How do you view the education experience of children winning at the starting line?

We parents often say \”Don\’t let your children lose at the starting line\”, and we often hear the saying \”life is a marathon\”. But thinking about it carefully, I found that these two sentences cannot be carefully considered together. Why? Children\’s Literacy Paradise\’s magical Chinese character story enlightenment education cartoon, 20 episodes in total. First of all, marathon is a long-distance running sport. It is taboo to \”win at the starting line\”. If you start running too fast, you will easily \”hit the wall\” in the second half of the race. Or \”cramps\” and other conditions. Secondly, the marathon track is designed in advance, and the path of life requires you to find your own direction in life. What exactly should parents train their children so that they can calmly complete their mission in the marathon of life? My marathon runner + coach Digger not only has a successful career and a happy family, but also successfully raised three outstanding children from prestigious schools. He quietly told his parenting secrets: \”More companionship and less teaching, more encouragement and less criticism, more dedication and less care, be the children\’s cheerleading team, occasionally go on stage to be a \”coach\” or \”team leader\”, respect the children\’s choices, and cultivate good character .\” It suddenly dawned on me, what a simple and simple sentence! Looking back on the various lives of myself and my relatives, classmates, and friends around me, I found that character development is really the most important thing, and academic achievements are really insignificant, especially when you stretch the coordinates of time. The longer one\’s life is, the more obvious this effect becomes. Think about it, how many parents are worried about their children attending this intellectual development class or that early education interest class. Many times, \”short-term utilitarianism\” allows us to limit the \”usefulness\” of knowledge to a very small range, while ignoring the long-term and far-reaching character effects of those \”useless\” learning and activities. Early character is not cultivated but imitated. I think a child’s early character is not cultivated but imitated. This is why we sometimes say that children are a mirror of their parents. Many children more or less inherit the personality traits of their parents, so you might say, look, innate genes determine personality. Although some of our genetic material affects who we become. Early studies of twins demonstrated that personality is shaped by certain genetic influences. But I don’t believe that characters are all innate, they are largely related to circumstances. In the end, you will find that the personalities of many children are inherited from their parents or one of their parents. You can say it is genetic, or it can be seen as family influence since childhood. I prefer to believe that personality has a lot to do with childhood experiences and the environment in which one grew up. Parents\’ words and deeds, as well as the character of parents or other family members, have a great influence on the formation of children\’s character. In other words, the formation of a child\’s personality is affected by his parents and family environment. The former first lady of the United States recalled how her mother was strong as a mother and outspoken to her children when she was a child. For example, parents may tell their children 1,000 times that before crossing the road, they should stop and look both ways before crossing the road. But if your parents don’t stop and look left and right when crossing the road,The child won\’t listen because your behavior is contrary to what you say. In the marshmallow experiment, we mentioned that the integrity of the adults operating the experiment will affect the behavior of the children in the experiment. For another example, if I usually don’t like to socialize, I am easily irritable, lose my temper, and have no patience with my children. Then the child will naturally imitate your behavior, and the character brought out will naturally be bad. It is useless to rely on preaching alone during this period. Parents must rely on their own words and deeds to set an example. Therefore, parents\’ words and deeds should be consistent so as not to confuse their children. Psychologist Freud once said, \”A person\’s life is always making up for the lack of childhood.\” According to his theory, a person\’s growth process, the childhood growth period has the most profound impact. The philosopher Bacon once said: \”Reading history makes people wise, reading poetry makes people smart, mathematics makes people thoughtful, science makes people profound, ethics makes people solemn, and the study of logic and rhetoric makes people good. Debate; everything learned becomes character.