How do parents handle when their children lose their temper?

Many parents will encounter this situation more or less: when their children lose their temper, no matter how patient and reasonable the parents are, it will not help, and it will even make the child\’s mood worse, thus causing parents a lot of headaches. What is the reason for this? Scientific research has revealed some brain mechanisms that may explain why reasoning with children doesn\’t work when they have a tantrum. There is a prefrontal cortex in the human brain, which is responsible for decision-making and self-control. The child\’s prefrontal cortex has not yet fully matured, and external pressure will weaken the child\’s limited self-control ability. When we try to reason with our children, we are actually talking to the immature prefrontal cortex. Especially when a child loses control of his emotions, his brain will automatically shut down rational thinking. No matter how many reasons you say, he will not listen and will become more stubborn. What should parents do when their child loses his temper? Parents should first know which methods cannot be used. Beating, scolding, cold violence, over-indoctrination, etc. are not solutions to the problem and will damage the parent-child relationship. The book \”Positive Discipline\” written by American writer Jane Nelson introduces a method of \”winning cooperation\”, which is a method worth learning from. Free download of the most comprehensive video tutorial on teaching pinyin letters for primary school students in history \”Winning cooperation\” has three steps: The first step is to understand the child\’s feelings. When your child loses control of his emotions, instead of lecturing and blaming him, you can say to him, \”I understand how you feel.\” Sometimes giving a child a hug may have unexpected effects. This may be difficult for parents to do, but understanding and empathizing with your child\’s feelings is indeed more effective than scolding. At this time, parents should observe the emotions and needs behind the child through his behavior, and look at the problem from his perspective. The second step is to express your feelings. When we understand our children, they are often willing to listen to us because they feel that their parents are not on the opposite side of them. Don\’t rush to reason at this time. The best way is to tell him how others feel at this time, arouse his empathy, guide the child to think and empathize, and let him know the consequences of his actions. If he loses his temper, It also brings uneasiness, sadness and other feelings to parents. The third step is to come up with solutions. After dealing with the emotions, we can start to deal with the child\’s problems. Why do children lose their temper? Because his demands have not been resolved and met. We might as well ask the child questions and ask him what good solutions he has. You can discuss these issues with your children without any emotion, help them face their own emotions, and at the same time, through questioning and sorting out, let your children understand how to express themselves correctly instead of losing their temper when they encounter the same situation next time. This is much better than throwing tantrums ourselves or not allowing our children to express their emotions. Everyone is inevitably influenced by their family of origin. Parents need to realize that the way we educate our children is often influenced by our own parenting behavior when we were young. Children will learn to imitate their parents\’ various behaviors and ways of doing things, and this intergenerational transmission occurs in a subtle process. So as parents, when faced with children losing control of their emotions, weYou must first stay calm and rational, and don\’t set a bad example for your children in the wrong way. Good family education concepts and methods can also be passed down from generation to generation. Parents need to learn more, think more, and accompany their children to change and grow in a good direction.