that after taking her to the water world a few times, my daughter could already swim by herself. In order to make my daughter braver, I decided to coax and coax her into swimming together. Halfway through the swim, I deliberately let go to exercise my daughter\’s courage. Unexpectedly, my daughter was so frightened that she cried loudly. No matter how she tried to coax her, it didn\’t work. As parents, what do we need to do to give our children a strong heart to face future setbacks and pressures? Give children a sense of security. If parents give their children a sense of security, the children will have stable emotions and a peaceful mind. You will also be calm and collected when encountering problems, and be able to better integrate into collective life. There is a question on Zhihu: What will happen to children if they do not establish a sense of security before the age of 3? A high praiser replied: \”The personality can be sensitive and suspicious, and the mood changes completely with the feedback of others. Without feedback, it is easy to be pessimistic and negative.\” I went to the hospital to get the examination report on weekends. I passed by the blood drawing office and saw a child there. He kept crying, and the parents pressed hard on the child to finish drawing the blood. After drawing the blood, his father patted him and said loudly: \”Man, don\’t cry. Men don\’t shed tears easily, don\’t you know?\” But the child didn\’t understand, and he kept crying. Then his parents hugged him. He went downstairs. There was a three-year-old girl next to her, also waiting in line for a blood draw. Her mother was beside her, and I saw her demonstrating to her child how to clench her fists: \”Clench your little fists tightly, and then let go. It will be fine after a while. Babies are the bravest.\” So the little girl quietly watched her mother\’s explanation. , turn your head to one side while drawing blood, and it will be completed in a while. In fact, not only children are afraid of injections, adults are also afraid. Adults should patiently and slowly tell their children that the injection only hurts a little and will be fine in a while. Just like that mother told her child the precautions for getting an injection to distract her child. When studying children\’s personality development, psychologist Erikson pointed out: a sense of security is not innate, but is established in a child\’s early years, especially before the child is 3 years old. Children should pay attention to the cultivation of sense of security during infancy. After birth, the baby\’s physical needs are to be cared for by someone to eat, drink, and defecate, and psychologically, the baby needs to be accompanied by the mother. When these two aspects are satisfied, you will feel psychologically safe. If it is not met, the negative impact will follow the child throughout his life. A sense of security is about the heart-to-heart communication between adults and children, not the physical proximity. Companionship is like a mirror. Children understand the essence of life by observing their parents\’ words and deeds. Let children learn to face setbacks. Zhihu said: \”How to improve children\’s ability to resist setbacks?\” A high praise member replied: \”When children encounter setbacks, parents should listen patiently to their children\’s pain of failure. Let the children feel, A temporary setback is not a serious matter.\” Ma Haowen in the movie \”Galaxy Tutorial\” was imprisoned for \”taking the blame\” for his work unit, and missed 7 years of his son Ma Fei\’s growth. When they met again, the dean said his son was a briquette that could never turn into diamonds no matter how hard he washed it, and ordered him to drop out of school. However, Ma Haowen did notThere is a son who gives up. He uses a unique way to guide the child to be interested in learning, cultivate the child\’s ability to think independently, and encourage the child to grow. There was a scene in the movie where Ma Fei was lying on the bed and saw his father working, and asked: \”Can I not sleep?\” Ma Haowen knew his son\’s little thoughts, so he did not give orders or lectures, but said: \”You can handle your own affairs by yourself.\” Make the decision.\” Seeing his father working so seriously, Ma Fei also picked up his book and read it carefully. Ma Fei was told by his teacher that he was \”missing\” since he was a child, and even his mother said he was stupid. Only Ma Haowen told him firmly: \”Everyone says you are a waste, an idiot, but dad believes that you are not and never will be. You are the smartest child on the earth.\” From then on, Ma Fei began to have a light in his heart. , the motivation for learning began to recover. Later, I finally exceeded everyone\’s expectations and ranked among the top students in my grade. Therefore, when a child encounters setbacks in life or study, adults should not rush to criticize him. Instead, you should patiently guide him to give it a try. Maybe it would be better to try it again. Parents should educate their children not to care too much about what others think of them. Children are very fragile inside, and their self-esteem and self-confidence can easily be hit. Cultivate children\’s life skills To cultivate children with strong hearts, we must cultivate their life skills in life. Once children have the ability to survive independently, they can face setbacks in life with a more confident attitude. Many skills in life require continuous training and guidance from adults before children can truly master them. When children do not do well, adults should patiently guide them instead of reprimanding them in a punitive manner, which will only undermine the child\’s self-confidence. I saw a short film on iQiyi. After my daughter went on vacation, her father taught her how to wash clothes. The father taught his daughter to sort the clothes first. Put the light-colored clothes together and the dark-colored clothes together. Use two separate basins, add warm water and laundry detergent to soak for 20 minutes. Then I brought a washboard and taught my daughter to put the clothes on the washboard and rub them back and forth to wash away the stains on the clothes. Finally, rinse back and forth with clean water until the clothes are clean. During the whole process, my father was patient and meticulous, and netizens also praised him. Suhomlinsky said: \”To educate children well, we must continuously improve educational skills. To improve educational skills, parents need to make personal efforts and continue to educate themselves.\” Most of today\’s children are highly dependent. The ability to take care of oneself is poor and cannot adapt well to the new environment. Therefore, the cultivation of children\’s self-care ability and life skills must be carried out in advance. In order to cultivate a child with a strong heart, parents should do these four things: First, give their children enough love. This is like giving enough sunshine to a young sapling. The child\’s heart will be full of strength and his heart will be stronger. Second, always accompany your children. When children do things, we need to teach them the way of thinking to solve problems, give them an example, and influence them subtly. Third, we must respect our children. Allow children to express their own opinions and express their own thoughts more often. Only such children will have their own opinions. Fourth, give children a sense of security. Children’s sense of security comes from their parents, and parents must be emotionally stable, do not threaten or scare children, do not scare children. Cultivating children with strong hearts requires parents to put in more effort, just in the little moments of daily companionship. Don’t miss every step of your child’s growth, guide your child patiently, and establish a healthy and intimate parent-child relationship with him.