\” The famous physicist Yang Zhenning. Although his father, Mr. Yang Wuzhi, discovered his mathematical talent when he was nine or ten years old, he did not let Yang Zhenning only focus on mathematics. Strengthen learning, but enrich and cultivate him in traditional Chinese culture. During the summer vacation between Yang Zhenning\’s first year of junior high school and his second year of junior high school, he asked Ding Zeliang, a history student at Tsinghua University, to teach Yang Zhenning how to read \”Mencius\” and a lot of historical knowledge that he had never learned from textbooks. The rich philosophical concepts and moral concepts contained in \”Mencius\” have had a beneficial impact on Yang Zhenning\’s subsequent research ideas and even his lifelong growth. Of course, many successful people are often courageous, considerate, perseverant, good at observation and flexible use of their own advantages, honest, conscientious, creative and ambitious. The examples of celebrities are not comparable. I will give some examples from around me. For example, when playing chess, children\’s attitude towards winning or losing will be different from those who have not learned it. Playing chess can cultivate the courage to face strong players and the wisdom to adjust one\’s tactics according to the opponent\’s situation. And from the experience of growing up after encountering failure in playing chess, you learn to persevere, learn from the experience and lessons of failure, and make a comeback in the future. Moreover, playing chess is good for cultivating a person\’s computing power, observation ability, and memory ability. To play chess, you also need to be good at planning in advance, flexibly adjusting your tactics, and accepting the consequences of every move. Another example is ice skating. The University of Delaware in our city has very good ice skating facilities. People who have seriously learned to skate have a different attitude towards setbacks. I fell down at the beginning and had to get up again. Over time, a person becomes less vulnerable. Skate well and develop confidence. And many figure skating masters are also good at dancing. They have to be good at creating some performances, which is also a kind of cultivation for creativity. They also have strong perseverance, because skating requires regular practice to excel. If you practice double acting, you also need teamwork, and these experiences are useful in many disciplines and careers. Let me talk about music again. In the community where I live, there lives an excellent music professor at a local university and a famous violinist. rootAccording to my observation, if a person who has studied music is good at playing and has the opportunity to participate in performances, he will know how to capture the hearts of the audience. Then he is probably good at discovering the audience\’s preferences and adjusting the repertoire according to their requirements. This is a flexible combination of artistic expression and observation. Because learning music is very time-consuming, in addition to practice there are also cultural classes, so I found that many children who persist are also very good at time management. If you want to join the school band, you also need to be a team player. Let’s talk about art. The American art teacher at a local private aristocratic school is a good friend of mine. My feeling is that people who have studied art and are good at it often have strong creativity and observation skills. Moreover, most artists are introverts, and they are good at comprehensive analysis. Analyzing the works of masters and famous artists and learning from them is also part of learning, imitating and creating. This American art teacher showed me her artwork from her trip to China. She not only imitates traditional Chinese landscape paintings, galloping horses in Chinese paintings, etc. perfectly. What’s even more interesting is that she used the techniques and styles of watercolor and oil painting that she is good at to paint the beautiful scenery of the mountains in Zhangjiajie, Hunan, China. I admired her creativity and flexible use of painting skills. Another example is the debate team in American schools. I found that children who are eloquent have strong logical and language organization skills and know how to look at problems dialectically. So many people with good logic have an advantage in law school and the legal profession. In the article I shared before, I also gave examples of elite schools in the United States. In addition to imparting knowledge, it is more important to cultivate humanistic spirit, morality, and character. What you learn affects your personality, and your personality affects your destiny. If you are diligent and smart, it will be easier for you to learn many subjects well and participate in many extracurricular activities. The more choices you have, the greater your ability to control your destiny. Long Yingtai said: \”Literature allows you to see things that were previously invisible, and allows you to see the reflection of poplar trees in the water; philosophy allows you to recognize the stars from the maze of thoughts, so that you have the possibility to get out of the maze of thoughts; history is Let you know that the desert rose has its specific starting point, and no phenomenon exists in isolation. Therefore, literature allows you to see, philosophy allows you to position yourself, and history allows you to connect.