The second season of \”Let Me Go\” has released two episodes on Tencent Video. Lin Gengxin, Yu Xiaotong, and Yi Yang Qianxi, three popular young freshmen, take on the responsibility of raising a baby. The first episode has been played in just a few days. It has exceeded 100 million. It can be guessed that the contributors to these views are probably mothers like me, in addition to the fans of the young fans. But after only watching one episode, I, my own mother, couldn’t stand it anymore. As the mother of a two-and-a-half-year-old boy, I cannot watch the show with the entertainment mentality of an ordinary audience. The way these little freshmen get along with their children has made many mothers like me feel shocked, sad, angry and deeply sad. Coaxing + humiliating, starting the devil\’s child-rearing mode, the three young talents demonstrated three different child-rearing modes for us. Among them, Lin Gengxin and Yu Xiaotong successfully used the method of coaxing and humiliating to start a devilish journey of raising a baby. In Lin Gengxin\’s place, children can be fooled at will. As soon as they meet Xiao Conghua, they say \”Your mother doesn\’t want you anymore\”, which directly hits the establishment of a sense of security that is crucial for every child. Faced with Xiao Conghua’s tears of grievance and her request to find her mother, she casually replied, “Your mother is in the car,” and “Okay, I’ll take you to your mother,” playing with the child’s trust in her, and This trick was used again and again, until Xiao Conghua went from disappointment to despair, and her whole person lost the energy she had at the beginning. This kind of \”your mother doesn\’t want you\” jokes and \”your mother will be here in a minute\” casual fooling have always topped the list of negative comments about parenting, and are deeply hated by all parents. The security, satisfaction and unconditional trust obtained from the closest people are the cornerstone of a child\’s lifelong happiness. Dear Bear onlookers, please stop trampling on your child\’s most important needs, okay? Maybe some people would describe Lin Gengxin\’s coaxing as an irresponsible joke, but then Yu Xiaotong\’s attitude towards the children is really speechless. Yu Xiaotong\’s educational philosophy is very simple and crude, that is, \”boys are not allowed to cry.\” Coaxing is useless, and strictness is effective. He was quite satisfied with his status as a \”strict father\”. Under the guise of \”strict requirements\”, he used puff puffs to teach people a vivid and humiliating education lesson. The first is the disrespectful verbal violence. When making the bed, Pu Pu was lying on the bed, Yu Xiaotong said – and he had no objection to other children imitating him and \”reprimanding\” Pu Pu. Then comes contempt. When the program team asked Pupu to activate the gashapon machine, Yu Xiaotong and Lin Gengxin actually complained about their children in front of Pupu – by this time, Pupu was already a little concerned and was obviously unhappy. Later it developed into scolding and corporal punishment. Pupu came out late during dinner and there was no chair to sit on. He walked around the table twice and said \”I want a small chair\” at least three times, but no one paid attention to him. He cried in grievance. At this time, the subtitles printed by the program crew were \”I\’m angry when I wake up\”, \”I\’m really hungry\”, and \”I don\’t have a small chair anymore\”, using these three as reasons for crying. However, all mothers understand that their children clearly have needs but do not receive attention and response. In addition, some negative emotions have accumulated in their hearts, so they naturally cry to vent them. Yu Xiaotong made a reaction that was extremely surprising. He didn\’t help Pu Pu find a chair.Instead of comforting him, he suddenly got angry and pushed Pupu out, saying, \”Stop eating, go and stand for punishment.\” Because Pupu violated his \”boys are not allowed to cry\” principle. In this conversation that was mixed with Yu Xiaotong\’s scolding and bursts of crying, Yu Xiaotong kept emphasizing one thing: crying is very embarrassing and is looked down upon. If you don\’t want to stand still, don\’t cry. Poor Pupu was so frightened that he cried and said that he \”stopped crying\” and \”shouldn\’t cry.