How important is a simple and happy mother to her children?

A few days ago, a mother left a message saying that her eight-year-old son had written something in his diary: \”I feel like I\’m not happy at all. My mother is too cruel and only likes my sister. I feel like she doesn\’t love me anymore.\” , I’m scared.” When she saw this sentence, she said she felt very sad. She said that her grandma had been taking care of her son before he was 3 years old. In recent years, the old man\’s health was not good, so she quit her job and took care of her son at home. And the second child accidentally got pregnant a few years ago, so he put his focus on taking care of Xiaobao. When raising a child alone, she always gets irritable. Sometimes her son doesn\’t do his homework well, and she loses her temper. It has almost become a habit to beat up my son almost every now and then. \”Has it been a long time since you smiled at your son?\” I asked her. \”It\’s been a long time! Occasionally I see a girl with a real smile on her face and I smile back to her. But when I see my son, he always has a straight face. Usually when the child goes to school, he would be urging him, and then he would be aggressive sometimes,\” she said. I am very tired and cannot find anyone to talk to. My husband is on a business trip for a long time and is busy making money to support the family, so he can\’t help at all. Any parent will be sad if their child has such thoughts. However, it is the adults who need to change more. In fact, every child has emotional needs, and they definitely exceed the need for toys or high scores. Unfortunately many parents don’t get it. I think that if I give my children brand-name clothes and high-end toys, I think they will be happy. As everyone knows, the child is not happy at all. But the parents didn\’t take it into consideration. Or just blindly follow your own way of getting along with your children. Harsh and rigid, not responsive to children\’s emotional needs. In fact, a child will be very sensitive to the mother\’s expression a few months after birth. They send out their own signals with gestures or sounds, and then long for a gentle and positive response from their mother. With such interaction, children are happy and satisfied. Ed Tronick, a professor of psychology at the University of Manchester, once conducted a very famous experiment-the still face experiment. He asked a mother to interact with her child first, and the child was very happy and responded positively; then he asked the mother to change to an expressionless face. No matter what the child did, the mother remained expressionless. The following are screenshots of the experiment: 1. At the beginning of the experiment, the mother and the child interacted normally and the child was very happy. 2. The still face experiment started with the mother showing no expression. The child has noticed something is wrong and begins to think of ways to get his mother\’s attention. 3. The child continues to try to get the mother to interact with him, but the mother remains expressionless. 4. Finally the child started to break down and cry. I remember that when my son was a few months old, I would talk to him while he was lying in his stroller, show him some things, and perform performances for him, with exaggerated expressions and laughter. It\’s useless for the old people to tell me. You see, the children don\’t have any reaction. Indeed, he was lying there, looking at me, and occasionally giving me a small reaction. But I kept interacting with him in front of the child. Later, when he was five or six months old, the little guy bounced like a frog every day and was always happy. When we accompany our children, giving them more smiling faces will help them learn to smile. But if a child is always surrounded by negative emotions,In their family environment, these children will show negative emotions that are difficult to mediate, regardless of whether the emotions are directed at them. They will worry that their parents no longer love them. A happy mother is the source of happiness for her children. I once saw a passage addressed to mothers in a book. When I read it, I was very moved. \”You must know that it is very important from the baby\’s point of view that you can concentrate on the dirty and tiring work of raising a baby and gain happiness from it… because in the eyes of the child, softness Clothes and comfortable and suitable bathing water are all necessary for granted. But whether the mother is happy or unhappy when providing these conditions for the baby is not something the baby can decide. It depends on the mother\’s mood and attitude at the time. If the mother does these When things are done patiently and happily, for the child, it is as enjoyable as the warm sunshine shining on the body.\” Therefore, when raising children, you must do it patiently and with a happy heart. Rather than a complaining heart. If a mother often complains about her husband\’s unsatisfactory career, her children\’s lack of effort, and their unhappy life, she will unknowingly become a \”grudge\” mother. If you often lose your temper at your child, how can your child be happy? \”Life can\’t be easy. We all make mistakes. No matter who you are, change starts with you.\” Never, never become a resentful mother. No one is qualified to plant gray seeds in a child\’s heart. And a happy mother is a blessing to a family. When we are with our children, we are actually transmitting our life value through our actions intentionally or unintentionally. Even your attitude towards your partner and relatives, or the way you get along with friends, will affect your children. I once remembered a public service announcement on CCTV: A young mother was telling her son the story of a duckling. After she finished telling the story, the mother went to bring water for the child\’s grandmother to wash her feet. The young child ran to her when she saw it. He went to the bathroom… When the mother washed the child\’s grandmother\’s feet and returned to her room, she found that her son was missing. Looking back, she saw her son tremblingly carrying a basin full of water, staggering over and saying in a childish voice: \”Mom, wash your feet.\” The mother smiled happily… Then the TV screen showed A line jumped out: \”Actually, parents are their children\’s best teachers.\” Every time I see this ad, I am very moved. If you come home with a straight face every day, you will not be pleased with this or that. He has long complained that his family does not understand him, complained to his friends about the unsatisfactory life, and told his pain. If you spend your days complaining, your child will listen to you, and your depression will fill his mind and heart day by day. Many families with children prone to problems often have some common characteristics. For example, if a mother raises one or several children independently without anyone to share the burden, the mother feels exhausted and depressed. There is simply no time to meet the emotional needs of children because there are always more pressing things waiting for them to do. Such as a pile of dirty laundry at home or household chores to do. Some families even have some financial or emotional crises that need attention. At this time, many people will say, \”Where did dad go?\” Indeed, the absent oneFathers become an important reason for children\’s psychological or behavioral problems. And dad is also the biggest guardian of mom’s happiness. A good father must love his wife and children. I will try my best to make my mother feel comfortable and happy. To understand the wife\’s difficulties, you must know that when the children were young, mothers took care of the children almost 24 hours a day, day and night, while the father might just take the children to play, but the mother did the dirty work. Completed in silence. Therefore, whether it is a family issue or a child-rearing issue, the father should stand by his wife\’s side, give her support and share her burdens. Because the mother is responsible for it alone, it is very hard and prone to problems. No matter who brings children into this world, they have the responsibility to take good care of them. The more happiness there is at home, the happier the children will be.