How important is a happy mother to her children?

Recently, there has been a hot topic on Weibo: What is the influence of mothers on their children? A comment by psychological counseling writer Wu Zhihong was strongly recognized by netizens. He said: \”The mother\’s influence on the child is huge, especially the emotional impact, which will accompany the child throughout his life. The mother should be the container of the child and accompany the child to grow up happily.\” Some netizens responded: The influence of the mother on the child is too great. , happiness or unhappiness, how to regulate emotions, and how to view things all directly affect children\’s psychology. A relaxed and happy mother and a grumpy mother will have completely different effects on their children. Ed Tronick, a professor of psychology at the University of Manchester, once conducted a very famous still face experiment. He asked a mother to interact with her child first, and the child was very happy. Then the mother was asked to remain expressionless. No matter what the child did, the mother had no emotional response. Finally, the child collapsed and cried. At the beginning of the experiment, the mother and the child interacted normally and the child was very happy. At the beginning of the still face experiment, the mother became expressionless. The child had already noticed that something was wrong and began to think of ways to attract the mother\’s attention. The child continued to try to get the mother to interact with him, but the mother remained expressionless. Finally the child started to break down and cry. This experiment allows us to see the most direct impact of the mother\’s emotions on the child\’s psychology. If the mother is happy, the child\’s world will be bright; if the mother is sad, the child\’s world will be gloomy. Educator Zhu Xudong said: The most wonderful education is intentional without trace. The mother\’s outlook, words and deeds will subtly affect the child\’s life. Far-sighted mothers know how to create a warm and loving family atmosphere so that their children can feel happy. A happy mother is the greatest blessing for a family. Unhappy mothers are very destructive to the family. I have seen this survey: 83.2% of boys are introverted, submissive, and have no independent opinions, and 87.4% of girls are impatient, pessimistic, negative, and emotionally sensitive. Behind them all there is a strict person. The stereotypical, grumpy mother. The mother\’s emotions reflect the child\’s world. When a mother falls into a pessimistic mood, it will make the child feel insecure and even lead to long-term depression, low self-esteem, and cowardice. And a cold and gloomy mother will put the family in depression, blame each other, hurt each other, and cause a lifelong psychological shadow to the children. Thinking of the acerbic, cold and melancholy mother in the novel \”Olive Kitteridge\”. She complains, accuses and scolds all the time. She loves to belittle her husband and is unwilling to communicate problems head-on. She only expresses her dissatisfaction through quarrels. When dealing with children, he always yells and doesn\’t speak well, leaving deep psychological scars on the children. The child spent a bad childhood under the harsh blows of his mother, which made him unable to identify with himself for a long time. His parents\’ poor marital relationship also made him unable to deal with his emotions with his significant other. It was not until he experienced a failed marriage and underwent psychological treatment that he realized that the bad past was not actually his fault, and he gradually began to regain his confidence in life. Gibran said: Your children are actually not your children. They are beside you, but they do not belong to you. Every child is independentIndividuals should not be the recipient of parents’ emotional vents. In life, how many mothers vent all their worries about work and complaints about life on their innocent children. Even if the emotional relationship between husband and wife is not handled well, the resentment is transferred to the children, causing irreparable harm to the children. There is a passage in the book \”Why Home Hurts People\”: If a mother wants your child to be mentally healthy, interact with him more when he is an infant. Seeing Him, and with joy, is vital. A complaining mother will cause her children to have negative emotions of self-blame and inferiority, and may even make them feel that they are not valued and unloved, which will affect their healthy growth. A happy mother knows how to let her children feel care and love through her words and deeds, so that she can create a sunny world for her children. Image source: The movie \”Timothy\’s Bizarre Life\” A mother\’s emotions determine the temperature of her child\’s world. There is a question on Zhihu: What kind of mother does a happy and excellent child have? One upvoted answer: A happy and excellent child must have a wise and loving mother. A mother who is gentle, happy and loving is the noble person in her child\’s life. Hu Shi wrote in the article: If I learn a little bit of kindness in dealing with others, if I can forgive