How good your habits are at home will determine your child\’s life 10 years from now

The behavior and habits of a family largely determine the atmosphere and fortune of the entire family. As the saying goes, bad habits are natural, but good habits are difficult to develop. We all want to deliberately cultivate good habits in our children so that they will benefit throughout their lives, but it is always easy to ignore the bad habits that inadvertently affect our children. Today we change the perspective and look at what bad behaviors and habits in the family will affect the children\’s life. Impatient Many people reserve their worst emotions for those closest to them. Home is considered by many people to be the most relaxing place, so the fatigue and negative emotions accumulated by adults at work will be directly released when they return home. When you get home from get off work and see a house full of messy toys, your child is sitting on the floor crying because a favorite toy is broken. You can\’t help but yell: \”I\’ve been crying all day long, isn\’t it just a toy? What\’s there to cry about?\” \”The child is crying for a reason. What you have to do is to clearly realize that your bad mood at the moment is not caused by the child\’s crying. From a child\’s perspective, crying over the loss of a beloved toy deserves respect, not a scolding. When you treat him with a rude attitude and method, he also learns to directly impose his emotions on others indiscriminately, and it is difficult to consider problems from other people\’s perspective. Love to complain: You and your friends made an appointment to go on a vacation together, but your friend has something to do and can\’t go, so you have to go out as a family by yourself as planned. But you kept complaining along the way: You had asked for leave, but he didn\’t go, and many planned things had to be changed. It was so annoying, and you would never play with him again! Everyone likes everything to go according to plan. However, everything may be unexpected. Once things don\’t go as expected, how do you deal with it? Complaining will only make children learn to blame others, instead of learning to properly handle emergencies. Don\’t admit your mistake, you accidentally spilled some water on the ground, and the child happened to come over barefoot. The ground was too slippery and he fell. He cried in pain, but you refused to admit that you did something wrong. Instead, you kept complaining that your child couldn\’t walk without eyes. Obviously you did something wrong and failed to remedy it in time, which led to serious consequences, but you let your child take the blame. The child will also become a person who cannot have the courage to admit and bear mistakes in the future. Whether at work or at home, shirking responsibility is the most unwise behavior. This will make your children learn irresponsibility and lack of responsibility directly from you. When you come home from get off work one day, you happen to see your grandma chasing after her to feed her child. You grab the rice bowl from your grandma’s hand and loudly order your child to eat well. At the same time, you accuse your grandma of not listening to you. Feed the children. Grandma was about to say something, but you couldn\’t help but come to the conclusion: This is how you spoil your child. I saw it today, but I don\’t know how spoiled you are when you can\’t see it. But the truth is that the child was running around carrying rice, and grandma was afraid that he would drop the bowl, so she took it from the child\’s hand and tried to persuade the child to sit back at the dining table to eat. But you only \”believe\” what you see and are unwilling to communicate effectively. Many times our so-called communication is ineffective communication: we never listen to what the other party says, and we never care about things.No matter what the emotional basis is, I just focus on pouring out what I want to express. Really effective communication is not about suspicion, unilateral output, or quarrels, but about expressing one\’s views calmly and listening carefully to the other party\’s reasons. If you jump to conclusions when encountering a problem and don\’t communicate the specific process, your children will only learn from you to act on your whim. When your children come home from school, you habitually ask: \”Are you happy at school today? Did you encounter any difficulties?\” Before your children can answer seriously, you turn around and go into the kitchen to cook and clean the house, completely ignoring Does your child really “have a story” to share with you? Sometimes we just pretend to care about our children, but our actions tell our children: I don’t care about your answers. What children learn from us is perfunctory and disrespectful towards others. To truly care about your child, please take time out to communicate with your child with all your heart, even if it is only for five minutes, make sure that this time of yours belongs completely to him. Love to Compare When it comes to family gatherings, you like to praise other children for how good or outstanding they are, and then \”modestly\” say that your own child is not good at this or that. You never see the loss and low self-esteem of children when they are compared. You never know how much they long for themselves to be praised by their parents in public. This kind of praise and affirmation is the source of their self-confidence. It will not arouse the child\’s desire to win, but will make him learn to be jealous. Children who are always compared with others by their parents cannot see their own advantages and are unwilling to acknowledge the advantages of others. It is much better to teach children to use their strengths and avoid their weaknesses and become better people than to teach them to be jealous of others. Failure to keep promises: Before your child takes the exam, you promise him: \”Mom will take you to the amusement park after the exam!