How do parents control their desires? Raise assertive children​

Psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott said that when a child looks up at the face of his parents, he sees himself. Parents bring their children into this wonderful world. They not only bear the responsibility of raising them, but more importantly, educate their children to become adults. We all know that parents are their children\’s first teachers. Their personality traits, behavior styles, etc. all leave a deep imprint on their children\’s growth. Compared with fathers who are responsible for supporting the family, mothers spend more time with their children. Therefore, the mother\’s personality has a more long-term impact on the child\’s destiny. The British poet George Herbert said that a good mother is worth a hundred teachers. I deeply believe that a mother’s positive personality will bring her children a broader and happier future. Controlling mothers cannot raise independent children. American psychologist Rudolf Drakes said: We always think that if children are not allowed to obey the rules, indulgence and chaos will occur. But in fact, this kind of \” \”Forcing children to obey\” will only create more challenges. How many mothers have made this mistake? Originally, I just wanted to guide the children to follow the rules, but I used too much force and took full control of the children\’s lives without knowing it. In the TV series \”Female Psychologist\”, the girl Jiang Jing came to the psychologist He Dun for consultation. She said that she suffered from anorexia nervosa. It turns out that Jiang Jing has a mother with a very strong personality who has very high demands on Jiang Jing. She must practice piano for 10 hours a day, and she will not stop even if her fingers bleed. Not only that, her mother also controlled Jiang Jing\’s social life, not allowing her to fall in love privately, and she had to control what kind of boyfriend she had. There is such a detail in the play. While combing Jiang Jing\’s hair, her mother said unquestionably: \”You are still young. When you grow up, you will know your mother\’s intentions.\” Her mother gave Jiang Jing meticulous care. But he also controlled Jiang Jing\’s life in every detail, causing her to have no independent opinions when she grew up. As a result, she became ill and her life was in a mess. Because they have to take care of housework and care about their children\’s studies, many mothers are busy all day long. In order to save some trouble and worry, they will use imperative methods to ask their children. As time goes by, the mother controls the child\’s study and life more and more forcefully, but she does not realize that the child has no desire for the future in the cage woven by the mother. We must understand that children\’s lives should be controlled by themselves. The more mothers know how to let go and give their children room to grow, the more vigorous their children will be. A grumpy mother raises a child who cannot be in a good mood. Darwin, the founder of the theory of evolution, said: A grumpy temper is one of the more despicable human natures. If a person loses his temper, it is equivalent to taking a step back on the ladder of human progress. In the TV series \”The Hidden Corner\”, the mother of the boy Zhu Chaoyang raised her son alone after her divorce. The burden of life made her temper bad, and she would blame her son on every disagreement. One night, his mother brought hot milk for Zhu Chaoyang to drink. Zhu Chaoyang said he didn\’t want to drink it yet and would drink it later, but his mother insisted that he drink it now. Of course Zhu Chaoyang refused. At this time, mother pressed Zhu Chaoyang\’s head and gritted her teeth, trying to pour all the milk in.The words in his son\’s mouth made Zhu Chaoyang tremble with fear. He didn\’t understand why his mother would do this to him? Zhu Chaoyang, who was originally introverted and quiet, became even more silent, so much so that he was later involved in a bigger turmoil. His emotions fluctuated greatly, and he even almost collapsed at one point. The mother is originally the person to whom the child is most attached, but a mother who may get angry at any time will make the child live in fear all day long, for fear that he will offend his mother if he does something wrong. Just like Zhu Chaoyang, even though he encountered huge setbacks, he never said a word to his mother because he did not dare to say anything and could only handle everything by himself. 1080P Ultra-clear Little Lolita’s Monkey God Uncle Thunder Download “I recommend you watch this movie at least ten times.” When the child’s small body cannot bear it, the emotions will inevitably collapse completely, but the mother may still blame the child. , asking the child why he didn’t tell him earlier? In fact, only when a mother truly understands her willingness to accept and tolerate her children more, and to blame and criticize her children\’s mistakes less, can the children be willing to open up to their mothers. A gentle and firm mother is a good destiny for her child\’s growth. There is a saying that the most important thing in life is not where you stand, but in which direction you go. For children who are not familiar with the world, a gentle but firm mother must be the best guide in their growth. In the hit \”Xiao Min\’s Family\” some time ago, Liu Xiaomin, played by Zhou Xun, decided to divorce and leave Jiujiang, Jiangxi Province because she could not bear the domestic violence, gambling and cheating husband. After working hard in Beijing for more than ten years, Liu Xiaomin finally gained a foothold and wanted to take the Computer Science Department of Tsinghua University. His son Jin Jiajun followed his grandmother to live with his mother. Liu Xiaomin speaks softly and gently, even though Jin Jiajun misunderstands her because of her father\’s affairs. She didn\’t show any emotion, but took the initiative to communicate with her son and firmly expressed her attitude towards life. In order to encourage Jin Jiajun to study well for the college entrance examination, he took leave to take his son to visit Tsinghua University. The mother and son rode bicycles and felt the learning atmosphere in the Tsinghua campus. Counting the successful cases of education, it is not difficult to find that mothers who can bring their children a good life have done the following three things: First, be a mother who lets her children grow up. American writer Albert Hubbard said, When parents do too much for their children, the children don\’t do too much for themselves. As the children grow up, mothers continue to teach them survival skills and learning methods. The children will learn to take responsibility for their own lives and make decisions about their own futures. Mothers stand by their children\’s side, be their strong backing, and can give them appropriate guidance, but they must respect their children\’s life choices, because that is their children\’s life. Secondly, be an emotionally stable and gentle mother. Psychologist Daniel Goleman proposed in his book \”Emotional Intelligence\” that human abilities such as self-awareness, self-discipline, perseverance and full devotion have a greater impact on a person\’s life than IQ is more important. Mothers who are emotionally stable and do not lose their temper at will can bring a more stable family atmosphere to their children and cultivate their children\’s gentler emotional abilities. Mother is the person closest to the child. Whatever the mother is like, the child will learn well.It seems that the softer the mother speaks, the more likely she is to raise emotionally normal children. Third, as a firm and principled mother, the British reformer Samuel Smiles said: A person without principles and will is like a ship without a rudder and a compass. He will follow the wind. Change your direction at any time. A child\’s growth is not arbitrary. The more determined and principled a mother is in doing things, the more able she is to lead her child to move forward in a set direction. Mothers can guide their children to find their strengths in growth based on their children\’s personality characteristics, which can help them avoid detours and help them have a smooth future. In the movie \”Mysterious Superstar\”, the actor Mei Weijia, who plays Yin Xiya\’s mother, said: \”In every child\’s life, the mother is the real superstar.\” The mother is the one who brings the child into this world, and even more so A guide for children’s growth. Children and their mothers get along day and night, day and night. Under such a subtle influence, the children are of course the most profound and long-term influence by their mothers. Therefore, what kind of personality a mother has will lead to a child with a certain destiny. BBC Documentary Wings of Life Introduction Download Ultra HD 1080P If you want your children to have a better destiny, then be a good mother who is gentle but firm. Only such a mother can lead her children to move forward and grow in the direction of their dreams!