How many days of maternity leave are required by the state? Please don\’t extend it, otherwise I will really have no choice but to get a divorce…

Maternity leave duration: 98 days, dystocia +15 days, N twins +15*(N-1) days. Experts seem to be very keen on \”recommending women to extend their maternity leave.\” First, a professor at South China Normal University suggested “extending women’s maternity leave to one year.” Soon after, Professor Li Meijin from the People’s Public Security University of China proposed “giving women a three-year nurturing period.” Her reason is this: before the age of six is ​​a critical stage of a child\’s growth, there are disadvantages in leaving it to grandparents or nannies. The most suitable candidate is the mother. Raising children is a national matter, and legislation should be enacted to give women a three-year parenting period. Faced with such benefits, not only did mothers not receive enthusiastic support, but there was a wave of doubts: After three years of vacation, who is still willing to hire women, and how to protect women’s rights and interests in the workplace? There’s more than one person to take care of the baby, and dad is here. Do you want to take a vacation together? Will the state pay for such a long leave? What should I do if I get divorced if I don’t give money? The root of the professor\’s suggestion may just be that mothers are indispensable when it comes to raising children. The father, other family members, and even the country are also obliged to contribute in this matter. However, the reality is not as fulfilling as the ideal. Taking a long vacation or resigning to take care of the children is not the relaxation and satisfaction of raising children, but the pressure from family, society, psychology, cognition and other aspects. Can a mother who is under all kinds of pressure really provide her children with the quality education they need? Is long-term leave for women really a good thing for marital relations, family harmony, children\’s education, social stability and even national construction? At a class reunion, my classmate Lan Lan almost cried and expressed to me her hardships and dissatisfaction in raising children: In the first few months after the child was born, she would wake up many times a night, and my mother-in-law and I could not get up to change the child\’s diaper. Shit, if you say a few words or make any noise, your husband will scold you – and won\’t let her sleep? I have no choice but to be soft-spoken. I quit my job after I got pregnant. I had no income and all household expenses depended on him. He had to get up to go to work the next day, so I could only endure it when I lost my temper. After the child was six months old, I went back to work. From then on, I no longer had to get up in the middle of the night to take care of the child. The child belonged to both of us. Why were you still sleeping when I was up? Lan Lan\’s husband is an alumnus of ours. He was the one who doted on Lan Lan in school back then, but now the words coming out of Lan Lan\’s mouth are full of dissatisfaction. \”No matter how good he is now, he can\’t heal the wounds he left in my heart when I gave birth to the baby. That was when a woman was most sensitive and vulnerable.\” Lan Lan\’s words describe the pain of many postpartum mothers. Inner world and real life. Mothers who are at home on vacation take care of their children as a matter of course. They have to be careful when getting up in the middle of the night to feed and change diapers, for fear of waking up the \”backbone\” of the family and affecting his work the next day. As everyone knows, mothers who are raising babies, from the moment the child is born, how many of them are lucky enough to meet a child who sleeps until dawn? From one to four in the morning, which time of night have they not seen before? Upper decision decided by the economic background. Because of their vacation, they became less confident.They are not satisfied and their status is not high. Because of their vacation, their efforts become a matter of course. When the loss of confidence is combined with full of resentment, a family disaster is coming. No wonder Lan Lan said: Fortunately, I only took a break for six months. If I had taken a break for a year or two, even if I didn\’t get divorced, my family would have been in a state of chaos. As mentioned in \”Double-sided Tape\”, the cumbersome matter of giving birth can definitely drive a normal woman crazy. How does a crazy woman work alone to maintain a complete and harmonious home. Taking long-term leave of absence for women simply to raise children is detrimental to family stability, as well as to the growth of children. The World Health Organization has pointed out that children who can spend a long time with their fathers have higher IQs, boys are more like men, and girls know better how to interact with the opposite sex. The influence of fathers on children is self-evident. Li Yan, the daughter of Faye Wong and Li Yapeng, was born with a harelip, but she was able to exude a superhuman aura at the Paris Fashion Show. She did not become a mentally unhealthy child due to physical defects or the divorce of her parents. On the contrary, she hosted live broadcasts and appeared in shows, and her self-confidence was overwhelming. Li Yan\’s