\” When the child finishes the exam happily and is looking forward to a happy trip to the amusement park, you reject him flatly. : \”You only got so few points in the test, but you still have the nerve to ask me to take you to the amusement park?\” He completely treated his own words as a joke. A child\’s initial moral values ​​come from the shaping of his parents\’ behavior. A parent who often fails to keep his word and goes back on his word cannot raise an honest and trustworthy child. A person who doesn\’t even have the most basic credibility will find it difficult to gain a foothold in society, let alone develop himself. I have no sense of social ethics and am traveling with my children. Everyone is checking in and boarding the bus in order. But you pulled your child and rushed left and right to fight your way through the crowd, completely ignoring the commotion and dissatisfaction caused by your own queue cutting. Someone protests, and you yell louder than others to stop meddling in their own business. The child follows behind you, looking blankly at this disordered world. At this moment, the world in his eyes is full of malice, and you are the initiator of this world full of malice. Maybe you are proud of being \”one step ahead\”, but what your children have learned is to use any means to satisfy their own needs, even if these means deeply harm the interests of others. The disrespectful child asked cautiously: \”Mom, why do you never come with me and dad to see grandparents?\” You replied disdainfully: \”You can just go and see them. Mom is very busy. What do grandparents have to see? They \”I\’m too hungry and too cold to die.\” Please don\’t let your children see you being mean.side. Whatever you sow, you will reap. Don’t forget, you will also grow old one day. How you treat the elderly today is how your children will treat you tomorrow. Your attitude towards the elderly is how your children will treat you in the future. If you don\’t set an example for your children to respect the elderly, the consequences will befall you one day. The child who always finds fault with others brings back a small test paper. With your sharp eyes, you find that the teacher has made a mistake, so you pick a thorn: \”This teacher is too careless. He made a mistake on this question!\” How can you be a teacher at this level? Isn’t this misleading?” The child took a bath and was about to go to bed. You stopped him loudly and said, “You forgot to prepare the clothes to wear tomorrow again. You will never remember yourself.” Everything to do!\” There is no room for a grain of sand in your eyes. No matter how small a mistake someone else makes, it will be a huge mistake for you. It seems that there is only right and wrong in your world, and everything must be divided into black and white. A person who uses his own judgment standards to measure others will never be able to see the advantages and difficulties of others. No one wants to get along with a person who cannot understand others and is full of thorns. If you don’t like studying, the first thing you do when you get home from get off work every day is to lie on the sofa and play with your phone comfortably. Watching short videos endlessly, not caring that the sound from the mobile phone is noisy enough for the children to study quietly. When the teacher reminds parents at the parent-teacher meeting to spend more time with their children and create a good learning atmosphere at home, you say disdainfully in your heart: \”What\’s the use of studying so much? In the end, don\’t you want to go to a social university for further study? Books Knowledge is dead, how can anyone live? \”Your mistake is that you equate exam ability with learning ability and underestimate the role of learning ability in a person\’s long life. For a parent who never takes \”learning\” seriously, his child will naturally \”not be able to endure the hardships of learning.\” Then, he will have to wait for the hardships of life. We often say that parents are their children\’s first teachers, and words are not as good as teaching by example. I have lectured my child thousands of times, but he doesn’t understand or do it. If you demonstrate it to him personally, he will easily learn to do it. If you demonstrate bad habits, he will be affected by bad effects; if you demonstrate good habits, he will be affected by good effects. Whether you make your child\’s life successful or ruin your child\’s life depends on your words and deeds.