\” Jobs shared his experience at the Stanford University graduation ceremony that year story. After dropping out of college in his first year, he did not leave school. Instead, he took some classes that interested him, one of which was an art calligraphy class. This lesson, which seemed completely useless at the time, came into play 10 years later when he designed variable fonts for computers. Jobs said this: \”If I had not taken this art calligraphy class, Apple computers would not have invented such beautiful fonts; and since Microsoft Windows copied Apple\’s, it is very likely that there would not be such fonts on all personal computers. .” Jobs reflected this way: “When I was in college, it was impossible to connect many dots in the future. But 10 years later, when I looked back, it was so clear and obvious.” I understand the character very well. \”Determines destiny\”, but I think it is not accurate to say so. Many times, personality will affect youYour destiny, what really determines your destiny is actually your choice. This is why sometimes, learning to stand in line is often more important than your strength; who you work with or letting others know that you have done something is often more important than what you specifically did; recognizing \”small trends\” is better than staying in the big trend inside is more important. Just like running a computer program, it is your logical choice that determines your ultimate fate. Download the secret of Finland’s No. 1 education in the world [Collector’s Edition] So parents sometimes ask themselves, have their children won at the starting line? It is better to ask, how much impact does this activity have on the growth of children? Of course, learning methods and attitudes are also important. No matter what they study, those who are serious and diligent usually have much better results. A good character will benefit you for a lifetime, and it will last a long time. Looking back on the various lives of myself and my relatives, classmates, and friends around me, I found that character cultivation is really the most important thing, and academic achievements are really insignificant. Especially when you extend the coordinate of time to the length of life, this effect becomes more obvious. And I found that many children with good outcomes are smart, diligent, good at learning, and good at dealing with interpersonal relationships. If you want your children to be broad-minded and considerate, the example of your parents is very important. For example, if a child likes to care about everything, and you tell him a hundred times not to be \”petty,\” you might as well let the child serve the community more, volunteer in the library or community, and help others. If they pay, they won\’t be so fussy, and it will teach them how to learn and accumulate from the people and things around them, and from historical stories. In fact, studying history and absorbing the experiences and lessons of previous generations can cultivate children\’s analytical skills and make them wise. Therefore, parents should not think that some subjects or activities are \”useless\”. They have their own value and necessity. An interesting phenomenon is that many successful people in the American business world did not study corresponding business or management majors in their undergraduate studies, but \”useless\” humanities majors. For example, Lloyd Blankfein, CEO of the investment bank Goldman Sachs, majored in history at Harvard for his undergraduate degree; Steve Schwarzman, CEO of the private equity firm Blackstone, majored in culture and behavior at Yale; the online payment company PayPal United Peter Thiel, founder and former CEO and author of \”From Zero to 1,\” majored in philosophy at Stanford as an undergraduate. I\’m not saying that science and engineering are not important. Of course, technology and engineering are important. Many Chinese children are good in science and engineering. But why is there not much room for upside later? In addition to shortcomings in dealing with interpersonal relationships, as well as the differences in methods and ways of thinking when dealing with many problems due to the differences between Eastern and Western cultures, many times there is not enough understanding of subjects such as American culture and history, religion and philosophy. Character cultivation is not just a matter of childhood. Don’t think that character cultivation is just a matter of childhood. It also applies to adults, especially to those who have the courage to change themselves. I have seen many examples around me. I recorded the process of stepping out of my comfort zone, achieving my goals, and setting an example for my children. Parents can also constantly improve themselves. I also shared that as a dad, in the process of raising a baby, I experience the painful and happy process of becoming a better version of myself. Socrates once said this famous saying: \”A life without reflection is not worth living.\” It should be a motto that everyone uses to remind themselves and review themselves frequently. Education is a lifelong career, and parents really need to study hard, think hard, and take every action they think is useful for their children. Character development is especially important for people who are born with bad personalities. The training of parents and the subtle influence of peers all play a decisive role in reshaping the character. The combination of having a good character and a healthy body is much more important than reading good books. Life is a process of discovering yourself and understanding the world. A book about the future for parents: seize the critical period of development of children aged 0-7 to cultivate lifelong advantages. I hope every parent can cultivate children with mental health, good character, and great love, respect their children\’s choices, and be their children\’s best choice. Role models and cheerleaders.