\” After the meal, Pupu sat alone on the sofa, trying to digest his emotions, but as he thought about it, he couldn\’t help but cry again… This episode was really sad to watch. No child is born to handle negative emotions. Crying is one of the most important ways for children to express themselves when their needs cannot be met, and it is also the most normal way for them to vent their emotions. Functionally speaking, there is no difference between crying and laughing. They are both expressions of children\’s true emotions. But there are countless people around us who love to see children laugh but hate when children cry. They use both soft and hard tactics when children cry, and do everything possible to achieve one goal: to stop children from crying. That\’s right, it\’s \”stopping\” rather than accepting and allowing. But negative emotions are also a type of emotion, so why are they not allowed to exist? Why must we deny and suppress it? The so-called acceptance and permission are nothing more than acknowledging the authenticity of the child\’s emotions. We have to admit that many of us grew up in an environment of \”non-acceptance\”. \”Non-acceptance\” is rooted deep in people\’s consciousness. Everyone believes that \”negative emotions are bad things.\” Think about when we were children, when tears were rolling in our eyes, and adults scolded us angrily, \”Don\’t cry,\” we gritted our teeth and swallowed the tears. How sad and helpless we felt? If we could have had a broad arm to rely on and a warm embrace to protect us, that power of being accepted and understood would have given us infinite courage, right? Children\’s rational analysis ability is still very weak. When negative emotions are always denied and suppressed, they will have self-doubt: Why do I often have these \”bad things\”? Is there something wrong with me? This kind of self-doubt will lurk deep in the child\’s mind and affect the child\’s long life. The most worrying thing is that just when Pu Pu was crying quietly to digest his emotions, Yu Xiaotong suddenly appeared and went mad again, using \”shame\” to criticize Pu Pu in public – Pu Pu tried to explain why he was crying, but at such a young age, he I really can’t explain what’s wrong with my emotions. Yu Xiaotong continued to be a \”strict parent\” – the little Puff struggled desperately under his elder brother, and even voluntarily punished him by standing in order not to be kicked out – the subtitles printed by the program crew were full of jokes, and these two lines angered A lot of people. Please, this is not an \”emotional drama\”, this is a painful choice made by an innocent child under the fear of being abandoned – he would rather stand in public than be kicked out alone. For a child\’s tragic choice, the program team actually called it \”sensible\” – the scary thing is that the \”strict father\” is still refusing to let go – under the weight of shame, Pu Pu\’s self-esteem completely collapsed. He began to explain the reason why he was crying like this – Yu Xiaotong was also explaining why he was angryThe reason – I really can’t stand it anymore. You like me, so I can\’t cry; in order to make you happy, I can\’t cry… What is the logic of this? Will humiliating a child make him progress? I\’m angry, but if you think about it carefully, don\’t Yu Xiaotong\’s words sound familiar? This typical \”humiliating education\” is still a method of education that many adults are proud of. What will happen to a child who grows up under humiliation? There are such examples around me. The daughter of my colleague’s sister went to the best high school here. She was among the top three in her class from elementary school onwards, and was an outstanding student every year in junior high school. She was one of those legendary “other people’s children”. When I was working overtime during the Spring Festival, my colleague brought this child to the work unit. Wenwen Jingjing was a girl, but her eyes were red and swollen and she was in a low mood. A colleague quietly told me that the child did not perform well in the final exam because of a fever. She only passed more than 20 grades in the grade. She changed her report card without telling her mother. After she was found out, her mother kicked her out of the house and she has not had a good year. Later I learned that my colleague’s sister was a “tiger mother” and had been extremely strict with her children since childhood. If the child does not do well in the exam, he will be scolded in front of him, saying that the child is useless, useless, and will definitely have no future. Under her mother\’s high-pressure policy, the child studied hard. Although her grades were always very good, she had no self-confidence at all. She did not dare to speak on behalf of outstanding students when the teacher asked her to do so. Colleagues said that the way her sister educates her children is a copy of the way their father educated them. Severe accusations, harsh criticisms, and judgments that do not allow refutation have made them have no self-confidence and are extremely sensitive since childhood. What children learn in \”humiliating education\” is to be cautious, dare not express, and carefully hide their true inner preferences and fears. It takes a long, long process for a child to build up a sense of security and self-confidence. However, it only takes one sentence to destroy these. Although children look weak, their inner world is as rich as adults, and even more sensitive than adults – Yi Yang Qianxi couldn\’t eat when he was pretending to be a bear, and it was Pupu who took the lead in passing the food to him; when Jackson wanted to find his mother, It was the 5-year-old girl who ran over to coax him, \”You can hug mommy for a long time when you go back.