healthy growth is naturally inseparable from the dedication of her father Li Yapeng. Li Yapeng took his daughter to climb mountains when she was one and a half years old and conducted scientific observations of the 24 solar terms, which he did for seven years without interruption. In order to cultivate his daughter\’s interests and hobbies, they visited the Forty or fifty times in the Forbidden City… he stayed with his child tirelessly. Repeating the same thing is a rare self-cultivation for a father. Li Yapeng did it, and Li Yan grew up very well. As Li Yapeng said, she has a very independent personality. Behind this is Li Yapeng’s contribution. However, if the mother really takes a long vacation, it is easy to give people the illusion that \”she does not need to go to work, she has enough time and energy to take care of the children\”, which also gives the father a reason to \”step back\”. A man once complained like this: My income is not low, and my wife quit her job and goes home to be a full-time housewife. She doesn’t have to go to work, she just takes care of the children at home and does housework every day… There is nothing to do, but she complains about being tired every day… Women After marriage, isn\’t it just about taking care of the housework… I do have a bad temper, but I never beat her… I don\’t understand why she wants a divorce? Once a woman leaves the workplace and takes vacation at home, she naturally begins to play the role of \”family nanny\”. Little does she know that this is actually a year-round, no-pay, no-respect occupation. As for men, it is natural for them to cross their legs and lie down, and their time to participate in their children\’s education is no longer guaranteed. I once saw such a schedule on the Internet, listed by a mother. In the timetable, there is almost no time for the father to share the housework and take care of the children. The mother still has her own job. If she works full time, the father may not have time to take a nap with the baby. \”Widowed\” marriages are not uncommon in China, and there are countless \”pseudo-single mothers\”. If there is another long-term vacation, men\’s \”I work so hard to make money, how can I have time to take care of the children?\” \”You just take care of the children. Can\’t you just take care of it?\” As his words became more self-righteous, the father\’s presence with his child was no longer guaranteed. However, immature women give birth toPost-vacation also has disadvantages for women themselves and society. Professor Li Meijin also mentioned in her speech that the three-year parenting leave for working women can still be solved if reasonable personnel deployment is provided. Yes, in theory it is possible, but no one is willing to pay for women\’s long-term leave, not the country, not society, not companies. Yao Chen said in \”Starry Sky Speech\”: Pregnancy and childbirth not only add responsibilities to me, but also add a lot of fat. I saw how powerful gravity is. Starting from the facial muscles, all the parts of my body that should and shouldn\’t sag sagged. In the past five years, I gave birth to two children and missed many good projects from good directors. When I returned to the workplace, my career was in a very embarrassing situation… I have been asked a question often over the years: How do you balance career and family? I\’ve always been confused, why hasn\’t anyone asked my husband the same question? In this era, both men and women will face the same dilemma. This is the inner cry of a celebrity mother and the voice of millions of mothers. Youth is fleeting, and you have to pay for the physical changes brought about by having children. Time flies, and the time consumption brought about by raising children, you have to pay for this alone. People talk about gold, and the general positioning of women by public opinion, this price Have to buy it yourself. Whether it is influenced by traditional concepts or limited by women\’s own physical conditions, in short, giving birth and taking vacations will ultimately have to pay a very high price for women. Not long ago, there was a report about \”Dads born in the 1970s quit their jobs and go home to take care of their children\”, which aroused heated discussion among netizens. \”My wife is better at making money than me, and I am more patient. I will take care of the children and the family.\” This is originally the most straightforward truth and is the inevitable division of labor in the family. However, behind the reports and hot discussions of the incident is the inherent positioning of men and women. Home is everyone\’s home, and children are the children of two people. Everyone has the obligation to be responsible for them. The existence of inherent concepts has always been a heavy shackles for women. The era of three obediences and four virtues has passed, but traces remain. For women, becoming a mother is their own choice, and the price paid for it is acceptable and willing to pay in the heart of every mother. However, with the development of the times and the progress of society, what we need is not time compensation such as \”extended postpartum leave\”, but the recognition of the great profession of \”mother\” by society, family and partners, and the help within our ability. This is the most effective comfort for mothers.