How important it is to have “non-interruptive” parents

In the April episode of \”Mom is Superman 3\”, Uh-huh made his life\’s ridiculous juice-squeezing debut. 5-year-old Er Heng wanted to squeeze juice. After getting support from his mother, he immediately started his work. After he put the cherries and blueberries into the cups respectively, he announced that he was done and advertised: \”This juice is sour, sweet and delicious.\” Huo Siyan reminded: It has not turned into juice! Hum hum, I used my brain and immediately came up with a solution: just add water! But after trying the taste, I realized it didn\’t taste right, so I thought it would work after stirring, and told my mother: I\’m sure this will work. As a result, I once again found that the juice I made was tasteless and unpalatable. Hmm, I don’t want to give up, I think it might be a little better if I pour the two glasses of juice together and stir. So keep trying. Huo Siyan cooperated throughout the entire process of making juice, providing water, chopsticks, and helping with mixing. Although there are many mistakes in Uh-Hum, she does not interrupt or correct mistakes. Instead, she smiles and constantly guides the children to think and try to improve. In the online comment area, many people said frankly: \”If it were my child, I would probably tell him immediately that this is wrong and stop his behavior.\” Huo Siyan explained: When a child focuses on one thing, no matter whether it is right or wrong, Not interrupting is helpful for children\’s imagination. Uhm is undoubtedly happy, because his mother knows the importance of \”not interrupting\”, tolerates him, and encourages him, so Uhm can think independently and keep trying and making mistakes. Even if he keeps making mistakes, he can still be optimistic and confident. I remember when my daughter was in kindergarten, the teacher assigned a parent-child homework. The content of the homework was to draw a New Year picture together. In the group, the teacher emphasized the homework requirements: the protagonist of the homework is the child, and the parents should accompany and assist appropriately. On the day I handed in my homework, I saw a lot of excellent works. On the other hand, when I look back at my daughter’s and my works, I feel a little bit tempted to facepalm. As a result, my daughter\’s and my work actually won an award. Qingqing’s mother, who was in the same class in the same community, told me later: She once thought her work was great and wondered why she didn’t win the prize, so she asked the teacher. The teacher did not answer directly, but emphasized the rules again. After Qingqing\’s mother thought about it, she felt ashamed and regretful. It turned out that when her daughter was painting at the beginning, she was beside her and kept giving pointers. However, after giving pointers for a long time, her daughter could not draw anything decent. Her daughter was frustrated and annoyed. In the end, her daughter cried and refused to continue painting. However, Qingqing’s mother had no choice but to roll up her sleeves and go into battle herself. She composed the picture and asked her daughter to color it. When her daughter was coloring, she did not pay attention to the border and drew out the border. Qingqing\’s mother was so angry that she filled in the color herself while criticizing. Qingqing’s mother said that although the work was beautiful and perfect, it had lost its meaning. Qingqing\’s mother reflected that her daughter was actually quite good at drawing. During this New Year painting assignment, her irritable interruptions and accusations deprived her daughter of the opportunity to perform and also hurt her young heart. Picasso once said, \”Every child is born an artist\” and respects children\’s free play. Although in my eyes, my daughter’s works are not excellent. But when my daughter sees her final work, she is happily proud of it, and her heart is full of joy and confidence, I feel it is worth it.. Educator Mr. Chen Heqin once said: \”Whatever a child can do, he should be allowed to do it by himself; whatever a child can think about, he should be allowed to think by himself.\” Do not interrupt children, allow them to play and create freely, and give them It brings not only the respect of being trusted by parents, but also the pleasure of affirming one\’s own abilities. Once in the community garden, I met a mother holding a 1-year-old child for a walk. She kept giving instructions: Baby, look, there are butterflies here! Baby, there are beautiful flowers here! Baby, you Look, there are birds flying over there!