\” The three-and-a-half-year-old Xiao Conghua missed her mom so much that she almost collapsed. After video chatting with her mom to confirm that her mom didn\’t want her, she never cried. She just found every opportunity to express to Lin Gengxin, \”I want to find my mother now.\” When she was sleeping, she held back her tears and said, \”If I cry again, my mother will fall ill…\” Compared with the neglect, indifference and even violence of adults, , the children’s innocence and sensibleness makes the mother feel distressed. Fortunately, there is Yi Yang Qianxi, although he is only 17 years old. If Lin Gengxin\’s parenting style is not beneficial to children, and Yu Xiaotong\’s parenting style is harmful to children, then Yi Yang Qianxi\’s parenting style is what parents are most happy to see. That kind of thing. He is the one who is willing to squat down and communicate with the children. Anyone with a little knowledge of parenting knows that \”squatting down\” may seem like a simple action, but it means equality and respect. Whenever a child needs help, Yi Yang Qianxi will squat down, look into the child\’s eyes, and talk to the child as an equal. He is the one who is willing to give his children sinceritySomeone who encourages and affirms. When Pu Pu completely collapsed at Xiaotong and said, \”I have no other use,\” Yi Yang Qianxi walked over silently and said, \”You did a really good job of clearing away the dishes at noon.\” Then, he asked Pu Pu to help. I put away the dishes by myself and said \”Puff is awesome\” while working. He is the one who listens carefully to the children. When three-and-a-half-year-old Xiao Conghua turned on the fan girl mode, Yi Yang Qianxi was not impatient at all, and seriously discussed dancing with her. He is the one who can relate to the child. At night, Harleen was reluctant to let her brothers go and stood at the door looking at their backs and crying. Yi Yang Qianxi went over to pick her up, but did not turn around and carry her upstairs. Instead, he followed her line of sight and looked at the little brothers who were leaving, and calmed her down before picking her back up. While carrying Harleen upstairs, he heard the other two girls crying. He said, \”Come, let\’s cry with them.\” These words may seem childish, but they really accept the child\’s crying and make the child feel Crying is not a big deal, nor is it something to be ashamed of. Entering the room, he held one in his hand and coaxed two in his mouth. Although he was coaxing, he was not cheating at all. He said, \”Mom won\’t come over today. If you behave well these two days, mom will come over.\” He also said, \”My brother can\’t see my mother, and he sleeps alone.\” The little girls looking for their mothers gradually calmed down after being fully understood and accepted, and little Harlin fell asleep quietly in Yi Yang Qianxi\’s arms. Completely different from \”humiliating education\”, Yi Yang Qianxi\’s \”encouragement education\” allows children to grow up with respect, allowing them to know their own strengths and become better as a result. A good friend of mine has a father like Xiaotong. His growth process has been accompanied by his father\’s high-pressure control. In junior high school, because he was wrongly accused of stealing by his classmates, he was kicked several times by his father in public before he could defend himself. These kicks on him also kicked his heart far away. After graduating from college, he applied directly for overseas assignment and chose Africa. There is no communication with my family, and I only report that I am safe once a month. For many years, I couldn\’t get over the difficulties in my heart. Until that year when it snowed heavily in the south, my father was in a car accident and was hospitalized. He called him while lying on the hospital bed and apologized to him for what happened that year. On the other side of the distant earth, he held the phone and cried bitterly… The grievances suppressed in his heart finally came to an end. After speaking out, his father\’s apology made him feel that he was respected. In that program, Yu Xiaotong was the only one who said \”I love you\” to the children, and she said it more than once. But the \”love\” he showed was scary. True love should not be about fear, but that I really understand you, and you will never have to feel afraid with me. At any time, I am your strongest arm. You can rest here at any time and start again.
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