and consider others, I have to thank my loving mother. Hu Shi\’s mother had a gentle, generous and kind personality, which had a great influence on his life. Hu Shi\’s eldest half-brother has been a prodigal since he was a child, gambling, taking drugs, and running into debt. Hu Shi\’s mother, as the stepmother of the head of the family, was never harsh. Every New Year\’s Eve, there are always a lot of debt collectors coming to the house, and my mother never gets angry. She always entertains them well and persuades the debt collectors to go back. When Brother Hu Shi came back, she didn\’t say a word of blame. It was his mother\’s kind and gentle character that made Hu Shi know how to treat others with tolerance and kindness. After Hu Shi became a writer, he never directly confronted or showed any disrespect when faced with the sarcasm of other literati. This is why, decades later, Hu Shi is still appreciated and admired by most people. A positive and sunny mother is the best guide in the spiritual world of her child. When Liang Zaibing, the daughter of Lin Huiyin and Liang Sicheng, recalled her childhood life, she wrote: The two shabby rooms were low, dark, and damp, with bamboo strips plastered as walls and no running water or electric lights. Kerosene must also be used sparingly, and only one or two vegetable oil lamps can be used for lighting at night. However, even in a simple living environment, even in the difficult times of war and embarrassment, Lin Huiyin still did not forget to sing and read poems to let his children feel the joy of life. Lin Huiyin Lin Huiyin\’s strong character and positive attitude also subtly influenced Liang Zaibing. Let her face difficulties with a positive attitude in the future. A truly good tutor is one who lets children know how to enjoy life. How many parents feel that giving their children a wealthy material life is good for their children. To devote everything to your family is to fulfill your duties, but forget the most original and simple happiness in life. A happy mother teaches her children to treat others with a generous attitude and see the world with warm eyes. This is the most precious spiritual wealth left to her children. A happy motherEducation experts who can educate happy children point out that the mother\’s words and deeds will affect the way the child interacts with others, the way he handles emotions and feelings, and even the way he sees the world. In most Chinese families, the mother provides care and companionship to the children, so the mother\’s attitude towards life has a particularly important impact on the children. I saw a mother\’s request for help online: As a pessimistic and negative mother, I would like to know what the child wants her mother to do. There is an answer with the most responses: Mothers have to grow up on their own, otherwise it will be more difficult for children to get rid of their mother\’s influence. You must first be a happy person before you can be a happy mother. A happy mother can educate happy children. ▌Learn to control emotions. In the world of children, taking care of emotions is always more important than solving problems. Smart mothers know how to assume the role of mother when facing their children, and always remind themselves to forget the unpleasantness. Learn to control your emotions and pay more attention to the tone and way you communicate with your children. Only by not complaining, not being angry, and not being harsh can you create a healthy and comfortable growth environment for your children. ▌Learn to express love. Some people say that whether a mother can express love determines a child\’s ability to love. Children without love, no matter how good they are, are desolate inside and will lose the ability to love. Children with love, even in the face of setbacks and troughs, know how to love themselves, love others, and live in harmony with the world. Therefore, please boldly express your love for your family, and your children will imitate it. ▌Tao Xingzhi, an educator who teaches children to be active in the world, said: \”Parents give their children the correct thinking position, which is equivalent to giving them support to face the world.\” Mother is the soul of the family. Even if she is poor in material, don\’t forget to create a good environment for her children. A rich spiritual world. Because in the eyes of children, as long as there is a kind and optimistic mother, the home can always be filled with laughter and laughter. ▌Forgive the imperfections of life. I always feel that the world is imperfect, and I am always full of anger and resentment towards the people and things around me. In fact, it is the adults themselves who need to change. Please let yourself go when you cannot be perfect; please let yourself go when your children are not perfect. Stable emotions and selfless love are the most perfect parents in the eyes of children. A mother\’s character affects her child\’s life. Recommended books on scientific parenting. I really hope my parents have read this book and download the electronic version to be happy and loving. It is the most precious gift of life that a mother gives to her children.