… The child kept turning his head around as his mother pointed. When we heard the noise, we felt tired for the children. For such a young child, his mother has already decided for him what to watch and appreciate. What\’s even more sad is that the child only received the instruction for a few seconds and before he had time to appreciate it, he had to change the target at the urging of his mother. There was also a little girl who was squatting down with her friends to study how ants moved. As a result, when her mother came, she hurriedly pulled her up and complained that her beautiful white dress was stained by squatting. In the end, the little girl had to be reluctantly pulled away by her mother. Observation, thinking and concentration are all connected. The mother\’s interruption not only interrupts the child\’s observation, but also interrupts the child\’s thinking and concentration. Tao Xingzhi proposed in \”Creative Children\’s Education\” that children have their own creativity, and we need to further liberate children\’s creativity through the \”Six Liberations\”. The \”six major liberations\” specifically refer to: first, liberating his mind so that he can think; second, liberating his hands so that he can do it; third, liberating his eyes so that he can see; fourth, liberating his mouth, Enable him to talk; fifth, free up his space so that he can go to the big society of nature to acquire richer knowledge; sixth, free up his time, do not fill up his homework schedule, and do not force him to rush for exams. We will consciously reduce the homework burden on our children and take them to nature to increase their knowledge. But we often ignore the first four major liberations. Parents want to present all the good things they have discovered in front of their children; they want to pass on their successful experiences directly to their children so that they can avoid detours; we are reluctant for our children to suffer, so we do everything for them. However, children complete the flow of energy through activities. Our interruptions, prohibitions, and help everywhere are actually hindering the flow of children\’s energy. A psychological study found that many people who develop psychological disorders in adulthood experienced energy blockage in their childhood. The neighbor\’s Xiaoxue has been smart since she was a child, but after entering elementary school, her grades were low. Teachers often report that Xiaoxue is absent-minded in class and makes many small moves. Xiaoxue\’s mother also found that Xiaoxue was very slow in doing homework at home. She often played while doing it, could not solve big questions, always made mistakes in small questions, was careless in doing things, and often left things behind. In this regard, I was scolded and beaten, but there was no improvement at all. Later, Xiaoxue\’s mother took her child for professional attention training, and she realized that she was very responsible for her child\’s lack of attention. It turns out that when Xiaoxue was growing up, Xiaoxue’s mother often gave her children sips of water from time to time while they were playing or studying.Eat something or tell your child something. These seemingly inadvertent details become the \”root cause\” of killing children\’s attention! However, Xiaoxue’s mother is not the only parent who does this. In a parent-child education workshop, the teacher asked a parent to play the role of a child doing homework and asked him to complete an answer sheet on the spot. He also asked other parents to interpret several common mistakes and common patterns in parents\’ homework accompaniment: 1. Accusation : Look at how you can’t even do this. It’s such a simple question and so careless… 2. Inquiry-style interruption: Are you tired? Thirsty? Let’s drink a glass of milk… Eat some fruit… 3. Reminder: It’s already half an hour, hurry up and write… Dinner is about to start, hurry up… It’s already ten o’clock, don’t wait… 4. Silent supervisor :Although he didn’t speak, he would check on the child’s homework progress from time to time, see if the child had wandered off, and see how the child’s previous homework was completed… As a result, the “child” said: His thoughts were often interrupted, and his concentration was Unable to concentrate, it is easy to read the wrong questions. During the workshop, 80% of the parents said during the exchange that they had made the above mistakes more or less when accompanying their children on homework. The core of these error companion modes is one word: interrupt. Behind this interruption is the worry about the child\’s self-control, time management and independent learning abilities; it is the parents\’ self-anxiety that makes them less patient and tolerant towards their children. Therefore, please give your children more confidence, more patience, and more tolerance! When our children are observing, talking, doing, playing, and exploring, we parents try our best not to interrupt, disturb, or criticize. Don’t do it all, within a safe range, let the children explore, find answers, research solutions, and allow children to imagine and play freely. One day, your child will thank you for \”not interrupting\”!