How easy is it to raise a child to waste?

In last week\’s article, a reader left a message: I have a relative with two children, the older one is over 9 years old and the younger one is over 3 years old. Ever since I was a child, I had to take my tablet with me every time I went out. I would play with it on the road, and I would carry it with me when I got off the car and continue playing with it. Even if the battery ran out, I would have to recharge it. The older one now has a very bad temper and is not very gregarious. Every time he comes to the house, several children have to fight! If they really fight, they will take action if they disagree with each other. If they win, they will continue to play the game. If they lose, they will cry and act violently. Because my daughter has witnessed the situation of relatives’ children, she is afraid that she will become like that if she is addicted to electronic products. She does not dare to play for too long every time she plays. Perhaps the main reason is that the child must have other hobbies, such as reading, handicrafts, drawing, etc. 10 signs that your child is being fostered useless This message is very valuable! I will use the topic to play with it today. Readers who are familiar with me know that I rarely make alarmist remarks when speaking or writing articles, but today I am worried that I will waste a child. Why? First of all, let me ask you a question: Do you think external hardship, pressure, control, humiliation, beating, contempt, etc., will inevitably destroy a person? the answer is negative! Interference and destruction from the outside world will indeed give people negative feelings and lead to self-deprecation, but they will not completely destroy people. On the contrary, under certain conditions, it can make people feel inferior, and inferiority can inspire the power of self-change and self-transcendence, allowing people to pursue excellence. Psychologist Adler has a profound discussion on this. Maslow, another famous psychologist, was abused, humiliated, and abandoned by his mother since childhood, but he could still grow into a healthy and happy person who made great contributions to the human spiritual field. So, what makes someone crippled? It’s just a feeling: the world belongs to others and I can’t get out of it! I can\’t help myself! I have no hope! I am done! Once a person thinks this way from the bottom of his heart, it will really become useless. Why am I worried that this child will become useless? Because from this child\’s daily lack of self-control, it can be seen that he has deep similar feelings. A person who cannot control himself will definitely give up on himself deeply! Let yourself slide into the abyss without being able to save yourself. Let’s look at another major characteristic of this child: irritability. What are the underlying causes of irritability? The fear of wasting your life, the fear of being unable to control yourself. for example. A primary and secondary school student took the initiative to make an agreement with his classmates: We will finish our homework at 9pm on Saturday and play online games for an hour. Both of them finished their homework quickly and with high quality, and started playing at 9 o\’clock. After playing for an hour, no matter whether you win or lose, you feel thoroughly satisfied. The same primary and secondary school student would hold onto his mobile phone when he got home. Three hours had passed, his homework had not been done, and he had not eaten. Even if no one restricted him from playing games, he would feel irritable. Why? A normal person will feel guilt and crisis for wasting his life. Therefore, whether it is an adult or a child, people who feel that their lives are wasting their lives and who have a low sense of control over their future will become irritable. Do you see any person who is comfortable with work, career, family, and children who is often irritable? ! On the contrary, anything that adds interest to the value of life brings joy to the heart. That 9-year-old child, he won’t say it, but he must feel that playing with electronic products excessively is a waste of life. In his heart,I don’t want to play like this, but I am tightly bound by this narrow thing and have no strength to extricate myself. This is the root cause of his mania. From this age, you can see what he looked like when he was 15 years old. One of my relatives has a child who has been delayed like this. He is the child of my cousin. The last time I went back to my hometown, I heard my father talk about this nephew. His parents were indulgent and accommodating in the early stage, but were unable to control him in the later stage. Now he is 25 years old and has fallen into depravity. After getting married and divorced, his wife took the child away, and his cousin-in-law sighed all day long, sighing for his own life. Suffering, that young man is powerless, incompetent, helpless, selfish, and degenerate towards the current situation. It is said that he is already thinking about evil ways. Here comes the key point. A child in such a predicament is like a drowning person who urgently needs help from his parents. They must decisively and forcefully take any necessary measures to fish him out and save him to the shore at all costs. As for the parents of this 9-year-old child, they were lazy in the early stage. In order to save trouble for themselves, they were afraid that the child would cry and be upset, so they put an electronic product into the child\’s hand to calm them down for a while; in the later stage, they were stupid and could not see that the child was in deep pain or in pain. I saw how we were getting by because we were unable to change. You ask me, how to rescue this 9-year-old child? That is, first briefly tell him the causes and consequences of this incident, and then express to him his parents\’ determination and actions. Then we must quickly confiscate all electronic products, muster up courage, flexibly fight with the child, and try every means to help him learn self-control, pull him into the real world, and let him gradually feel the attraction of the real world until he Become a normal child. Of course, there are other ways. For example, there are fathers who use the game itself to guide their children, actively guide and participate in their children\’s games, and help their children ashore in roundabout ways. The key is to take the initiative, show courage, and put in the energy.