How miserable is life being controlled by parents?

Someone once again introduced a boyfriend to Mingyue. She hesitated for a moment, but instinctively refused. It has been eight years since the divorce, and she is still alone. No, it can\’t be said to be a person. She also has parents, younger siblings, ex-husband, and son. When the family she formed disintegrated, she returned to her original family and returned from her primary role as wife and mother to her primary role as daughter and sister. That\’s how it was before getting married. Mingyue is a sensible girl. He has achieved excellent grades since he was a child and often helps his parents with housework. My father said, as a sister, you should set an example for your younger brothers and sisters, and you should also help your mother with housework. My mother said, you are the elder sister, and if you have good food and drink, you have to give it to your younger brother. He is the youngest and the only boy in the family. My younger siblings said, you are the oldest in the family and you have to let us. The neighbor said that you are the best at studying and will be the most promising in the future. You must be filial to your parents and take care of your younger siblings. It\’s not easy being a parent. Mingyue lived up to her high expectations and passed the college entrance examination. Although she is a junior college student, she is the only \”female number one scholar\” in the village. The parents feel that they have hope for the rest of their lives, and the younger siblings feel that they have something to rely on in life. Mingyue majored in accounting and was assigned to the town\’s finance office after graduation. Not only is she smart and studious, she is also pretty. After working for two years, the person who introduced her boyfriend kept hanging in front of her. She always refused on the grounds that she was still young and wanted to learn more cultural knowledge. This is not entirely an excuse. In two years, she obtained her CPA certificate and took most undergraduate courses by herself. Of course, there are also girls’ little thoughts. She has never been in love, but she longs for love from the bottom of her heart. And although the love in her heart is not necessarily love at first sight like a chance encounter, at least it is not a process like a blind date. On the way to take the self-study exam, she did meet someone she fell in love with at first sight. The other party is the accountant of the town middle school, and the two of them get along very well. But when their parents knew they were \”getting along\”, they firmly opposed it. The reason is, \”What\’s the future of a middle school accountant? He comes from a rural area and has no background.\” Mingyue said, I like him, and he also likes me. My father rolled his eyes. Is it useless? Can it be eaten? Can his family afford a house or a car? Mother echoed and said, Mingyue, you are the only college student in our family. My younger siblings are not getting good grades. It doesn\’t matter to my sister, she will get married in the future anyway. But my younger brother is the only child in our family. If your parents are incompetent, your brother will still point at you from now on. The love story between Mingyue and the middle school accountant was broken like this. Later, a relative introduced her to the son of a board factory owner. Although the other party only had a junior high school education, he served as a soldier for three years and was assigned to work in the county public security bureau after his career change. They promised to transfer Mingyue to the County Finance Bureau. Under the strong encouragement of her parents, Mingyue met each other. I can\’t say I like it, nor am I particularly disgusted with it. The other party\’s whole family is very satisfied with Mingyue. We had only known each other for more than a month, and after seeing each other two or three times, the other party\’s parents proposed marriage. Mingyue disagreed. In just two or three meetings, Mingyue felt that the other party had a bad temper. But my parents said that there is nothing good about a man having a good temper and a girl being too effeminate. He has served as a soldier and has great momentum. Besides, if your family has money and can arrange a job for you, you will have enough confidence, and it’s normal to have a temper. With the help of their parents, they got married. marriageThe next year, a son was born. During Mingyue\’s pregnancy, the other party cheated on her and committed domestic violence. Mingyue told her parents that she wanted a divorce. The father stared at his eyes as big as eggs and said, divorce? Marrying into such a good family and getting divorced? What man doesn’t have a bit of temper and a bit of a frivolous spirit? Calculate, how much money has he given to our family from the time you got married to now? Which family can be so willing? The mother sighed and said, Mingyue, please bear with me. Our family cannot afford to lose this person. We can wait until the child grows up. You see, you are almost thirty. It is not easy to find a child after divorce. Besides, your brother is almost 20 years old and doesn’t have a proper job. He doesn’t have to rely on you to get married and buy a house. If you get divorced, you won\’t get a penny. Mingyue walked alone in the dark night with the cold wind, and her cold heart was gradually overwhelmed by endless loneliness. Two years later, Mingyue still divorced, left home, and left her son with her. In this small county town where \”people are fearful\”, Mingyue never had the confidence and courage to successfully manage her next marriage, so she chose to be single. It is still her unshirkable responsibility to \”honor her parents\” and help her younger brother build a house and find a wife. Who said she is the only college student that her family has worked so hard to support? Hurley\’s mother, who was widowed at an early age, worked diligently so that Hurley could wear good clothes, live in a satisfactory house in a better part of the city, attend summer camp, and go to school like other well-off children. Be an exchange student abroad. Graduated from high school and studied abroad. She \”sacrificed\” everything for her daughter. Hurley lived up to her mother\’s expectations and passed the TOEFL exam. Studying abroad for four years consumed almost all of my mother\’s savings. But my mother had \”no regrets\” and only had one condition: to return to China after completing her studies and work in the city where her mother was. After graduating from college, Hurley returned to the city where her mother lived, as her mother wished, and found a higher-paying job. She planned to move alone to a small apartment, which was close to her work and not far from her mother\’s residence. But people advised him not to move because his mother had made such a big sacrifice for her and it was wrong for her to leave her mother alone now. Hurley thought they were right and agreed to live with her mother. Although she spent a lot of time on the road commuting to and from get off work, my mother was very happy and it was worth it. Later, she fell in love with a young man, but her mother disapproved of her making friends with him because his home was too far away from the city. Hurley explained that they would never leave her alone. Mother still disagrees. She ran away from home after a big argument with her mother. A few days later, hearing people say that her mother cried all day long because of her leaving home, the powerful feeling of guilt once again affected Hurley. She gave in to her mother. After a few years, Hurley was completely under her mother\’s control. Eventually, she destroyed herself with the repression caused by guilt, blaming herself and her mother for every failure in her life. In real life, many people obey their parents out of traditional filial piety, even at the expense of their own happiness. It is human nature to be grateful to our parents, and it is also natural to be filial to our parents. However, many parents, influenced by traditional concepts, moral customs, cultural level, and personality characteristics, often have cognitive biases and feel that their children are their own private property, even if they ((She) is married, and I am still his (her) father, and he (she) has to listen to what I say. Whether you are happy or not, they don’t know, don’t want to know, and can’t feel it. Whether you live according to their requirements and \”grasp face\” for them is the meaning of your existence. Like the bright moon, she is the capital for her parents to show off and the source of their finances. What does it mean if your husband cheats? What does domestic violence count? Divorce is the most embarrassing thing. Not only were people lost, but money was also lost. Hurley, completely controlled by her mother and her own sense of guilt, had a bright future because \”her mother sacrificed everything for her\” and had to sacrifice everything she had to \”fulfill\” her mother. Where does happiness come from? It comes from the expectation and striving for a better life. Comes from choosing to live your life on your own terms. Never bear any emotional debt. Come from never being influenced by others (including parents). Parents who truly love their children will never expect to gain benefits from you (both financially and emotionally), but will let you fly to the other side of happiness. Your financial and emotional contributions to them are all done willingly, without any coercion or control. Only in this way can you live your own life without being controlled by your parents.