How do you raise children so tired? 7 major reasons, how many have you won?

In the past, there were more children and fewer parents. Parents were busy making a living, and the children grew up day by day; now, there are fewer children and more parents, and conditions have improved. Several adults circle around one child, but they still complain that it is \”too difficult to take care of.\” Why is this? Parents are tired of raising children, which is mainly reflected in these 7 aspects. Expectations for children are too high. In most families with children, children are the center of the center. Parents are around their children all day long, planning everything for their children, from birth, to kindergarten, to elementary school, middle school and high school, until the child goes to college, works, gets married, buys a house, and the child gives birth to a child, almost without a day off. . During this period, there are all kinds of worries, all kinds of comparisons, all kinds of choices, all kinds of entanglements, all kinds of efforts, all kinds of incompetence, all kinds of full of hope, all kinds of discouragement and disappointment, all kinds of knowing that this will happen, and all kinds of regrets. Often when the children get older, they themselves get older, and then there are various expectations for the children to repay their parents and be filial to their parents. How can you not be tired after decades of being so mentally and physically exhausted? The root cause of such tiredness is that parents have too high expectations for their children, including expectations for their own development and expectations for their children to repay their parents. With such high expectations, it is not only the parents who are stressed, but also the children. But why do we have such high expectations for our children? Isn’t it great that he can become an independent, independent, and happy adult? If parents could look past this, put aside all external expectations of fame and fortune for their children, and care about the inner peace and satisfaction of their children and parents, parenting life would be much easier. People other than parents are too involved. We often see that some parents push one in the stroller, hold another in their arms, and hold another in their hands. Two people, or even one person, can take a small group of babies with them. But our typical scene is a team of people with a baby, parents taking care of them, grandparents waiting on them, and even a nanny and aunt carrying large and small bags to provide logistical support. The emperor goes on tour. Let us draw an analogy. A small family is like a company. Originally, the parents themselves should be the wholly-owned shareholders and the highest responsible persons, and have the decision-making power on all matters. However, many families have accepted various \”investments\” from their elders – funding to buy a house, taking care of the confinement, helping to take care of the baby, etc. So grandma, grandpa, grandpa, and grandma took more or less ownership of the family and became \”shareholders\” because of their \”investment.\” As shareholders, they must express opinions and participate in decision-making, and some even require themselves to have \”veto power.\” Such a governance structure has made the originally simple family affairs extremely complicated. As the head of the family, how can parents not be tired? What\’s even worse is that some parents can\’t even guarantee their status as the head of the family. They still need to let their parents make the final decision on their family affairs, so everyone is working hard and has many conflicts. Other children who are too obsessed with comparison are taking various tutoring classes. Should we join them? If not, will the child lose at the starting line? Other children are eating foreign milk powder that costs hundreds of dollars per bucket. If we don’t eat it, will it affect our children’s development? other childrenEveryone is wearing famous brands. If we don’t buy them, will we be laughed at as poor? Others, others, others… In the eyes of many parents, they see too many others all the time, what they do and how they do it, and they often use what others do and how they do it as a criterion and guide. You have to keep an eye on others all the time, and you also have to keep up with yourself so as not to fall behind. How can you not be anxious and tired? However, others are others, and we are us. We have our own principles, our own choices, and our own ways of behaving. Why should we follow others? I believe parents can look past this and save a lot of time and effort on the road to raising children. Parents who interfere too much in their children\’s affairs want to do their best for their children, but they often interfere too much in their children\’s affairs, resulting in children who cannot be independent from childhood to adulthood. When children go to school, they help carry their schoolbags and write down homework; when children write homework, their parents accompany and stare at them; when teachers assign tasks, often before the children know what to do, parents have already jumped on it, regardless of their own safety. Helped the child to finish. Not to mention keeping an eye on the daily routine of eating, dressing, bathing, and going to the toilet. Children who are \”taken care of\” in this way have almost only two things left in their lives: attending classes and interest classes. They cannot develop the ability to learn independently or live independently. Parents have no choice but to take care of them all the time. Tired of waiting, serving, and tired. Only by cultivating children\’s autonomy from an early age, including independent living, independent learning, independent reading, and independent emotions, can parents be truly relaxed. This is not to be lazy, but to allow the child to truly grow as an independent individual and become a better version of himself. Information Overload and Lack of Opinion Parents are tired of raising children. In addition to the above-mentioned reasons, there is another reason that is not so obvious but definitely exists, which is that they are exposed to too much information but lack opinions on how to raise children. Here, when I see a child in need of prenatal education, I quickly learn how to do it; there, I see a child in need of early education, so I quickly take the child to various early childhood education classes; here, I see a newborn who needs swimming exercise, so I take the child with me. Go to the baby swimming pool; when you see the children there asking for supplements for this and that, you quickly buy them for them. A lot of time and energy are spent on collecting as much information as possible, and then running around following this information. Parenting requires a certain degree of separation. We actually don’t need so much information. What’s more important is to form our own “opinion” through independent reading and learning. I know what method is good, I know what I should do, I know which of my practices should be adhered to, and which of my methods should be debugged. In this way, you don\’t need to be bombarded and overwhelmed by overloaded information, but you can also adopt a concise, effective and constant approach in your parenting life. The whole process will be much simpler and easier. There is a sharp term for the lack of father\’s participation, which is called \”widowed parenting\”. It refers to the situation where the father does not participate in child care and is absent from the child\’s growth. It is probably the norm for many families that the father does not participate in raising the children, and it is the mother’s sole responsibility to take care of the children. This is also the opinion of many mothers.An important reason why raising children is so tiring. When parents raise their children together, they not only share the specific tasks in childcare life, but also discuss various issues about the child, come to a consensus, and then take action together. The advantages of this are that firstly, the workload can be reduced through sharing, and secondly, both the child and the parents can establish a close relationship. Of course, more importantly, the parents\’ companionship allows the child\’s psychology and personality to develop better. Healthy and sound. Lack of rational consumption leads to excessive financial pressure and the exhaustion of raising children. The last and most unavoidable reason is financial pressure. Some parents one-sidedly believe that they should do their best to give their children the best, and their consumption is irrational, causing excessive financial pressure. There is such a case: an ordinary working-class father spent 700 yuan on a skirt for his three or four-year-old daughter. Of course, a skirt that costs 700 yuan is likely to be of good quality and design, and it may be very beautiful when worn by a child. However, if parents do not consider their own affordability and just continue to consume like this, how long can they persist? How can they not feel great pressure? As the saying goes, \”One child has ten acres of land.\” It is certainly unrealistic to say that it is not hard at all to raise a child from a newborn baby to an adult, but hard work does not mean stress or exhaustion. We have seen parents who are exhausted from raising their children, and we have also seen many parents who feel relaxed and happy raising their children. Is it tiring to raise a child? It still depends on what parents choose. If parents can eliminate the factors that make parenting life exhausting, I believe that raising children will become a quite enjoyable, beautiful and relaxing life journey.