How important is it to cultivate children’s “frustration quotient”?

On the evening of April 10, 2017, a 10-year-old boy in Dazu District, Chongqing jumped from the 20th floor of his home and died on the spot. The reason why he jumped was that his father did not allow him to watch TV. Things happened, and the child\’s parents were devastated, but everything was a done deal. When relatives and friends were sorting out the child\’s belongings, the mother burst into tears. Although she tried her best to leave some memories of her son, it was all in vain. After the news incident, many parents felt incredible. Because his father did not allow his children to watch TV, at a young age he chose to fight by jumping off a building. Is this because the child\’s mind is too fragile or is there something wrong with our education methods? We have always taught our children to study hard. If we don’t study hard, there may be no way out in life. The experience of struggling in society tells us that only studying can change our future, so we put all our expectations aside. On the child. When our children were young, we used making money as an excuse to spend no time with them, let alone set rules for their lives. As our children grow up, we begin to understand the importance of rules. When children do not If he does what we ask him to do, he will get angry and use violent discipline. But we have overlooked one problem. When our children were young, we did not give them a good life education at all, and we had no idea how much pressure they could withstand. When we naively discipline our children in our own way, they will inevitably Will use life to fight, causing tragedy in life. How important is it to cultivate children’s “frustration quotient”? When our children are young, as parents, we should let them know the importance of life, slowly guide them to accept setbacks, and use a combination of firmness and softness in their education methods. If a child makes a mistake, parents should play bad and bad roles in the education process, so that the child can feel the presence of love during the education process, and slowly let him understand the value of life. If parents really do this, then the child\’s ability to withstand stress will definitely be very strong, and the tragedy will be fundamentally avoided. I once read a story about a boy who lived in an elite family in a small city. He grew up in a privileged family, loved by his parents, and had excellent academic performance. He became a role model for many parents in educating their children. From elementary school to high school, he was the best among his peers and rarely encountered setbacks. On the eve of the college entrance examination, he swore to his friends: \”I will definitely be admitted to Tsinghua University in the future.\” When he took the first exam, he was in a hurry and forgot to bring his admission ticket. He begged the invigilator to let him take the exam, but the teacher ruthlessly refused. While most of his classmates were nervously taking exams, he jumped from the roof of the school and died on the spot. The relevant staff of the school pulled out a note from him, which read: \”I am a complete loser and do not deserve to live in this world.\” The parents were very sad when they learned about this result. They regretted that they had given their children too little setbacks, otherwise the tragedy would not have happened. Many parents attach great importance to their children\’s emotional intelligence, but never cultivate their children\’s frustration intelligence. When a tragedy occurs, they often regret it, butIt\’s too late. Frustration quotient is also called reverse quotient. The term was proposed by Paul Stotts, a famous American education guru. The concept of frustration quotient is very broad. Maybe you have never seen someone commit suicide due to frustration on the road of life, but you have definitely seen someone who is depressed because of frustration. My colleague Xiao Wang’s child is in adolescence and has recently become obsessed with video games. Since Xiao Wang is usually very busy at work, he rarely takes care of his children. When he saw his child\’s performance plummeting because of the game, he became furious, threw the game console in front of the child, and then beat the child violently. Originally, Xiao Wang thought that the child would get rid of this problem, but he did not expect that the child not only did not change, but became more and more excessive. He often sneaked into the Internet cafe to play. Later, Xiao Wang couldn\’t bear it and locked the child in the basement, hoping that he would be well. Reflect. When Xiao Wang opened the basement door again, he found that the child had engaged in self-mutilation and had wounds all over his body. This result shocked Xiao Wang, and he quickly took the child to the bedroom. Although the child\’s life was not in danger, Xiao Wang still had lingering fears. Later, he told me: \”I suddenly feel that there is something wrong with my education method. It is not the most important thing to keep instilling the concept of learning in children. It is the most important thing to let them know the value of life.\” I strongly agree with Xiao Wang\’s statement. Today\’s children are very fragile psychologically, and they often choose to end their young lives because of a little setback. Letting children withstand the pressure of life is far more important than studying well! In today\’s society, most parents attach great importance to the education of their children\’s IQ and EQ, but they only ignore the frustration quotient. This world is very cruel, and everyone will experience many storms in their life. If you don\’t cultivate your child\’s ability to resist setbacks, he will definitely not have the last laugh. Famous educator Paul Stotts believes that there are 6 ways to improve children\’s frustration quotient. If parents can do these, their children will definitely have a good future. These six methods are: encourage children to try new things as much as possible; tell children to enjoy the process rather than the results; take the children out more to let them see more of the world; use difficult tasks to train children to face failure and analyze the reasons. ability; let children learn to control their emotions and run long distances when necessary. Among the above 6 points, it is very important to let the child learn to control his emotions and tell him to control the areas that negative consequences can affect. This determines whether he will lose his temper because of a small setback. In fact, children\’s emotions hide their own demands. There is a reason for any child\’s emotions. If she loses her temper, it is because her requirements have not been met. What parents need to do is to guide their children to speak out instead of violently interrupting. If the child develops resistance, then everything will It will all be bad. It is very important to pay attention to the cultivation of children\’s frustration quotient. In the development of society, it has become unimportant whether a child loses at the starting line. What is important is whether he can finish his life smoothly. Life is a long road. As parents, we must learn to teach our children how to endure setbacks. This has a very important impact on his life. If you really do this, you must be a qualified parent.